Chapfallen

i finally finished the marathon.
but i had a very bad finish.
a really awful one in fact.
havent felt so demoralized and disappointed in myself for a long time

feels good to wake up this morning knowing that i've nothing on my agenda.
dun have to study for another 12 hours like what i've been doing for the last few weeks.
however, the thought of screwing up my maths really badly still lingers in my head.
it doesnt want to leave.
i dun even wanna pack my bag and see my question paper.
fuck it.
i worked hard for my paper.
i cant believe this has happened.
i hate myself so much.

woke up with a temp of 39.9 diz morning.
my whole body was aching and hot.
yet i was still cuddled up under my thick blanket.
shivering.
din wanna wake up.
or leave my bed.
i've never felt this sick for a while.
i guess my immune system finally gave in to my odd schedule
but must it break down yesterday???
the day when i had 2 papers.
the day when i needed it to be at its best condition.
thanks.

i'm now just waiting for my results.
my fate depends on it.
i'm praying.
praying real hard.

to edgar and grace.
thanks for being such great studying partners.
to my dearest sera, lijie, vivien and buddy,
thanks for being there and helping me with my work.
love ya guys