i just reached home from a long shopping spree with
sera viv and lijie.
boy oh boy was it tiring.
i seriously gotta salute sera for being able to walk around for so long in those crazy high heels of hers.
i couldnt even last 5 mins.
but it was really fun i guess.
sharing the same changing room.
trying i dunno how many skirts.
thanks dearies
had a great time.

i'm reinstated.
i get to officially sail again
yeah.

All the best to all my frens taking their A's.
good luck darlings.
study hard.
hang in there.
you guys will do just fine. *grinz*

i should be taking my A's too.
screw it.
i fucked my own life.

being at the end of the island.
surrounded only by sailboats sea and sand.
a place of peacefulness.
the stretch of long endless road to the bus stop.
i miss it.

"When I'm With You" - simple plan
I'm taking my time
I'm trying to leave the memories of you behind
I'm gonna be fine
As soon as I get your picture right out of my mind

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you
I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to
But everytime I call you don't have time
I guess I'll never get to call you mine

You're nothing at all, I know theres a million reasons why I shouldn't call
With nothing to say, could easily make this conversation last all day

Another lesson I didn't get to learn
Your my obsession
I've got nowhere to turn

a sudden sense of emptiness and uncertainty just swept pass me.
hitting me real hard.
no explaination to why i'm feeling this way.

i wont let myself be crestfallen.
smile girl.

i really miss my teddy bear.

good things always have to come to an end.
itz time to wake up from my sweet dream
and leave the fairytale land.

i wanna be peter pan.
and stay in neverland.

two pple successfully ruined my sat evening.
i'm angsty.
i'm pissed.
now i'm stuck at home.
watching tv all alone
when i'm supposed to be out with my former class.
gosh.
this sucks.

i felt like a lil princess diz morning.
although you were really late..
still thanks for waking up extra early to send me to school
the car ride was great.
except when you started doing it.
when will you stop?

i still love my teddy bear.

open house was a blast.
alison rocks.
edgar's band rox.

finally putting an end to it
was harder than i thought it would be.
your reaction in fact
was the hardest to accept.
its weird the way things turn out.
this sense of numbness in me.
the failure of it all.


wheee....i got back all my results.
finally.
EEF.
sucky.
but i made it.
*phew*

thanks to those who has always been there for me..
praying hard for me.
being there for me when things were rough.
viv. sera. lijie. buddy. edgar. grace. ven. mich.
yewsong. my classmates and everybody else...love ya guys. =)

i owe cj a treat.
at marche's
oh great.

for being the special person you always are.
for going the extra mile to put a smile on my face.



i'm glad i knew you.

thanks.

love you

every minute we spent together.
i wont forget.

met viv sera and lijie today.
they were mugging.
maths econs chem..
wadeva it was
and i was just doddling as usual.
great seeing viv..
miss you darling.

i'm still waiting.

this is really taking ages.

still waiting for my results.


this is really taking quite sometime.
hurry pls.

i'm scared.

sailing was awesome.
the sun. the sea. the salty air.
sailed a really long stretch to some really distant buoy where the ships dock.
the air was still.
the sea was calm.
and i was just cruising with my boat.

the island was far behind me.
the sea looked especially clean and beautiful.
it was in a really unusual shade of blue.
there was hardly any disturbance to the surroundings.
just peace and quiet.
something i havent felt for a long time.

prob took me almost an hour to sailed back to shore.
fell asleep in my cockpit.
i could feel the heat hitting hard on my bare skin.
the warmness of my life jacket.
the coolness of the sea.
it was the most pointless training i've ever had.
but also the one of the best.
leisure sailing. literally.
i wanna sail again.

i failed my maths.
but i was smiling when i got it back.
i guess i was long beaten.
saw it coming anyway.
wasnt affected much.
i've surrendered.

but someone kept reminding me it sucks.
constantly.
den did it really hit me hard.
i'm upset.
no more smiles.

the smell of smoke was stinging
you tried hard to keep it away.
but its just too strong
i'm not pretending that i am all right with it.
i'm not accepting it cause its you.
i just dun have the right to stop you.
but i wish you would quit.

went to sera's place early in the morning.
tot i would like just chill out and talk
but i ended melting into her comfortable sofa and fall asleep
zzzz.....itz really comfortable man

met my buddy for a show.
resident evil.
wasnt too bad a show
but aint fantastic either.
we were having lunch and staring at those secondary school kids.
st nicks. cat high. pl. ri. wadeva it was..
just student-watching and bitching.
the way the dress.. the way they carry themselves in their uniform.
some really din look to pleasant.

but looking at them.....
i cant help but wonder
was i like that last time?
seems like there's a huge generation btw me and them already.
how time flies.

some pictures i took on the last day of school 

sick of life

climbing up the freaking mountain
covered with snow
beneath it
the thick rocks.
peeking out of the snow occasionally
blocking every step forward you take.
you're all alone on this
no one to guide
no one to lead
you're all by yourself.
suddenly..
everything collapse.
an avalanche.

someone told me never to give up.
to fight on.
dun let destiny overcome me.
i told him i wouldnt.
but how long can i last.
i'm tired.
i just want to lie on the white cover
and never wake up.

reality is never good.
that's why there's fairytales.
dreamland.
where everything's perfect.
i'm looking forward to my fairytale
with my teddy bear.

met my team today.
ok..maybe half my team.
miss them.
those were the days.



silly girl loves teddy bear.
teddy bear loves bolster.

Chapfallen

i finally finished the marathon.
but i had a very bad finish.
a really awful one in fact.
havent felt so demoralized and disappointed in myself for a long time

feels good to wake up this morning knowing that i've nothing on my agenda.
dun have to study for another 12 hours like what i've been doing for the last few weeks.
however, the thought of screwing up my maths really badly still lingers in my head.
it doesnt want to leave.
i dun even wanna pack my bag and see my question paper.
fuck it.
i worked hard for my paper.
i cant believe this has happened.
i hate myself so much.

woke up with a temp of 39.9 diz morning.
my whole body was aching and hot.
yet i was still cuddled up under my thick blanket.
shivering.
din wanna wake up.
or leave my bed.
i've never felt this sick for a while.
i guess my immune system finally gave in to my odd schedule
but must it break down yesterday???
the day when i had 2 papers.
the day when i needed it to be at its best condition.
thanks.

i'm now just waiting for my results.
my fate depends on it.
i'm praying.
praying real hard.

to edgar and grace.
thanks for being such great studying partners.
to my dearest sera, lijie, vivien and buddy,
thanks for being there and helping me with my work.
love ya guys

"baby cakes" *a very interesting and nice song*

I just want you to know oh oh
That I think our love will grow yeah yeah

Baby cakes
You just don't know, know
How I I
I like it down low
And I just want you to know
That I think our love will grow
Will take it step by step
Because I'm not something you own

Confused don't know what I'm feeling
Confused relationships without meaning
In the mist I can see it gleaming
Time to wake up and stop the dreaming
Coz you're my lil Baby cakes
And I know you got what it takes
The way you make me feel
The way that I am
when you talk to you friends
And you call me your man
Im gonna tell you right now
That I appreciate it
You're the one for me
Your the real Shit
You was right there from the start
When I was lost you helped me find my mark
Tell her I gotta thank you thank you
Through the bad times
I jus picture me and you
With our fun time whether funs loaded
There's just one thing I want you to know

I just want you to know oh oh
That I think our love will grow yeah yeah

Baby cakes
You just don't know, know
How I I
I like it down low
And I just want you to know
That I think our love will grow
Will take it step by step
Because I'm not something you own

Lovin every minute
Just you and me
And I'm still dreaming
You'd be my baby
Maybe there's a possibility
We grow old together live happily
And your grave
Bring out the tiger in me
He says do i never need cursing me
You're the man for me
The one who thinks what will life be like
If our eyes never met
And they say it's a song for everyone
At the first sight you know it's love
See the person and you can't be hostile
Coz you got butterflies in ya belly
That's why I like a different dimension
Coz you can't help it but feel the affections
Sexual tention physical attractions
Instant flip flirtation actions

I just want you to know oh oh
That I think our love wil grow yeah yeah

Baby cakes
You just don't know, know
How I I
I like it down low
And I just want you to know
That I think our love will grow
Will take it step by step
Because I'm not something you own

I I got to know

The way you look at me
Yeah you pull me closer
Our bodies together
Under the cover
Soft kisses
With ya hands all over
If I have to cry
Then ya cry on my shoulder
Can't get enough
When you loosen my neck
Goes down to my belly
Carress my breast
Well ship your body
Like you were a goddess
You're the man for me
Need 2 gimmie the best
Your the number one for me
And it's no contest
For Any other man
Who got no interest
Loving you
Whenever it's wrong or right
I'm thinking of you
Everyday and night
People don't get the wrong idea
It's about us so don't interfere
The way you look at me
Cakes its gotta be
When your're out
When your stood right next to me

I just want you to know oh oh
That I think I'll have a go yeah yeah

Baby cakes
You just don't know, know
How I I
I like it down low
And I just want you to know
That I think our love will grow
Will take it step by step
Because I'm not something you own

impossible is just a big word thrown around
by small men who finds it easier to live in a world
they've been given than to explore the power
they have to change it.
impossible is not a fact. it's an opinion.
impossible is not a declaration. its a dare.
impossible is potential.
impossible is temporary.
impossible is nothing.

one down.
two more to go.

1095 days ago.
i'll always remember

i hate being misunderstood.
and someone just did it again.
itz just annoying.
itz just so frustrating.
i hate it.
stop it pls.

sometimes its just amazing how much one can do.
and push herself as hard as she could
and no one who ever understand.
you do your best to please someone.
you do your best to satisfy someone
but all dat person has to do is just say a simple sentence.
to ruin ur mood.
ruin ur motivation.
i just wanna do well now.
i need to.

tomorrow's econs..
i'm scared..
really am.
3 more days to the end of promos.
dat's fast..
it's gonna end much faster than i think it would.
izzit the end of me then?
i'll be praying hard.

144 hours dear.