sailors gathering at grace's place yesterday...and once again....
i was bounded by joy and laughter.
love every sailing gathering we have.
the crazy bunch of people...who never fail to bring that laughter to me.


the rain stopped while i was on my way home.
good to know that it had...
not nice to have the weather dampen the last day of the year...
people ought to be out celebrating it...unlike me.


so in my attempt to spent a happy last day of 2005.
it dint turn out all so well.
went to church followed by long bus rides to boon lay to pick my boy up.
halfway....my phone vibrated... only to found out his godsis passed away.
no longer a happy day. no longer the day i was looking forward to the whole week.


he tried to be strong and kept his promise to shop with me.
the weather din allow that....things that happened din allow that.
so there i was....on my way home alone from clementi....
with the rain adding to my loneliness.

A happy new year to one and all. =)


it had been a pretty eventful year of 365 days since Jan 1st 2005.
in JAN....i had you...and no regrets ever since.
in FEB... my nicest valentine's day
in MARCH...my horrid Block test 1.
in APRIL....baby started the much dreaded "commitment to the nation"
in MAY....my wonderful frens spending my birthday with me.
in JUNE....our regattas where we showed MJ that they have met a strong competitor.
the tough trainings...my beloved team....
in JULY.... we fought hard and came in victorious second...the long awaited silver....i was so proud of my team.
in AUGUST.... i had to prepare for my prelims...and at the same time...deal with my horrid bt 2 results
in SEPTEMBER.....just study study and STUDY.
in OCTOBER...prelims...
in NOVEMBER.... my life in JC came to an end....and it was my dreadful A levels.




to my darlings... lijie, sera, wen, vivi, wei, prisc...i love you girls...and i'm always thankful that i've you guys...for always being there...for always loving me.....

esp to viv...known you for almost a decade....you've always such a great fren...calling me every now and then and entertaining me....to silently being there for me..love you very much.

to lijie and sera..... things have changed a little since you both left sa.... but i still love you guys so much...and miss those chilling out times we used to have often in the past.

to my class of A51.... we have grown so much closer this year....and i'm so very glad that happened.....cause you guys have been wonderful....our nonchalant attitude towards certain teachers...our mugging together... 14 girls and 2 guys.... the cheena pok class...=)

to yeanling and wanting....for being my greatest classmates....yeanling...for always having to bear my nonsense and crazy moods.....to help me collect my work and copy your notes everytime i skip class....for keeping me awake during tutorials....i miss you much....
wanting...for being my pretty and funny babe.....miss you too.

to my sailors of 2005.... edgar and ven for being such great captains....the three of us make a great leadership team. to grace and michele for their funny tactics.... to jiayi and yulin....for bringing us the medals..... to dinghao and samuel....the not so well taken over-ed quarter masters....but still...you guys did a great job.....to edric....for being such an idol with your fan club...and to fidelis...our team's little baby....
thank you girls for bringing such a great ending to [SA]iling.
would never forget the moment we heard we got 2nd.

not forgetting to my baby dearest...
for entering my life.... not just as my buddy...
for being my best soulmate...
for being the person you are.....
love you.

lastly.......to every person who have made an impact in my life this year in a way or another...
i wouldnt mind if you continue to be in 2006.

latest addition to my wishlist......
holga....

i got tagged AGAIN...by darling yeanling...

1. i like taking photos... =)
2. i quite like shopping.
3. i'm a closet tomboy.
4. i think i'm fat....but because i think that we live to eat..... i'll prob not slim down. =(
5. i was a st nick girls for a decade plus one!!! *yes....SN gal i am*

people i wanna tag...
1. yeanling
2. see 1
3. see 1 and 2
4. see 1,2 and 3
5. see 1,2 ,3 and 4

yeanling~!! 25 things~!! thanks....*smuacks*

decided to go vegetarian tmr...
cause of the large portion of roastd duck rice i had.
3 bucks for like a plate of 1/3 roasted duck.
for MYSELF.
detox pls.


dinner with the girls...
meeting time was 6...but i only saw lijie and sera at 615...
the rest??? they came at like almost 8??????
*&#$@#J#**
but i still had a wonderful time.
the crazy photo sessions..
the olging..
dinner at fish n co..
girls' talk at esplanade.
our funny tactics...

my girls....i miss them so very much.
if only time would return to the st nicks days.

a strong realization on how much our lives has all taken a huge turn since our blue pinafores days...
7 girls whom have all become fine ladies.



when's our bball game??? i want...soon pls....






splendid 11 months.... no regrets..

my boss is a coocoo k....
when sam and i are around...
he reviews ONE file.
when there's only one of us around.... which at this moment is me and only me
he reviews FIVE file...
talk about sharing the work load...
*SOBzzZZzzz*


had lunch with the secretaries today...at this malay stall which i still think its a rip off.
the food is nice....but still dun think it is justifiable by the price.
oh well.... i blew 8 bucks....
maybe shall not take dinner tonight.

anyway.... "best fren" started telling us her life.
she said she was a flirt. ya...she said it out loud...
den she started telling us that she doesnt believe that we should be tied down to a guy.
ya...she flirts around...

oh ya....but i din mention...
she's married~!!


for 5 years.....

she says she encourages her husband to look at other girls...
and that she will look out for pretty girls and TELL him...
gosh.....
she also started saying she doesnt wanna have kids cause she doesnt want the reponsibility and commitment.

den comes my question....why marry? sigh....

funny thing was...she din even how she ended marrying her current hubby...
cause she din wanna get married...
but it was a moment of.......passion???

wadeva is....."best fren" is wild man...



meeting my girls tonight...cant wait.

i had been tagged by my dear stead...
its this thing whereby when u've been tagged you're supposed to say five things about yourself and then name five people you wanna know more about and tag them.

so here goes...

1. i hate smokers. and i hate it even more when they puff it straight in my face.

2. i love painting....cause i love colours... love playing around with colours....isn't it bea-u-ti-ful?

3. dun get into my bad books...cause you'll rarely get out of it....

4. i look really dao when i dun smile..... and i dun usually take the first initiative to know people... so....sorry if i scared you? haha....

5. i'm pretty angsty....=) so be nice to me...and i'll be nice too~!! *peace*


5 frens i wanna tag?

1. menghui.
2. lijie.
3. sera.
4. jiefang.
5. yeanling

back at work..zzz..
the familar footsteps of "best fren"
the sound of the coffee machine.
the mundane working hours...

bangkok trip was awful...
just pure horrendous.
i was like pissed and irritated most of the time.
and i barely had time to shop.
thanks to my wonderful beloved uncle.
damn it....it was as though i was running the amazing race.
wth..

anyway...its too long and too irritating to blog out everything.
to simply summarize it.
bad trip.
and i will NEVER travel with my uncle...
period.

i wanna go bangkok again though.
cause i freaking din get much things for myself.
talk about shopping....all i bought was a few bras for myself.
that's about it.
darn....like that's ALL???!!!!!!??
wtf....

anybody interested in going to bangkok???


christmas weekend is over.
barely felt the christmas-sy mood this year.
sigh....
maybe cause i only came back on the 23rd.
feeling DARN F up. *smile*
apologies with the language.

christmas eve was spent with baby and his family at costa sand at east coast.
bbq...and that's about it. sigh...
a little boring.

christmas day itself was dinner at my aunt's place as usual.
got a levi's voucher.. a charles n keith voucher and a polo tee.
that's about it.
heh....guess they all ran out of ideas on what to buy for me.
so vouchers are good. den i can go shop myself....wheee....

boxing day was spent with baby again.
poor boy had to book in at 9pm.
and he was so darn upset.

conclusion: army makes guys upset..
especially mine. sad....





sorry for saying those mean words to you
sorry for making you worried.
SORRY~!!! *smuacks*

dun wanna go to bangkok anymore.....
*sob*

happy birthday pretty wanting!

about an hour to lunch now.
and sam n i had did NOTHING since reporting for work.
basically we're getting paid to surf the net.
for now.

my cousin's gonna drive me to the airport straight after work.
=) off to bangkok...
which i dun think will be such a great trip.


would rather be in singapore and not leave my baby in a lurch.
he seemed so upset to be back in camp.
feel awful leaving him alone when he needed me...

it seems that guys being in army only make them more treasure their girlfrens more.
so i guess...that's good for most girls out there...
rite?

its christmas week....whoopee...
had a fairly good weekend i guess.

met up with the sailors on fri.
queued for an hour beforer dinner at nydc.
it was fun.
everybody was present.

after dinner...we walked like from wheelock to heeren..
hoping to find a place at the balcony.
and we slowly moved down to emerald hill.
and den back to the al fresco coffee club.
in the end..had to settle in a squeezy cosy corner in starbucks.

but it was fun.
catching up on everybody's life.
esp cheryl and her vet stories...
"castrating" the dogs and cats... and the horrendous and painful looks on the boys faces.
grace and her foreign frens.
charlene and her gigs.
pure hilarious.

cheryl: ya lar...after you cut it off...just tie a knot.
jin: huh?
cheryl: just a normal knot larz. knot knot.
jin: so you can choose wad knot to tie?
chong: ya..reef knot? bow line? half-hitch?
*laughters*
jin: ya...you can choose to tie a diff knot everyday!!


grace was talking about her british fren who likes relationships with NO STRINGS ATTACHED.
and jin got so excited.
den charlene mentioned her outgoing aussie frens too.
cant remember exactly who mentioned which country.
but because of the liberal minds and openess of the foreign counterparts mentioned
jinpeng started listing the countries he wants to visit.

cant wait for the sailing gathering.
miss the team already.


sat was mahjong with the gang
and i won like 24 bucks.
from everybody. so i was like the ONLY winner.
think i'm condemned by leslie now.
won really big tiles. and won many games too.
les told me to announced that i was waiting to game if i was to be waiting.
special requirement from me and only me.

woohoo....every mahjong game should be like that.
*grinz*

went out with baby to suntec after to do my last min christmas shopping.
ended up buying huge barney for my little princess.

woke up early this morning to head down to city hall for the mango sale.
my crazy cousin wanted to go.
gosh...this would be my first and last first day mango sale ever.

firstly,
i had to join the crazy queue at 715 am.
which was already 40 people long...in a single file.
den i have to wait for the doors to open at 8am??

secondly,
people were pushing me around.
and taking into account i'm pretty short and comparatively small.
i could barely even figure my way around.
gosh.
all i saw was boobs and bags.

thirdly,
i got stomped on by freaking heels.
stabbing hard into my poor feet.
ouch.

to top that off... the clothes arent even that nice.
sigh....i'll just stick to shopping when there's lesser people.
frantic shopping is just not me.
could literally see the cat claws coming out of the ladies.
fighting for that piece of clothing they eyed.
the stares they give you when you're holding to some nicer top.

where's the joy of shopping.
no enjoyment derived there.
pointless.

left the shop within 10 mins.
and waited outside for my cousin and sam.
staring at people was much more interesting.

a number of ladies brought their guys there.
poor guys...
they were there to fulfil their duties

DUTY 1: to buy breakfast for their honeys while their honey joined the queue early in the morning.
DUTY 2: to be the "shopping bag", i.e, where the girls dump their shopped clothes at. --saw 3 guys by the corner looking bored with hands filled with clothes--
*giggles*
DUTY 3: to queue up for payment as the ladies continue scramming for clothes.
DUTY 4: pay for them???


i'll stick to slow shopping with my frens.

got my pretty new birks today...
whee.....happy....
i would prefer them in white though.
but i already have another in that colour.
oh well....this colour is pretty pretty too.


i love this new laptop i'm using now too.
nice.
the old one back at the old office was horrendous.
killer to my poor fingers.


hate working at this new office.
hate that bitchy lawyer who THINKS she's damn hot.
ewwwww.....
that's about it.
thou shall be nice.
=)

been wandering the 48th floor office at uob plaza yesterday.
just settled into the new office...
which other than the splendid view....i barely like.
it's more cramped up den the old office...
worse still....filled with more people. esp irritating ones.
even the bosses barely have enough rooms for themselves.
so basically i'm just gonna have to hop around.

sitting in one of the big bosses room now.
he aint coming back till next year.
so for now...
i'm typing away with the gorgeous view of half of shenton way, sentosa and the southern view just behind my screen.
gorgeous. pure bliss. wonderful.






a sudden guilt just slapped me hard.
feel that i've neglected my girls.
just feel so drifted away from them.
miss sera...miss lijie...miss those days the three of us were always hanging around.
miss vivien...the times we always played around.
just wished i had more time for them.

maybe cause i'm no longer on the same "year" as them.
maybe that's why i feel so dislodged.



drifting away by myself.
miss you all.

Happy birthday Willy....


3 things i did today.

1. got angry with you. -sorry-
2. minimized baby's lost in mahjong game. -phew-
3. bbq-ing for andy's brother's birthday. -zzz-


2 things i regretted doing today.

1. getting angry with you.
2. skipping mass.


1 thing i wanna do now.

1. hug you to sleep.


christmas is coming in 2 weeks
havent started christmas shopping.
and i barely feel the christmas mood this year.
is it cause i'm broke??

but somehow...
the idea of buying presents for everybody is a very appealing thought.
besides totaling the receipts at the end of the day.......

not boasting here but sometimes...
do think that i'm quite efficient when i want to be.
note the " want to be" though.
been helping out in packing the files of diff lawyers into boxes the last 2 days...
cause we're shifting to the new office next week.

and the people here are like finding work for me and sam to do.
cause we tend to finish wad is given to us pretty quickly.

anyway...office politics have set in against the both of us.
yucks. but bring it on.

that aside...went back to collect my testimonial this early morning.
and i have a pretty good one of that.
ya...another testimonial that happily promotes me to be a cousellor.
just like back in st.nicks.
The only diff is that my O's testi emphasized on my 120+ CIP hours.
but in JC...ahhaa....i barely did any CIP....so the focus was more on class rep and sailing.
being responsible....being a team player.
oh well....at least the facts are fairly accurate for me as compared to my classmates.
but at the end of day...... i sound like this really lovely girl who everybody likes and talks to....
which i really doubt so.

HAppy birthday grace~!
it was yesterday...but blogger was down..so yup


i'm still burnt.
still in pain.
i've started peeling a little too.
my skin is so dry. gosh..

i'm so sad..
cause i've got this tiny white peeled patch on my face.

it's been a long time since i last baked myself under the sun.

yesterday...went out to sea with his family...
and now...
i finally have a tan...
i'm finally darker....

had a really nice time yesterday...
speeding out to pulau hantu...
followed by sun-tanning at the deck of the boat..
and of course....playing and jumping of the boats and bridge...
pure silliness...but pure fun...

my shoulders are hurting bad now.
ouch.
got a mild bite by stupid jellyfish...
baby got bitten too.
double ouch.

love my tan...love the sun.

had a class chalet at changi yesterday.
almost everybody was there with the absence of peiwen and lihmin only i think.
even our darling boys came.

leon just touched down from hk and he rushed over. with fresh lao po ping.
so sweet. think this boy changed so much over the year.

oh yeah.
mr peh joined us too.

mr peh was kinda like "serving" us.
clearing the mess we created..
he was like "haiyo...u girls never clean up wan eh"
bbq-ing for us.
ya...and he claims he was "chicken-biased"
cause he only bbq-ed chicken wings.
anyway...he made great choc bananas.
yummilicious....plus fattening of coz.

he's such a funny t-cher.
he's like one of us.
he kindly offered to "chauffer" the girls everywhere...like pick them up from the mrt.
send them so they could get e last train. and even like offered to send those staying over early back home e next morning.
how nice is that.

anyway..i think i bbq great marshmallows. serious.
crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. *anybody wants one?*
wanting makes nice prawns.
and yeanling make yummy sausages.
we're great cooks man.


the wind was like really strong last night.
and i mean really.
you could seriously be blown away man.
i'm used to strong winds out at sea..but this was like....whoa.
the waves were slamming hard onto shore...
sounded like it was the end of the world.
scary.

hope to have a class chalet soon again.
miss my class already..
thanks for the great night.

menghui dear...thanks for getting the chalet k?
and jiefang n yeanling for being my crazy photo partners.
love ya all.


http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2116710298

met my girls for dinner yesterday.
6 out of 7 present..
where did darling lijie go? i wonder.
so i guess it was more of a bballers date.

anyway...some were late... and some had to leave early.
short but sweet.
i'm so glad i met my girls.
and i miss them so much.

christmas dinner ok?
ya...and we shall all dressed up PROPER.
can't wait to see them again.
love ya all.

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2116739110

tee hee...i got bored over at baby's house e other day.
so i decided to snap my time away.
fun.

love this pic......

love this boy.

sometimes i just love it so much when my mummy's not in singapore.

my daddy is so much better when it comes to telling him we're out.
my mom will start asking lotsa of questions and start her usual nags once we said we're going out.
i'm 19...and she just wouldnt let go.

daddy is great...
all he would ask is where and who...just for the sake of asking...
and den he would say dun come home too late ok?

that's it.
lurve my daddy.

my special day

for the surprise i got when i left the office building.
for the wonderful dinner we didn't finish.
for the walk around shenton.
for the long bus wait that never came.
for the every minute i spent with you......


i could only wish for more.


thanks for making this day so special.


love you so very much.
nobody else but you

came across ros's blog and i chanced upon this entry she made...

it happened some day in march 2004
we were celebrating the march babies birthday - chong ben and ven-
and we ended up playing taboo in ros's room.

it was a guy vs girl thing...
and we came to a huge realisation the heavily polluted mind of our boys.


Question: What do you guys look at when you see a girl?
Ben: Tits
Andy: Breasts
Jinpeng: I can't remember what he said but of course it's something dirty.
Chong: Figure!! (correct answer)
Apparently Chong gets the most correct answer when it comes to disgusting stuff.

Another one,
What happens after you had sex?
Chong: hyperventilate! (what?!)

Welcome to my life in [SA]ling....
our boys....our always hilarious and funny boys...
but they were too....the most helpful boys in like the history of [SA]ilors...


and i truly miss them.

felt so sad going down to nsc today.
1st...i miss the place.
2nd.. i miss sailing.
3rd...i couldnt get my tan.
4th... i saw my darling 151485 sail and my darling Nooblet in someone elses's hands.

sigh...i'm sad.
my wonderful sail which has accompanied me thru all weathers...
my darling nooblet...of which andy and i shared...
of which i took so much effort washing and protecting it.
and of course...my beautiful rigs...my gorgeous rudder and daggerboard.
my thin traveller...my smooth power pac system....
my colourful nooblet...
you'll be greatly miss.

i've like the prettiest boat...its so colourful...
i've a white hull.
red outhaul.
yellow/black tiller and tiller ex.
green tapes on my rudder.
blue downhaul.
blue life jacket.
purple mainsheet and traveller.

my rainbow....

the worst thing is it's sold to Pong pao ling.
gosh....she's like our -out of age group- enemy
argh.... i've a long history with her man...
maybe i'll start rambling another day.

for now... i just miss my nooblet.
the boat that both he and i loved so very much.
sobz......

i was so tempted to "kope" one sail back.
the one with 115 printed on it.
used to be my sail....Long time ago.
wanted to use it as a curtain.
hahah...and i was told i was crazy.

i miss my sailors too.
i shall blog more about it another day.
for now..let me mourn....

thanks for coming to help.
you are such a sweetie

i'm just so mad with my mom.
i'm just so fed-up with her.
i'm just so PISSED off.

just leave me alone.
Fucking leave me alone.


sometimes.. i really wonder why i even exist.
i've been such a klutz today.
bumping into everybody in town.
tripping...almost falling off the escalator.

now..
i really wish my klutz-ness would kill me.
like maybe i'll trip when i'm crossing e road?
and a car comes along?

then i wouldnt have to feel the way i am now.


would i be miss if i'm gone?

Sam (the other girl working with me) and i have decided to do our work really slowly today.
so as to keep ourselves occupied...
so we are both like surfing the net...checking ebay...
haha....this is slack.
lurve it.
taking our own sweet time to type.
sipping our nice cup of coffee and tea...

speaking bout the tea...
bought it from this stall...this indian uncle...
who like earns 30 k a month just by selling coffee, tea, milo..etc.
it's just those push cart stall....
but he sets it up like a mini cafe...with like those starbucks umbrella.
and its call Teh Tarik PTE LTD.
gosh.....i bet it can be a HOLDINGS soon.

so see.....it doesnt neccessary mean you gotta like get a degree and all before you can earn big bucks.
just make good coffee man.
and sell them at shenton way...
working people loves coffee and tea man...
just look at the queue that uncle gets everyday...

man....but his drinks are tasty..yummy and thick.
and its not ex...like 1.20 for like a venti size you get at starbucks...
totally worth it.

i wanna sell coffee too.$$



its the weekend tmr....
yeah....badminton time.

so glad "my" laptop's back.
i was stoning too much before lunch cause someone needed it at like took it for like the whole morning.
so i was left with no com to do data entry.
sob....stoning kills at times.

gonna type at a slower pace today.
cause 1. there's is no more cases for us to enter.
2. i dun wan more to come. so gotta look busy.
3. gotta give the boss sometime to review more files.

hahah....when he opened the door to check on us.
he was happy and sad.....guess why?


i've been cooped up indoors since after interschools...
which was in july??
gosh...i'm sooo fair now.
cant wait for sat to come.
NSC here i come.

i need the sun.

my pretty sandals is spoilt
all thanks to the past 2 days rain.
sigh.
i'm sad.

half an hour to end of work.
hurry hurry....
i wanna go home and zZzzZzzzz...

at work now...
typing and typing.
sigh.
the only good thing about working is that i get paid for my work.
paid more.

and i just realized i'm not earning $72 a day...
but $64.....
sob............
its 8 bucks diff...
haha...i'm such a cheapo.
but i'm broke.
so blame me.

i'll not wanna work at shenton way when i start working...
as in after U...
it's jus crazily bombarded with humans.
*winks*


i'm in love with shoe shopping..

gotta change my blogskin again.
cause the previous one died on me...
=(

shopping yesterday was great.

and i ended buying heels of about 3 inches -i'm crazy-
a nice brown tube.
a black skirt from toss
and an esprit pink tee.

i'm turning freaking girly i know.
and i'm also freaking broke.

baby ended up buying the skirt for me.
cause he likes it... so ya.
and he fairly well knows if he doesnt buy it for me...
i probably wouldnt get it myself.


just when i was feeling at my most broke point.
my mom told me i should start paying for my own hp bills.
dotzzzzzzzzzzzz........

i'm sad.

i did something stupid today

that is to cab when i'm already so damn broke.


man...
i'm sad...
i'm just so sad...

i can hardly buy things i want to buy
cause i'm just so damn broke.

and to top that up...
i havent shopped for a damn long time already can?
ARGH.


anyway...
i'm just so glad exams are over.
life can never feel better than this.
carefree. pure bliss.

things i wanna do

cont....

10. learn keel boat.
11. watch lotsa movies.
12. i dunno..............................................................



mr peh said this the other day before econs mcq and drq..
"don't fail too badly ok? get an O can already, please don't get a F!"

man....

it's all finally over....
yeah...
but geog wasnt easy.
again.
cambridge is seriously out to hunt us down and kill us this year.

sigh.
but its over.
so i shouldnt think about it.

i was damn freaking happy when i saw the clock showing 11.
heh....i was like grinning.....
that's it....
no more studying till a long while.

anyway....found a job that pays well.
yeah...double happiness.
8 bucks an hour.
not fanstatic rate but good enough to keep me happy for now.
and the boss is really nice...
he said i could like take leaves anytime i want and all.
just make sure i let him know beforehand.
- cause he believes that people our age should be enjoying life and the hardwork should be subjected to people of his age-

cool.
but its gonna be fairly mundane i guess.
but the idea of it being a law firm just makes things sound a whole freaking lot better.
he was like filling me on the case they are handling....
cool. seriously. cool.

my room's in a mess.
but i dun think i'll be packing it till the weekend.
hmm....
lemme think....wad do i wanna do now?

life seems meaningless.


at this very moment.

5 down and 4 to go.
YESH......... i'm half way there.*yeah*


just gave up going to the movies with baby over studying at home.
cant believe i actually finally chose to stay home and study....
but i guess its the better choice...
i can play in a week's time....
so i should better put in the extra hard work now and make little sacrifices...
before i regret it later.


but i'm still feeling a little sad...

had a small disagreement with him last night...
and i really din like the how he made me felt....
it really aint my fault that my mom is so restrictive.
or maybe it is...........
too much bad stuffs in sec school i guess.

sigh.......i hate spoiling people's mood.
and i hate being angry with him.
almost blurted out stuffs that i know its just a fit of anger....
but words said can never be retreated...




just've been so foul tempered lately.
and its just accentuates the guilt i've in me.



sometimes just feel that i make people's life unpleasant.
and me walking into their life's are just their sheer bad luck.

yewteng told me this a while ago...

"my teacher said the human geog will probably be hard. so be prepared k? good luck!"

@#!!!@#$#%@!

goodness....how worst can this get?!!?

wad is freaking wrong with cambridge??!!!
why are they tormenting our poor little minds?

we are just TEENagers who just wanna enjoy our life?
but seriously..........wad have they done to help.
life's a nightmare.

hadn't been having a good 3 days.
finally able to catch my breath....
headaches are awful.


my whole world came crashing down when i faced the maths paper today.
wad the hell was that all about?

geog yesterday wasnt fantastic either.

i feel so defeated.

but i did my best.
and all i can do now is hope for the best.

things i wanna do after the 17 nov.

1. go get a tan
2. get my driving license
3. get my powerboat license.
4. sail
5. shopping.
6. clear my room. burn my books.
7. lose my FATS.
8. earn more $$$.....so maybe i can go to a freaking slimming center.
9. probably and hopefully plan a nice holiday.

exam blues..............

i was feeling a little confident for my geog....
that was until i decided to look thru the previous years A level questions...

den i realized how bloody screwed i am.



i doubt i can answer those questions under exams conditions...
and the drqs are seriously rather tough.

i'm feeling so so uncertain now.
that sickening feeling in my stomach is back again.

everything just piles up...
and now...i think i'll flunk maths too....


could things get any worst?

my mom just gave me a whole load of excuses on not letting go overseas myself after my exams
damn it.
something about its dangerous.
i'm just so annoyed when she gets paranoid over the slightest things

i cant be bothered to argue with her now.

we'll talk about it after my A's.


which would be over in 2 weeks.

running a flu now.
body temp's a little off...
and i cant stop sneezing.


did i mention that A's is in like 5 days.


how great can it get.

tired out...........

exactly one more week to my first paper for the A's


feel just a little more prepared today.
spent the whole afternoon at baby's clubhouse studying with xf and jess.
with certain extent of assistance for les
managed to complete last year's maths paper...
seriously hope i can get an A for maths...

anyway...
baby just "send" me home.
that is...he drove me home...
plus a little more...-note the ""-

i think he's a pretty good driver.
i'll prob rate him 8.5 out of 10.
yupz....
he just needs to be a teeny weeny more confident.

woke up early this morning to have prata breakfast with the gang at casurina...
but the nice stall was not open...
-we happily forgot it's THEIR holiday-
oops...
so we just had to make do with the stall next door...
which....dint really serve that nice prata...
but....BURP~!



i love yesterday.
and i really hope there's more to come.


which i really doubt so.

i realized last night...

i really miss my class.
never really thought that i would miss them as much as i would be now.


but i do.
study hard my dears.....

went to novena this morning..
and shopped around novena square after mass.
bought a nice white tee from espirit....
nice...i like it....

rushed down to tanglin cc for my badminton game.
damn....its been long since i last used so much energy....

but 2 hours plus of badminton rocks man.
the feeling of pespiring and all that body heat in you sure makes one feel alive.

played with CS...his gf adele...and his twin bros....whom they call "babies"
i think its such a cute way of calling them....
since they are already like in sec school...
the youngest in the family i supposed.

more badminton games for me.
anytime.

it's less than 10 days to THE EXAM.
and yet...

i still dun feel the stress i ought to be feeling

it's weird how this time round i really dun feel the pre-exams blues
and to think that the A's is prob one of the most impt exam in my life..

i cant figure out what is wrong with me this time round.
but it's really really not right.

i've never felt so at ease about any exams
not even my O's
even though i felt confident i would do fine for it.

to make things worst....
i'm not even that confident for my A's
at all.

i just feel so un-motivated now.
so un-stress.

my frens thinks its good that this time round i dun feel stress
cause i everytime i'm stress... i screwed up.
but i really need a good push to start this 100 m race.

now.



going for badminton tmr.

managed to dragged myself out of bed this morning at 8 and be a good girl and clean up the house a little before making my way down to gardens to study with edgar

i'm so glad that boy asked me out to study in the morning...
cause if i din go...i'll be wasting my morning at home...
doing i dun even noe wad....

so i managed to do a paper 1 and paper2 for maths...
which supposed usually takes a total of 6 hours.
since i finished it btw 930-130 including breakfast.
i guess i had a fruitful morning~!!!


biggie breakfast was yummy.
till i saw the freaking nutrition info on the paper they put on the tray.

damn it...
i realized i was like consuming how much cholestrol...sodium...saturated fat...
and it totally made me just wanna stop eating.


speak about enjoying my meal.
#@!~!@$%@@@###@!!!......

went for consultation with mr peh yesterday.
a trip back to school only made me realize that time is running out fast.




finally feeling the little worries and stress that i should be feeling a long time ago.
barely 2 weeks left.



and i suddenly feel that i'm not confident at all.
i'm only praying hard now the papers are not tough.



i'm scared. i finally am.




to you who made an effort to give me a call last night.
thanks for you concern.
dun fall sick too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY~!!


woke up slightly earlier today cause i was all ready to go to school to book my consultation slot before going over.
but my laziness got over me and i just called fidelis to help me booked it.
feel extremely lazy to travel all the way down to school just to book a slot.

opp cost doesnt justify my actions.


still so full from yesterday.
burp.
doubt i'm taking any meals today.


went for high tea with his family.
no joke....i could really feel the fats multiplying inside me.
met up with the gang in the evening...
it was supposed to be a surprise...
but as i said right from the beginning...
it wouldnt work... cause he's just too alert for that.
anyway...there were far too many loopholes larz.


it wasnt well-planned nad well-carried out.
haha.
dinner at swensen's with earthquake as the cake.
yummy.........
den decided to visit alley bar for a drink.
it was a nice night.



no doubt.



i certainly dun feel a sense of urgency.
and it's getting worrisome.
why am i not getting fussed up over my A's
i need the stress to push me harder.


i'm too slow.
and time is running out.

when i saw the number of days left.
my heart sank.



but i really cant study much.

i think i'm finally able to finish my econs tys mcq by tonight~!!
oh yesh~!!!!!!!!!!
i hope i can get full marks for my A's mcq...
den that could save my life from my terribly disgusting awful horrendous ESSAYS.
seriously...
econs essays are the downfall of my A's.


i need consultations.
lots of them.


mcq tonight.
and hopefully 2 drq 1 case study and 2 essays tmr.
nothing is impossible.



but it's painfully tiring.

about 2 more weeks to the A's
THE freAKING A's
i spent the whole entire week studying econs.
but i still know nothing.
no kidding there.
everything is still in a mess.
the problems and policies.
sigh.


honestly...
they are supposedly quite common sensical.
and i know that i roughly know my stuffs here and there.
i can crap out verbally..
but asking me to write it out in essay?
i think i'll prob flunk it bad.


sigh...
i really dun wanna study anymore.

pictures from the last day of school

went for dimsum buffet with andy, viv lijie..and her fren.. yesterday.
it din turn out so bad afterall...
although i was pretty sure there were a few awkward moments.
maybe i'm just being over sensitive.


i was freaking full after that..
to think i already feel that i'm a pau myself....-white and fat-
and i had to eat dimsum~!@!??
grrrrrrrrrrr......


went shopping after that...and xf came along.
heh.....*winks*
anyway....it soon became a pretty big group...
as jess joined us too.
anyway the girls decided to go the "B-heaven"
which really wasnt the best place to go for the guys..
but they were all such sweeties to tag along.
if i'm a guy...i know i wouldnt.


baby got me the pair of levis that i wanted all along.
i'm freaking happy...although i still wished he din have to spent his money on me.
i could have got it myself....could i?


i doubt i would. even if i could.
i just wouldnt pay so much for stuffs for myself.
i just wouldnt.
but anyway...thanks dear...i lurve it


oh yesh..
we finally got down to buying THE ADIDAS jacket for him.
which cost me quite a bit.
i guess i'm broke for the rest of the month.
the freaking jacket took like more than half my allowance?
goodness.
hahha......but i'm still glad we bought it.
cause he looks great in it.


i searched high and low for it can.
and i was so sad that they only came in the girls sizes when i finally found it and the pacific plaze outlet....yesh..the outlet with the damn ex adidas stuffs.
heh...but haha....he's rather small so he could fit into the largest girl's size.
jess and xf totally talked him into buying it. and it was funny.
those two make lousy sales people man.


went to play mahjong at leslie's house after dat.
i won i won i won~!!!


i made it home in 15 mins after leaving his place.
which is really fast.
i know i stay fairly near him.
like about a 10 mins drive.
but considering the fact that i had to change buses..its pretty fast.
but i had to like RUN... for like more than half my journey to catch the buses.
i seriously almost died of asthma last nite.

it was the last day of school yesterday.
officially.
that's cause my class has declared last day of school since a long time ago.


anyway..
had farewell assembly...which i din feel really sad about.
instead i was having fun with shuying and jiefang...and partially dozing off to sleep during the speeches...
i probably aint as attached to the school as i tot i would be.


had civics which was like the SHORTEST civics ever.
i guess she doesnt have much to say us...
which too was... a very sad thing.
too much explosives btw the two parties i guess.


oh wellz...
my darling class decided to rush down to the cafe to have the reception.
ha..and for the FIRST time..
my class was first.
hahah.....it so funny...when it comes down to food and slack..
i guess nothing beats my class.


so glad to meet my class for like the last time..
cause the next time is gonna be a long time.
i'm just so so upset that yeanling wasnt feeling well and din turn up in school
miss that girl like crazy...
she's just so bubbly and high at times... she's cute.
miss you girl
if only you came...den we could go crazy snapping pictures again.


met mr ng after dat...
and he gave us his 100m dash pep talk.
geez....
he's the teacher that seriously made an impact in my life in jc.
in fact...my time spent in sailing is the time that i really enjoyed most thruout my jc days.
i'm gonna miss my team. no doubt about that.
although the feeling was a lot stronger one year ago.



i'll miss school.
but not for the school itself.
but for the friends i met.

met my girls yesterday.
stead..lijie and viv dear~!!
life has never been greater...
really miss those days with them.
the st.nicks days


we went shopping for shoes. clothes. everything.
and had dinner at fish and co where we shared like one seafood platter and one fish and chips.
and we had a long session discussing our girly future...
and trying dear vivi to join OUR side.
haha....i realized my stead and i are pretty much on the same wavelength.
maybe that's why we're steads..~! haha.


i made a fool out of myself over dinner.
but that's all i'll say.


ended up at esplanade to sit and enjoy the scenery..
take photos...and talk.
but we were like engulfed and mortified by the horrible smoke...
puff puff puff....
smoke chokes man.
so glad we can take a shelter from the smoke free bus-stops.
smoking should be ban~!!


miss my girls already.
cant wait for our scuba diving trip
-that's if it even happens-





tomorrow
tomorrow...
i love ya tomorrow.....

in a span of about 6 hours.
i drank like about 10 bowls of soup.
broke my previous record of 7.
hahah...
but now...
i keep having to go to the toilet...
oops. too much liquid.

spent the whole day doing vectors.
but wth...
i still dun feel confident eh.
man...wad's the point in doing.




i only realized just now that it had been almost a month since i last saw him.
but...he's coming back~!!
dum dee dee dum.......
*hops around*

i miss you.~!!!
cant wait. come back come back~!!

being a good girl today.
i finally appeared in school
worrying that my 2 days "disappearance" isn't a very nice thing to do.

but guess what.
my ct wasnt there to take attendance...
cause she prob tot my whole class was gonna go MIA again.
ha.....

so my pretty babe and i had to join A42. which wasnt a very long line anyway.
haha.....
den ms wong came up to me...cause we had GP tut for the first period- i din even noe-
she looked at me....and asked..

"so do you have any questions to ask?"

me:"eh no?"

msw: "i tot so too....how to have tut like that? one on one? if the rest comes and want to see me.. den u give me a call.." -shakes head and walk away-


ha...welcome to my life in my class.
hahahahha......told cha my class rocks.


couldnt find mr ho to amend my cca record and so i resorted to sms-ing him.
damn...i should have just done that in the 1st place and not go to school.

wouldnt let my travelling time to school be a waste of time...
so decided to hurry book a consultation slot with ms tay...
and wanting joined in again.
but today was good.....cause we had so much time to work with. hee.




he called to say he din make it.
it was bittersweet.
really hoped he could pass.
but at the same time....
i'm just so glad and happy he's coming back soon.

decided not to go to school again.
i din make full use of my time at home though.
only managed to do like 3 chapters of maths yesterday.
isnt too productive.
but it beats going to school.....cause i have no idea was i did in school on monday.
prob staring at psa building.


but i need to go to school by tmr
to get my cca records amended.
shucks....

din go to school today.
it's just pointless.
its better off to stay home and study.
den again....
that's IF i can be disciplined enough.



yesterday...
they started making noise about our language and the things we said in our blogs.
we werent maligning people anymore... in fact some of us din even start it in the first place.
so quit finding fault with blogging.



wish u would hurry come back

went out for dinner with my class yesterday...
and attendance was almost full...
surprised~!!!
it's hardly that everybody would turn up...
and ya...yesterday was FRIDAY....
but my class attendance was ZERO in school.
heh...my class rocks when it comes to "being absent from school"

mr peh joined us for dinner...
he's really a funny guy.
he's so sacarstic at times that it's just hilarious.
used to think that he's the scary and unreasonable teacher.
due to past encounters.
but after this year....i had a 180 degree change in my impression of him.
and to simply put it....think he's a great teacher...
in comparison to all the other teachers that teach me.

heh..had this crazy photo taking session...
and my pretty darling wanting totally cracked me up...
she's just this pretty and naive babe... similar to that of a blond bimbo...
but she's more cheena.... a bimbo with brains. -lots of brains-


she was like eating lots and lots of cockels....

me: "stop eating so much of that....its high cholestrol."

wt: "its ok...i took jab liao"

me: "huh? jab? erm....jab is for hepatitis B dear."

wt: "oh it is??"

ahahhaahha.....she's just amusingly silly. seriously.
but...she's damn smart....book smart.
so i cant say she's dumb.

but wth??
you took a jab and dunno wad it is for....
and its for cholestrol control??
cool....den no one would die of heart attack due to their blood clogging up in their fat filled veins.

we had this other conversation arguing over diabetes.
i shan't say much here.
but goodness.....the innocence of my classmates sometimes really surprise me.
but i still love my class.




had a small sailing gathering today.
and we watched this STUPID M-18 show at cine.
seriously.....just when i tot boogeyman was bad.
devil's rejects is even worse.
grace was right....it has no plot, no horror. nothing.
just a little gory.... alot of f****** sex...literally.
every sentence had at least 2 F-word.

think the only redeeming factor of the show is the pretty girl.
or maybe when you're bored....count the number of F-word they say..
which i can easily say a 100 min.

WAD KIND OF SHOW IS THAT????????~!!!!
i cant believe we spent $57 bucks on that show.
goodness....
MDA probably allowed it to pass and be shown to cheat poor movie-goers like us.
lost and blur teenagers.
i feel robbed.....off my 10 bucks.

how could 8days rate it 3/5 stars?????


i managed to buy my sandals.....
la dee dee dum.....
i'm happy.

on a happier note today...after yesterday.
i finally passed geog.
like BOTH physical and human.
obviously the latter is better done.
but only like 4 of us in class passed the physical part
so yesh...
i'm damn proud of myself now.

but a D aint too great a grade.
managed an E for econs
and O for maths.

i did improve...
but i definately need to work extra extra hard this 5 weeks.
5 WEEKS?!???!@#@@!

ok...dat's fast...
and me in my own world JUST realized it today.

since it's the last tutorial of our JC life...
Mr Peh started telling us about getting back our results NEXT YEAR.
and what he would do to "haunt" us before it.
like sms-ing us 2 days before and say "2 days more"
and gradually counting down till the night before...
"sweet dreams..sleep well......ending off with FFF"

hahhahaha....he's such a joker.
not taking into the account that we HAVEN'T even take our A's
and he's talking about getting back our results.
geezz....but he did scare me a little.
think i'll totally freak out before getting back results.

wadeva...i should just quit thinking so far and just be a mugger toad now.
i wanna get my A for econs. -i dun believe i cant-
just so as to thank him.....


heh...that probably means that i'm aiming for straight As....
i'm crazy.



8 months. love.
and yup. i'm damn proud of it.
ah ha..~!

i just feel so jaded.


i really you were right beside me now

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one downY
ou sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day

The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you knowT
hat you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most

my mom just made me feel so guilty for not taking the initiative to start a conversation with my cousin.
said that being the older cousin...
i've the responsibility to talk to her.
damn it.
i'm only 2 years older.
ok...wadeva...


i'm just an anti-social bitch.




it's gonna be MONDAY tmr.
that means i gotta go BACK to school.
QUIT slacking and "worming" around
and get down to STUDYING.

ok....that's gonna take lotsa determination to do so..
cause i'm such a procrastinator.





my daddy told me today that he's not gonna pay for my driving lessons and i gotta pay for it myself.
OK~!!!! den thou shall not go take my driving license.
*winks*

i'm totally alright with taking public transport around.
plus my baby can drive....-i like to be driven, coz i'm LAZY-

and even if i were to get my license..
i wouldnt have a car to drive...
so....cons more than pros.
so unless my daddy forks out my fees....
i'm not gonna learn.
HA.~!

i miss my boy....

Happy birthday bro~!!

went back to school today.
and it sucks.
argh.
i ended school at 1015 cause ms wong was absent.
and yet...i was stuck in school till 1245.
i hate this freaking rule that we cant leave school till 1~!!
den again...
i tink i'll just skip school altogether liao.
heck.

on a happier note..
met lijie and sera yesterday..
after like times and times of postponing...
finally.
i love my girls man.

went to this place at the new marina square..
changing appetite...
and had a wonderful and fun time.

marina is like a food heaven now.
yummy food all over.
*slurp*

sera dear gave me a ride home after that.
ha..no comments though.





miss my boy who's like gone for only a week~!

went to send grace off at the airport.
and had a small gathering with a few of the sailors.
sigh...
it was just a sad sad scene?
cant imagine if i was the one who have to go overseas.
alone.
study alone.


anyway...3 months will pass soon enough.
den we can have the popiah party..


thanks ros!!....
for giving me a lift home.

it is so annoying when your plans are thwart.
esp by my mom.
it's getting so frustrating~!
2 days already.

f***
i should just heck her and go out all i want.
i'm pissed.


3 days...and i hardly did anything fun.
wad the hell..



i miss you like crazy.

my silly daddy keeps pestering me over his new V3....
do this for me...
do that for me...
why like that?? why like this??
change the function for me....

i'm like....
come on man...give me time~!!
let me figure it out.
it's a NEW phone..... for a reason.

and he's like....
but ANDY has it too..
dun you know how to use it already?
*bangs my head*


fathers.........
welcome to my life.

saw this g-force one plane on apprentice just now.
it works on zero gravity.
which means...you get to float around like an astronaut in outer space.
even though you're only still flying within the atmosphere.
weightless.
cool.

i wanna go on that too.
geez...if only....
that's like the closest thing i can get to to my dream.

the week sure passed faster den i tot it would be.
but i'm so glad its over.

would A's be worst?
i think so.



andy called me this morning.
once at freaking 7+ am
and i missed the call.
like by a ring. DAMN.
i missed his call~!!!!

but seriously dear....it's 7am...on a SATURDAY.
AFTER my prelims....
I NEED MY SLEEP.....
haha....

i got another call at 10~!!!
yeah....*smiles*
sorry about the fact that i just woke up and sound so so drowsy.
but thanks for totally waking me up.

i managed to clear my room in record time today.
yipee....its like nice and neat now.

it wont last long though.
once i start revising for A's in a week.
it's gonna be a freaking pile of mess again
but for now....i think i did a great job

its so weird that when you're shopping and this good looking salesman comes up to you
flash that smiles and that cheeky grin
hoping you would stop and listen to wad they have to say.

no doubt it is a good way to attract my attention.
no doubt they are cute.
but seriously...
uh uh. NO....Nnoooooooooooooooo~!


went bugis with viv
and wei joined us later.
jie couldnt make it in the end.
so did sera. sigh.
disappointment there.
but my two girls were fun enough.
viv and her usual quirky acts.
and wei....looking gorgeous day by day.


bugis was nice. bugis street was exceptionally nice.
but just wasnt in the shopping mood.
when you are short of cash.
you just cant enjoy shopping as much.
damn.

met grace and cheryl for dinner at coffee club.
mudpie was sinful yet yummilicious.
talks about studying overseas.
boyfriends.
maids.

i'm glad i'm bound in singapore for now.
i'm glad i've no intentions to studies overseas.
and i'm glad i have you.

happy birthday edwin~!!


its finally over~!
for now.
the worst has yet to come.


haha....it seems like e topics i predicted would come out did come out.
agribusiness. ecotourism. casino. migration.
smart ar...?


but the smarter thing is i chose not to study them.
*rounds of applause*
=)



ok...i'm starving now....
gotta go meet viv and jie for lunch soon.

happy birthday yewteng


the good thing right now is....
my last paper ends in about 18 hours.

the bad news...
i'm down with a slight fever.

and.....
I HAVENT FINISH STUDYING FOR IT.
in fact...
i'm not even HALF WAY done.

econs was pretty fine today.
only that my mind wasnt functioning well enough
and i misread a couple of mcqs.
heh......i know i'm smart.


i finally understood how it feels when "nothing goes into ur mind"
totally. well understood.
and did i mention? it's a terrible feeling.
you cant sleep. cant eat. cant study.
sweeeet..



miss you loads

econs paper 3 was a little screwed.
i'm just very weak in econs.

geog wasnt too bad....but i seriously hope i could ace it.
i did my best no doubt.
panicking and shivering before the paper wasnt the best way to deal with it
but i was so glad he came to pick me up to school.

maths is ok.



i din expect things to feel so bad.
at least not so soon.
the feeling of missing someone so much is really indescribable.
and i din think i would feel it so hard.



had a hard time falling asleep last night.
miss you.

tmr's gonna be the start of THE FREAKING PRELIM week.

damn it.
one paper everyday.
and i'm like not fully prepared for any freaking day.

i really dunno wad to freakning do now.


doesnt help that andy's leaving on tues.


how am i gonna survive the week.....................
sigh.

i think i gotta resort to sleeping on the floor tonight.


cause there's freaking no space on my comfy bed.
its totally strewn with all my notes.


prelims. ARGH.

i'm on the edge.
on the verge to just get myself crazy~!

it seems that no one ever believes abby when she says she CANT remember anything and she WONT DO WELL.
i guess everybody just has this huge assumption that she's a smart girl.
and all they will say is...
"dun worry...you can do well wan lor...just crap..you're a smart girl..you can do it."


den...when the results are out...
everybody will just say...
" why like that....better study harder...you can do it wan lor. work harder k"
den....they would all give me that....-i'm very very disappointed in you- face.



seems like i give pple this impression that i'm a really clever girl
who can like ace her exams without studying much.
one who is like.... good in piano...music.
blah blah blah....

but i'm not....

maybe i'm just street smart.
that's why i look smart.
but book smart is definately not me.

maybe that's why i should be in poly.

spare my language here...
but i'm damn bloody drained.
mentally drained.

finally finished READING thru entire 2 years of econs.
i emphasize reading....
which means....i havent touch..
1) tutorials revision
2) essay outlines
3) doing mcq -which i noe is very very impt-
4) doing case study.

whatever it is.
i'm freaking dead. i know.
gonna do maths anyway.
more confident for that....even though i think the grades wouldnt be much of a diff.

did i mention?
i havent completed human geog.
or even started on physical geog
*big smile*....knife pls...

ok...i barely started on geog....finished like a couple of chapters say 3-4 weeks ago??
i'm sure they are still in my head.

oh man.

dreams are the best thing the mind could do.


i want dreams to come true.
had this wonderful dream of someone special last night.
wanna sleep and dream again.


i'm barely done with studying though.
so sleeping gotta be the last thing on mind.
=P


rebecca was out last night.
a waste of such a pretty girl.
why keep brittany.~!!!
yucks.

love my boy for waking up early to accompany me to church.



today's a sad sad day.
i spoilt my birthday present.
sob.

i love you so very much.

things seemed to have turn a little sour lately.
it just doesnt seemed the same.
maybe its just the stress.
maybe its just me being over-sensitive.

whatever it is.
just wanna knock it all out of my mind.
and just study hard.
*knocks hards*

but it just keeps tossing up and down my heart and mind.
and boy does it hurt.

i just hope everything's alright.

just when i felt confident enough to do well enough for maths....

sigh.
killer paper.

den again i expected it din i?

oh man.
wad kind of paper is that.
ARGH.

anyway...gotta like spent two hours to fold the clothes later.
that big huge mountain of clothes.
although i swear it seemed bigger when i left the house.
maybe the bottoms got really compressed??

oh well.

weekend wasnt too bad.
went to my cousin's chalet...and my aunt decided to ask andy along.
geezz.....
anyway....someone decided to bribed my little princess....- with a swimming pool at his place-
and guess wad....that little niece of mine decided she wanted to follow him home.
goodness....
she's so easily cheated.
haha.....
she actually cried and insisted she wanted to go home with andy.
no daddy no mummy...just andy.....
goodness gracious~!
she din even want me.

anyway...had gp yesterday.
i actually finished my paper in exceptionally fast time.
cool
let's just hope i cant break the C5 barrier...

now...i'm waiting for my stupid maths paper to come.
gotta prepare to go to school for my 3 hour paper soon
i'm scared~!!
i'm petrified~!!
i'm so afraid dat when i see the paper later....
everything will just like.....blast out of my brains.
den that's it.

the end.

itz been one hell of a long week
i gotta say i actually managed to turn myself into a mugger toad.
and start doing lots and lots of maths.

but i hardly feel i learnt much.
it seems like everything just comes out there and then.
i wish myself good luck.

i doubt i can pass paper one for maths.
differentiaiton.
integration.
vectors.
3D.
functions.
complex.

stuffs i'm not confident in.
which is like almost 3/4 the paper?
sigh....

stopped studying since 12.
just cant go on no more.
i'll have to continue later.

grace and cheryl came back to school today
miss them.
cab home with ms tan after that.
it was on the way.
and i was damn scared.
somehow....i just dun like being around ms tan.
stupid pple with poor results. like me.....dun really wanna be around with an f maths teacher.
-smart teachers-

going out with my baby tmr.
*smile*

its one hell of a draggy day today.
came back early and i still gotta mug for maths
mugger toad i've become.

i dreamt of maths formula today.
geez

4 days.
damn.


i freaking put on weight AGAIN~!!!!

little princess came over today.
kinda blew my plans on studying in the afternoon.
she's sound asleep now.

i'm just waiting for her to create havoc again.

a nice boy willingly gave me a ride all the way down to bukit timah.
otherwise...i prob would have to cab down.
thanks to my mom nagging and being angry
again.
anyway...thanks....you're QUITE a safe driver.

had lunch with andy and his family.
it was just....
nice.
but i'm damn fat now.

cab home in the end.
14 bucks.
f***
i'm freaking broke...and i just spent 14 bucks cabbing home
damn it.

anyway....went grocery shopping with my parents after dinner.
i love grocery shopping.
esp when i'm not the one forking out the money.
kinda bought enough food to settle my week. -in school and for studying-
yeah.

din study much.
i was tired. and homework is piling.

just bought my bro a really early birthday present.
and my mommy got jealous and started nagging again.
about wad a tough life she got.
hahaha....

i'll get her the nice bag i saw.
soon.
but i'm really broke.
as in...
negative.
deficit.
minus minus minus~!!!!!

my class finally gave in all to all the shit we've been getting from our teacher.
kinda had an argument today with her.
a pretty big one.
meiping and peiwen sure flared up big time.
i was shocked no doubt.

home visit was fun.
but my legs are aching from chasing the guy.
he's seriously over-hyper.

met bing over dinner.
he was complaining about the whole thing of VS going co-ed.
i gotta agree....
it's a really bad idea.

129 years of tradition.
you cant just change it to a co-ed just because of a freaking new IP
which therefore need more students.
it just doesnt make sense.
129 years of VS boys are sure gonna flip.
den again....the first 50 years or so are prob dead.
but pls...dun make it a co-ed school.

9 days to prelims.
it's finally on a single digit~!!!

i think i'm losing it.
bear with me.

11 days.
f***

blogging just isnt the same when u cant rant out everything and anything u want.
the school's been on it.
again.
some j ones got into shit i guess.
talking about a certain teacher.
whom i'm quite familar with.

seriously...
no one will blog bad stuffs about you if you werent creating an "impact"
in their life.
it just gets a little annoying when everything little thing you do
you're being controlled by a higher body.

will it work better if we start ranting out straight at your face
instead of "talking behind your back"
geez.....get a life.
no one even outrightly stated who it was.

a blog is no doubt not a private diary as its published on the world wide web.
but everyone is entitled to his freedom of opinions to a certain extent.

just dun go to the extend of writing out the NAME you are against.
how would anybody know.
seriously....wad is wrong with you guys.

i better think twice of wad i have to say.
or else i'll be next.

the tv messaging system flashed a big huge 12
in my face the whole day.
12 days to prelims.
and i'm barely half way done.

i finally got my sailing photos. wheeeee...
love the background. love the sea.
but it's not my sail..not my nooblet.~!!

someone sure knows his way around the opposite sex.
that's it.
my mommy definately likes him better than us.
we happily din get my mom anything for her birthday.
only intending to treat her to dinner...
and someone bought a bouquet of roses for her.
how can??

haha...
happy birthday mommy~!

prelims is starting in two weeks and a little.
sian.
i just dun feel like studying again.

badminton tmr...yeah
i think i'm growing fat.
bloop.

malaysian cars should be ban from singapore.
or at least roads surrounding the driving centres.

because of a stupid malaysian car.
i dunno when i could get my ride.

poor dear.
forget it.
just try again ya.

met my girls over dinner yesterday.
and a game of mahjong at sera's place.
miss them so much.


school started of pretty bad today
with a certain lit teacher screaming at the arts faculty.
as usual.
tracy decided to dare her.
and seems like she's gonna start taking attendance for MY class.
WTF.

missed civics caused we all assumed there wasn't
assumptions are bad.
apparently she got really mad and informed silas about it.
damn it.
gotta meet him at 4 tmr.
the whole class.
Wth....we din mean to skip civics.
it was just a freaking communication breakdown.



a nice lunch and long bus ride home.
however.
totally made the day a whole lot better.


18 days to go.

woke up fairly early this morning (considering the fact it's national day and wad hell time i slept last night)
met dear and his parents for breakfast (or was it brunch)
i really love cartel breakfast.
i dun think i would mind having it every weekend.
yummy.

was supposed to study when i reached home.
but i just gave in to my already tired body.
falling asleep and waking up every half an hour or so.
and this routine lasted me till 3

ok.
it's definately time to study at least a little.
19 more days to prelims.
no joke.

just came back from a really full meal with mr ng.
seoul garden with the sailors was fun.

and mr ng gave us a nice sailor table mat.
hahah

i still couldnt find my little heart.

but someone made me a new one.
*smile*


sigh....its been a pretty lousy weekend.
just wish i could turn back time and make it a little better.

losing something significant to you is just a sad thing.
i still cant find it.
and i probably cant find it anymore.
i'll try the LT first thing tmr.
hope it's there.

where's my little heart.





baby passed his medical.
which means flying off to aus in time to come.

some things should just be left as it is.
there are just this little things dat i chance about
and it makes me question so much about life.

why why why?
i could just feel everything shrinking inside me.

wad have i done to myself?

lurve...u

6 fabulous months.
180 wonderful days.

thanks for everything.
i love you.

exams is just like sailing.
u gotta keep putting in effort throughout the race
not make so many mistakes.
concentrate on your OWN race abby
race is won within...not by looking at how well others are doing..


dont be demoralised.
cos the a's results is the finish..
only then the results matter
until then u will have good and bad results.
just keep working smart.
doing badly now is like doing badly in a regatta in january

sailing hard= studying hard
sailing fast = studying smart
DONT EVER THINK YOU'RE A FAIL STUDENT

singapore papers always make people fail.
but when a level comes u wanna be prepared for CAMBRIDGE questions.
not sajc stuff
keep your mind focused on what u have to do to win okay?
dont get distracted by people or results.

take care abby..
you're always a champ to me la anyways
keep your head up k


jc is tougher than uni
so dont worry.
i got o's an f's too.
i was getting eee for prelims too.
but i never told myself i was stupid ..
what the hell..just study anyway la.....since got no choice.

if u ever get stuck with dilemmas in school
use sailing to help you.


spoken like a coach
with sailing as an analogy.

just went to the playground to relieve my childhood.
it was fun.

i'm at the last of my teenage years and i still act like a kid.
goodness.


vivi...hope u're fine~!!
hugs..

does it hurt alot to cut yourself?

is it true that physical pain can take away wad hurts inside?

i just want the pain to go away.
i dun wanna feel.

failures is the mother of all success.


whoever came up with this is totally bullshit.
i know i'm turning all pesstimistic...
but seriously...blame me.


its all crap when you were younger...your parents tells you that
its ok if you fail...just pick yourself up and you'll succeed.
since when is it true?


at least not for me.


i'm just so tired of picking the pieces up.
if failing means falling down....
i'm very sure my knees are all bruised now.
in fact...i might just shatter every piece of bone in my knee.


how many times do i have to fail before i could succeed.
i cant fail anymore.
i have only one last chance to fail.
just one.


i'm trying hard.
studying hard.
i really am.
believe me.

a certain teacher has this way of making feel as though results is all that matters in life
i mean that is no doubt true.
at least for now....
when my A's is approaching...
results IS ALL that matters.
but seriously.......do you have to make it sound like that?


someone has to tutor his junior.


call me being over sensitive...
but i just dun like the sound of it.

a sweet lil boy came all the way down to my place to have dinner with me.
despite hurting his leg.
i love you for being so silly.
love you for being so sweet.


it's just these little actions that makes you love a person even more.


dinner was great.

got back to school.
only to realized i'm lagging behind by quite a bit.
sigh.


failed my maths by 2 marks.
and i had like tons of careless marks deducted as usual.
sian.


failed human geog.
last in class.
great.
just really hoping i ace my physical part.
wad happened.


got c6 for gp.
lots of room for improvement.
still aiming for my B4 at least.
sigh....is it really that hard.


i happily lost my mommy's sd card too.
512Mb....aint exactly a cheap one to replace.


wad a week.
i hate it.
i'm just feeling down down down.


i miss you.

a job well done...

me anv ven...we won.

i just realized something cool.

http://www.ri.sch.edu.sg/nationalsailing/byclass.htm

that's it man.
i'm never ever gonna apply sunblock on my face
ever again.


my face is like a piece of patchwork now.
white patches here. black patches there.
thanks to the wonderful peels the sunblock gave me.
it's gonna take some time to recover.
dammit.
there's hell nothing i could do to save it now.
at least if you cut your face u noe you could apply cream to make it recover faster.
wad can make your face peel faster??
or like some miracle cream to make the tone the same??
anybody?
help.


my poor face.


how to face the world.


au natural.
is always the best.

a race well sailed.
a race well fought.


to my dearest sailing team~!!!
love you girls...
we won we won~!!!!
we beat MJ.....
we're second.... yeah baby yeah.
wonderful girls.


tied with mj at 54.
but thanks to our greatest 420 sailors.
we broke the tie and won.
jiayi and yulin....you're da girls!..


this is just the way to end our sailing year with a BANG!

to all pple who likes tanning out there..
when research says that the sun is the strongest between 11-3pm
believe it. and take really good care of yourself.
it's no joke to be BAKED under the horrendous scorching sun btw this period.
i tried it today.
its terrible.
you just feel totally dried and fried.


interschool started with a four hour slack
and three races in three hours.
the wind just dun wanna pick up.


i swear i could just punch a hole thru my bow.
frustration.
anger.
annoyance.
just so full of it after race one..


i'm tired burnt and sleepy now.
so i'll continue my HORRIBLE day tmr.


keep it up girls

.

woke up early to go for cartel breakfast.
yummy...
and i spent the next few hours shopping and shopping again.
bought a 3/4s from mango.
gorgeous....
it makes me look taller...
haha....and that's just wad i need.
illusions to make me seem taller....
ha....and now...i've the same bottoms as jess...
my other shopping mate.
the girl who seriously loves shopping.


shoppping with my dear is just so nice.
its just so easy to have someone to pick out nice clothes for you to try.


had to rush down to nsc at about 3.
argh...
in the end we only trained for like 1 hr....
when i could have stayed in town all these while.
talk about opportunity cost.
ya....and weiguo was so "nice"
thanks for wad u said about me.
ouch.


dun worry....i'll make sure i beat ven to prove you wrong.


rush back to town for dinner...
and someone surprised me the wallet i eyed....
lalala......

its finally OVER over...
wheeeeeee......
i'm so happy....geog din seem that bad
cross my fingers hard...
hope i can pass.
i think i can~!!!
yipeeeeeeeee.....


next week....i'm not going to school for the entire week
*laughs*
interschool.
now let's hope we can get second.
oh yeah....light-medium wind pls.
thank you~!

third paper down.
econs was a killer.
din do a 13 mark essay.
totally...first time in my life i TOTALLY din do a question.
jialat.
econs confirm fail.
=p


tmr's geog...
yeah...i'm gonna ace it~!

5 months.
love you

i just love u so much for being so special.


lunch company was great.
thanks dearie.


met alywin this morning....
yawnz....rush all the way down to see him for like 15 mins.
i could have taken my own sweet time. heh.

frustration frustration!!
just tons and tons of it...
only second paper down...maths
i had great confidence in it.
but i just lost it all again.


i lost eight marks....eight freaking marks which i knew how to do...
but at that point of time...
i just fell for the tricky part.
i fell for it.
damn it.


i hate it when i know i can do it
and yet i couldn't.

sera's party was a blast.
i guess meeting up with everybody was really fun.
crapping....verbal bullying...
met jules dear.....and his usual crappy shit...miss him loads.
thanks angelo...for being such a great host..
stayed till late....and took a ten mins walk home. hahah....talk about near...
had a great time...

caught initial D yesterday....
its a rather good show....
i'm not really into this kind of show...
but it was still nice to watch...
maybe cause edison is really cute.
ha....


woke up with a really bad diarrheoa...
been visiting the toilet say 4 times already...
argh....
couldnt bring myself to leave the house to go study with edgar and grace..
gotta go to sera's party later...
so i better visit all the toilet times i have to NOW.

school's starting~!!
it is it is.....grrrrrrrrr.....


yeah....and my dear's holding an office position at cmpb for the next 3 months...
and that's like a 15 mins walk away from school.
which means...i can still get to see him during the weekdays..
yeah yeah......
but that's till he flies to aus....
den....that's like a month...
its ok...i'll be having my A's by then
A's..........ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......


dinner was great on sat...
i want my cartel breakfast though....

took the extra effort to wake up 30 mins after my morning call
and STUDY.
i was struggling btw staying awake and focusing on my notes
geeez.....it's so tough to wake up early nowadays.


met my dearie in the afternoon
and its another day where we spent the whole day shopping with each other.
i just love days like that.
it's a very nice feeling to just spend the entire day with that certain someone.
enjoying each other's company.


everything is short lived though....
block leave will end soon...
and its gonna be back to me and my mundane school life...
and mugging for the freaking A's
which seems to be moving towards me like this huge gigantic wall.


i'm not running towards it.
in fact i havent even finish warming up.
the finishing line is just moving towards me.
FAST pace.

i'm officially down with a flu and cough.



zzzzzzzzz....help...

Happy birthday JesS~!!



it been a nice 4 days...
slacking with my dear...
geez...if only life could always be like that
no sailing. no studying.


i'm sure...


just came back from bbq at andy's place
it was fun and hilarious...
the crazy bunch of peeps...


*sniff*
having a block nose...
how am i gonna sleep tonight...

This.......is my baby.

kisses from my "stead"

pretty babes. love you all.

love you all

i burnt and aching.
sucks...
gotta start mugging again.
cant wait for wednesday to come.

team SAiling

it had been a long week.


had a 5 day regatta....draining.
mentally... for the first 3 days
the wind just wouldnt pick up.
terrible.
AP AP....had to fight a battle with the currents.
the shifting winds. headers...lifters...
game plan game plan....
hot sun. sea sick.... everything
but i gotta thank weiguo...
he is a good coach.....
and he was right....i should be sailing a whole lot better den wad i did for this regatta.
shouldnt be so far behind ven...
he's very right.


4th day was even worst.
the worst of all.
2 races...
one which was strong wind.
couldnt hike out much....was struggling like a poor shit.
and claudia was flying....i could just see her way in front of me....with her boat flat...
and me....almost capsizing everytime i tack. crap.
the other was even more horrendous...
i couldnt start on time.....
i started like 10 mins late...
but i did sail well for it...just a terrible start. sigh. and that did screw me up real bad.
it's just disgusting. as weiguo would say.
but the day ended on a nice note....
when he came down.... and sailed my boat back with me...
thanks for coming down dear.....it was really sweet.


today was the best...
i sailed the best race in my life.
i had the prettiest start ever... first boat off and flying.
if only weiguo was there to see it...den he would stop saying my starts are killing him.
but....i guess i gotta thank you....for nagging at me the night before.
last race was gorgeous too....finished off sixth.
a great battle fought.
and hence....we beat MJ...yes...YEAH...we did it!!!...
nice one ven. nice one grace.
thanks for coming down too....grace ros zhenfang.
a big huge thanks for being there.....


had dinner with his family too.
one word.
fun.


i'm just tired now....sleeping time

just cut my hair.
hope i did the right thing.
haha.....

i'm stuck at home.
gotta study extra harder before my 5 days race
i dun really wanna sail anymore.
sigh....just an obligation to sail.
an obligation to study.
wad a forced life.


hey darlings...let's meet up one evening again.
it was great having dinner with you guys at chomp chomp
it was great catching up with all of you at the bbq.
a crazy time together.
i miss it already.


viv~!!!
wear your skirt the next time we go out k.
pretty pls.........love you.
hope you're working fine.
must get more sales k.

my other 2/3....making us a whole.

woke up early to have a breakfast.
caught an early movie.
and spent the rest of the day shopping.
it was tiring.
but i had wonderful day.
thanks.


the company was great.
and that's all that matters.

thanks for the handmade book
thanks for the cards.
had a wonderful meal at cartel with sera and lijie yesterday.
catching up on everything.
school. guys. army.
argh.
time was short.
hope to see you guys real soon


went to watch bball finals.
HC girls thrashed VJ 68-34
sadly,
HC guys lost to TJ by 5 points
no. 10 is cute.
haha...


yeah...he's coming back tmr...
but dun think i'll get to see him
gotta wait till monday. -pouts-

my "cuzzie" my darling and myself. love you