met up with wenjie at hall 3 today
to get our keys and do cleaning of our room
i FINALLY have a fren as my roomie.

we were having so much fun cleaning and getting the antenna right for the tv.
oh ya. wenjie broke the antenna though. oops.
reception at NTU sucks.
the only channel that we could receive REALLY clearly was TV3.
channel 5 and 8 had shadows...
it was like watching it in slow mo.

cant wait to decorate my room.
i think i'll finally have a cosy room.
and hall 3.
i'm just really happy.


i hope to lose 5kg asap.
help.
it was my resolution a year ago.
and i still havent.
i'm not gonna let myself down.
argh.

my 20th christmas.

a really wet christmas season this year.
and i love christmas.
how everything would feel so christmassy.
the joy of sharing the love and all.

my christmassy season started about a week ago w
hen i had to do shopping for everyone's pressies
spent alot this year.
it really din matter how much i spent...
it's weird..
but i just wanted everyone to be really happy.
it was all that matters, even if it meant going broke.

so there it was hunting high and low for the presents my loves wants.
from my mommy's 200 bucks pillow to baby's wallet to my little darling niece's minnie mouse vaccum cleaner.
it was shopping and shopping all the way till sat.
spent big bucks.
but i've yet to know the exact amount cause everything was paid for by card.
i'm so dead when the bill arrives.

mommy daddy totally forgot to get me a present.
but surprisingly, i was expecting it.
this christmas has really been a more giving one than receiving....
and it feels good.
weird yet good.
maybe it's cause of the extra cash i got. hence the spending.

oh well. so sat was spend with andy's family.
sentosa cove.
it was a lifestyle i think i'll never get used to.
always felt that it's.... out of my league.
but i love my boy... i'll learn to live it.

christmas eve.... a wet wet christmas eve.
went to my aunt's house for dinner..
played with my little darling.
and she came over to stay.

christmas day was also spent with da little monsta.
running round my house.
pestering me to play with her.
she's a pest. hah...a really adorable and annoying pest.



















it's been a nice year.
results wasnt great but good enough.
did wish it was better.
but i'll just work harder.

going down to school to collect my hall keys tmr.
life been's great.
seems to be going smoothly.
i need to thank You.

rain rain go away.....

wanted to go out with jess dear.
but it just keeps pouring and pouring and pouring
and that just really dampens our mood.

if only singapore was just alittle colder.
then it would have been snow instead.
how nice..


i dun mind a cool weather.
but this rain is just killing.

my boy called and ask if i could meet him tonight.
and bring nice food.

he has been starved for the last 4 days.
poor boy.

cant wait to meet him.
i'll bring yummy yummy food ok?


there are so many things i wanna buy.
but i seem to lack the moolahs...
christmas christmas~!!!

Outward Bound School II

Day 2's night activity was SOLO nightwalk.

it sounded quite harmless..
a walk in the forest at night.
with only the moonlight as your light.
gosh.
ALONE.

i hate things like these.
it's worst when you have to wait for your turn to enter the forest.
the instructors told us to follow the glow-in-the-dark lightsticks.
does it make me less scared?
not really.

so i waited for about 30 mins for my turn.
couldn't find the entrance to the forest.
all the entries point look the same..
i started panicking...

and so i entered..and followed.
it was scary.
walked about 15m.
and i met up with my frens.
bottleneck i supposed.
waiting for part II of the night walk.
was expecting a tunnel walk.

but when it was my turn to be brought to the tunnel??
it was a freaking ring kinda well tunnel.
i seriously started freaking out.

had to climb down a ladder and crawl.
in a pitch dark tunnel.
worst when the instructors told me..
THERE WILL BE DIFFERENT PATHS.
if you choose the right one... you'll exit at somewhere that look like the entrance.
AHHhhh.....so many paths???
help.
but ha.. in the end.. it was only ONE SHORT crawl.
but it was a bad enough scare.

i'm happy i completed it.
but ask me to do it again..
i may not dare.

sorry about the OBS part II

its taking awhile..but i got lazy.

i was a sad girl yesterday
but am a happy girl today.

went out with viv darling yesterday and we checked out forever 21.
i found a top i really liked.
only to find out they din have Small.
to think the stock came in ONLY yesterday morning.
asked the sales girl if they could check with the vivo outlet
and she told me that both stores carry different stocks???
ok so i went home feeling sad.

i went to check the online store!
and they only had Large left.

so this morning...
i woke up feeling really bu kan yuan
so i made my way down to vivo before meeting the girls
i combed the whole store....

and i FOUND IT~!!!!
they had 2 S left.
only 2.... phew...
but instead of just JUST getting my 50 bucks top.
i ended up getting a 60 bucks denim 3 quarts too...
heh...i blew 110 bucks. JUST LIKE THAT.
wun-der-ful....

=)
so it was dinner with the girls w/o wen at swensens.
yummy.
and the catching up... ya-da ya-da ya-da.
wanted to head to minds cafe.
but they had a private event today. OF ALL DAYS.

so we settled for chill out at the nearest uni THERE.
how sad.
love my girls though.
we have all grew up...
views and thinking changed..
i dunno if that is good or bad.
but i still love you all.

Outward Bound School.

my very first OBS.
and probably my one and only one..

hah....too many mozzies and ants for me to take it.
my lastest updated count was 72.
Amazing eh?
i'm SHOCKED.

my left hand had about 20.
and so did my right.
the rest were scattered around my legs
to my ass... and my lower back.

i was wondering how they bit me since i DID wear track pants.
then...
andy told me that they actually are able to penetrate the clothing
AHHHHHHH
din help that my sister's track pants were a little thinner than those thick woolly ones.

so day ONE was the meet at punggol jetty.
the mozzies started attacking me from then on. =(
wenjie and i were in the group which was great.
too bad anna was separated. YUP..there were only 2 groups. of 14 each.
so we had to PADDLE across to UBIN from the JETTY.
gosh. i was expecting a ferry ride larz.
luckily i had breakfast.
so we did managed to survive the paddling then it was settling down FOR AWHILE.
before kayaking to our FIRST campsite.
I HATE KAYAKING.

FIRST CAMPSITE was some old former granite quarry...by the sea.
it was terrible.
had to cook in the dark.
pee in the woods.
take powder baths
and sleep on hard pokey granite rocks.
i wanted to scream...
i could see sengkang from where i was...
HOME~!!!!!!
and so that night was a very hard nite rest on sharp rocks poking my back
with ants and mozzies attacking my FEET and hands.

woke up to a really cold morning on DAY 2
burnt my baobei sailing cap while trying to warm it by the fire. -damn sad can-
it was THE cap that i u-turned during a race to pick it up when the wind blew it off my head.
day 2 was also the sea expedition.
we went along the jelutong swamp
which means we got stuck at mangroves.
meandered along lotsa meanders.
got lost.
and finally exited at the northern part of ubin.
kayaked the entire north and western part of the island back to OBS.
never felt happier to see OBS.
finally got to take a shower and set of trekking to our next campsite.

will continue later....
starting to feel it's a little LOooooooong.....

MOZzies and Ants

it's been quite an interesting 4 days.
i'm covered in mozzy and ant bites now.
last count was 40.
yes...it seems that THEY like me alot.
i'm sucked dry man.

itching like CRAZEEEEEEE
and i'm trying hard not to scratch.
although some have already bled. -mommy and andy is so gonna scold me-
damn it. more scars.

i'll blog about OBS later.
waiting for the andy to come over
to join me for dinner.
i'm starving.......

hurry come!!

the sweet ass is coming straight from ulu boon lay.
miss him so much...
to think that i was at pulau ubin
and he was at pulau tekong.
argh...


i wanna eat ice cream
and ooo chomp chomp...here i come!!

maybe you're right.

i can learn to love living life like this.

a bbq by the sea.
on a boat.
with the beautiful night skyline of shenton.
with the wonderful sea breeze.

sitting on the pontoon and eating?
yum.

it's a pity..
i will never be able to buy a boat on my own.
never.

you know..

sometimes...
i just wished time would hurry up FLY
damn it fly...

so that andy could finish army soon.

i hate to see him so tired and stressful
and it doesnt help that he's always so prone to falling sick.
and it's worst when he's stuck in the "i'm gonna fall sick but i'm still capable of pushing myself" state.

it hurts.
army is supposed to make boys become man.
but seriously...
boys will be boys.
so just quit making their lives so difficult.

it was supposed to be a happy day.

exams are over.
my FIRST uni exams.
and i HATE it...

heh...gotta start getting used to it though.

today's phy geog was crappy.
hahha... everything that i studied with wenjie yesterday was USELESS.
ok...except for those bits with discussed randomly and briefly.
haha... not a single question i did today was related to anything i've read recently.
i think every piece of it.. was based on my JC knowledge.
crapping here and there?
smoking here and there. hahhaah
rocks big time. no pun intended.

*cross my finger and hope to do OK*


came out of the examination hall all happy and smiles.
was loving the day and enjoying every moment of it.


till it all happened.
it's just so frustrating how misunderstandings can lead to one thing and another.
it's cumulative.
and you get so mad you refuse to admit its your fault.

little assumptions.
little misinterpretations.
little things that leads to one big quarrel.

life is shit when it's like that.
it never was supposed to be.

maybe i'm being selfish.
but do you also understand how i feel?

maybe i shouldnt have
maybe i should have.
i dunno.

since you said you din want me to call.
i wont.
or should i?
i'm starting to lose the ability to understand you.
or maybe i din understand you right from the beginning.
maybe i just cant.


its supposed to be a happy day.
but i'm not smiling.

the music some soothing dancy song...

it was a sunny afternoon.
people were just walking pass each other without stopping.
a busy stretch of road outside wisma.

and there they were.
holding each other and dancing to the song.
enjoying each other's company.
kissing.

like what we always see on the dance floor of a romantic movie....


it was really sweet.
i guess.
i just couldnt understand how they did it
in the middle of orchard road...
where everyone was looking...

it was out of place.
but it was really lovely.
it just seemed that the world belonged to them.
and only them.

the way they danced
the way they only had eyes for each other.
everything else din matter for they had each other.


it was an odd sight.
but it was still the most lovely scene ever.

whoever said uni was a breeze has gotta be telling the biggest lie.

i remembered when i was taking my Os..
a teacher said we should work hard get into a good JC and all is well.

i believed.
JC sucked.
and there it is again...
teacher after teacher saying that As is the worst it can get.
uni exams are a breeze.

once again...
i feel darn cheated?
or maybe its just the course i'm in.

geez....
a teacher taking exam. such an irony i feel.
i really tot it would have been the end of it all after the dreadful exams one year ago.



the weather is really cooooooling now.
how nice would it be to cuddle under my nice blankie.

but oh no...
me gonna go take a SHOWER soon...
and with my coffee.....
shall try to mug hard on alg.


a part of me still love maths.
someone just slap me and ask me to wake up.
please......

i'm very upset with my calculus paper.
knowing that i could have done it
but at that instance...

i just couldnt.

how many times had this happen??
darn it


worst still...
i have a geog paper in less than 20 hours.
yet to prepare for it.
and i'm in NO mood to.

i hate myself.

even though it was a mere an hour and a half
of coming all the way down from home
soley to accompany me and make sure i was ok.


...it meant alot
the rest of the mugging day seems a whole lot better.
thanks baby~!

barely a week to my very FIRST uni exam.

but here i'm battling with...

1) a really itchy and runny nose.
2) keeping the cruched up tissues ON the table
3) a pretty painful stomachache.
4) my chapters and CHAPTERS of maths.
5) memorizing the "WTF" PROVINGS of maths forumulaes.

it doesnt help that...

1) i cannot understand anything.
2) my brain is not functioning well.
3) i have been doing this for 3 straight days
4) i hate whatever the crap they want me to prove~!!!
5) i have a cup of awful vitamin C water next to me.

i'm going crazy cause...

1) i set my EXAM timetable as my desktop backdrop.
2) i have a exam countdown sheet in my pencilbox.
3) i only see f(x)s and dy/dx and limits= limits=......
4) i blasting music that i usually dun listen to
5) i fear very badly that i'll fail my maths modules.



can you understand my pain?

exams are in a week.
havent started studying at all.
been busy with my essay.

went to search for the past years papers yesterday.
i'm stunned.
read thru the maths paper and i can barely do even ONE question.
geography din seem easy too.

i've never been this scared.
maybe its cause of the among of responsiblity i have now.
there's no room for failure.
geez....

dun tell me that i can practice maths..
cause its not about practicing anymore.
if only it was that simple.
i wish.


pray for me.
things are so uncertain now.

i swear time flies SUPER fast...
like WHEE~! SHORT and fast......

it wasnt too long ago that i found myself struggling to adapt to uni life.
den again.

i still havent really gotten used to it yet.
i'm always still running away from hall back to home sweet home.
i've no idea why i've suddenly grown so attached to home...
when 2 years back...i remembered saying i cant wait to go uni and start hall life.

still struggling badly with academic issues too.
MATHS.
come someone kindly tell me..
WHY THE HELL did i take maths.

2 quizzes in 2 days.
tmr is the next.
planned to stay in hall to study tonight.
but i was on the verge of tears when i sat there for barely 30mins.
that's why i'm running back home again.
nothing feels better then home.

the only thing working against me at home is the TV.
nevermind. i know i can fight it.

barely 2 weeks to my first paper.
god bless me.
i'm still stuck in the maze of algebra and calculus.

it's really upsetting to know that
when ONE ignored the fact that she had tons of work to do...
and was really really tired and drained.
and gave up sleeping
just to complete something to save her group's presentation.

ONLY to find out later
that someone removed all her hard work.
zlich is left of that night's work in the slides ok?.
fuck.
wad did i stay up for?
ass.

i dunno to be angry or upset.
took the initiative to be nice to f***ing do something about it
and this is wad i get???
group presentation??
wtf.
i really wished i was given the option to choose my own members.
i hate this.



the village @ heeren.
blasting mambo night songs in nic's car.
starbucks @ holland.v
the talks.
ride round a quarter of singapore.

yet another friday night.
i love the freedom i'm getting.
i can learn to live this life.

to you: please stop drinking.
wake up and look around...
people that care for you are hurting.

to xf: you were the best. thanks for saving my lappie top.

retail therapy rocks.
one skirt. one sweater. one berms.
150 bucks.

yum.

loved the time with my girls and my boy.
vivo is nice.

i love fridays very much.

went to pick viv darling from work on friday.
before heading for supper at adam's road.
followed by mahjong till late

fridays are fun.

Wake me up when NOVEMBER ends

deadlines. presentations. exams.
wad's good about Nov??

my room smells funny.
and i dun really like it.

my roommate?
dunno her well.
and it's not that i dun like her.
but i just dun like her either.
its just a hi and bye thing.

spent the night at mich's hall last night.
four of us sleeping on 2 single bed joined together.
funny.

tmr is friday.
finally!

i need retail therapy.
sorry viv....
PS-ed you the last min.

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY my dear baby boy.

if things really din matter
if things really were ok.
if it was all just nevermind.

you would have never felt that way.
i would never be feeling this way.
its been a long day.

sorry aint enough to salvage the damage done.
i know it.
things are not going well at your side.
i know it too.

it's time like this that i feel that i would very muchlove to turn back time
love you still.
*smuacks*

as i mentioned...
havent played bball in eons.

thankfully din malu-ate myself.
in fact.
considering the fact that i havent played competitively for the last 3 years.
i did fine.

had all the normal trainings. like 2 men pass. figure 8. block outs
ha. i actually remembered everything.

played 5-5 too.
2 girls 3 guys a side.
stamina was sucky to the core.
but ha...managed to "burn" ONE guy and steal the ball from TWO other.

yesh. and right now.
my body is aching like CRAP.

maths test this morning was sigh.
ok but not ok.
i hope i pass. *cross my fingers*

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.



dunno about yours. but mine seems pretty accurate.

once again....

i blew 35 bucks on a pair of nike shorts
another 35 bucks on a nike sports bra for the sister

and i'm still thinking of spending another 35 bucks on myself.

all these...... at my school's bazzar.
my gosh.

did i mention i was eyeing a 60 bucks dress from forever 21.

geez......
to think i told myself to stop spending.



basketball training in 3 hours.
zzzz....
did i mention i havent really played bball in eons?

good luck to me.
i just hope i dun malu-ate myself.

went to VIVO city with my dear boy today.
it's definately my new heaven.
we have forever21, zara, mango, topshop, esprit and tangs.
all in that huge ONE building.
how nice....
no more shuttling btw wisma and taka.
bye bye orchard.
hi vivo.

had a great time with my boy.
he's finally back in camp.
i dunno to be happy or sad.

the haze is starting to irritate the shit out of me.
so was the long jam home.
cab fare cost 20 bucks today.
when it usually cost only 12 at most.

been spending alot.
budget girl. budget.

things are starting to get more and more tiring.
i promise to do well.
i must juggle my studies and everything else.



anybody knows of any good place to have a nice dinner with a group of friends?
i ran out of places.
need a place by friday....
hmmm

essays are piling and piling.
i'm so sick of it.


my boy has been really adorable.
4 teeth out and pain is all he feels.
duh.


i realized i had been spending so much money
i actually really lost count.
gosh.
getting my allowance is really not that enough.
taking into account that i have to put about half aside for savings.
there's hall fees.
school books.
meals.
bills.
transportation.
and daddy just asked if he could cut his 300 for me to 200???

where got enough??
i'm going to start my driving soon.
and i'm gonna pay every bit myself.
dead shit.

i forgot that as an older sis who has started "staying outside home"
i actually started having that "i feel obligated to be nice to my siblings" mode
that is i unknowingly start buying more things for them almost every other fortnight.

being in hall means paying my own meals.
being at home means paying for their meals.
AHhh....
now where did all my moo-lahs go?????

sometimes i wonder if it is really enough?
i need to start a where did all my money go? accounting book.
soon.

The Guy

The guy who loves you,
can't tell you the reason why he loves you.
He only knows that, in his eyes,
you are the only one.

The guy who loves you,
although he always makes you mad,
but whatever he has done is for your own good.

The guy who loves you, seldom praises you.
But in his heart, you are the best.
Only he knows it.

The guy who loves you,
will scold or complain if you didn't reply his messages or answer his calls
because he cares for you.

The guy who loves you , only drops his tears in front of you.
When you try to wipe his tears,
you are touching his heart ,
the heart which beats for you.T

he guy who loves you ,
will remember every word you said ,
even if accidentally.
And he will use the word always at the nick of time.

The guy who loves you,
will not give any promises that easily
because he don't want to break the promise.
He wants you to believe him
and give you the happiest and safest life ever after.

guy who loves you, always tells you not to think too much,
because he has already planned it for you.
He wants to give you the best life in the future.
He wants to give you a surprise,
believing that he can do it.

The guy who loves you,
maybe can't remember those special occasions like anniversaries,
but he does know that, every second he lives,
he's loving you, no matter what day is it.

The guy who loves you,
won't say "I love you" that easily,
because everything he has done for you
already shows that he love you.
He will only say it at the special situations
because he don't want you to misunderstand.
He wants you to know that he really loves you.

The guy who really loves you,
will feel that sometimes certain things only have to say once
because he thought that you might already understand him.
If talk so much,
he will feel that there's nothing you will cherish.

The guy who loves you,
will go to the airport to fetch you
but he won't carry a bunch a rose
and call you darling like what you expect.
He will carry your luggage and ask you
" Why are you becoming that thin within two days?"
with his sincere heart.

The guy who loves you,
will listen quietly to you when you are mad.
When you have finished,
he will say " You still got class tomorrow, sleep earlier."
with a smile.

The guy who loves you,
don't know whether he should call you when you are angry
but he will send a message to you after few hours.
If you ask him why he called that late,
he will say "When you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish.
But when you calm down, my explanation will only really works."

The guy who loves you,
always treat you like a little girl.
But everytime he want to make a big decision,
he will first want to hear your advice.

The guy who loves you,
don't like little toys like teddy bears,
but he will always put the bear you gave him at his bed.

The guy who loves you,
while quarrelling,
he will apologize although you are the one who's wrong.
But later, he will say
" Baby, actually you know its your fault, you know it urself."

The guy who loves you, seldom say sweet words.
But you know, his kisses have already transfer all his passion to you.

The guy who loves you,
if he can't always see you,
he will try to make himself busy so that he will not have any time to think of you.
Because he knew, if he didnt, he will keep on missing you.




now i know....
happy 20.
i love you

11 Sep

hall office sent me an email saying....

You WILL be getting a room mate soon.


28 Sep

Hall office sent me an email again....

You MAYBE getting a room mate soon.



make up your mind~!!!
haha...surprises comes as big shocks at times.

i have a new name...
" teacher jie jie"

how sweet...

somehow...my mind is still playing around with the idea of choosing the primary track or secondary track.
i love kids... so primary IS very tempting.
and secondary school syllabus is no doubt getting HARDER and HARDER
day by day.

i refuse to surrender to this challenge though.



anyway...that aside

went to kusu island yesterday.
on a gorgeous yacht.
andy's uncle almost 700k yacht.

i love the boat.
i love the sea.

going at that speed.
the sea breeze.
the beautiful coastline from west coast to sentosa to kusu.
even though all i saw was ports after ports.
it's a different perspective.
and i love it to bits.

did i mention...
i fell off the boat while trying NOT to be pulled into the water.
so i got more than just getting wet.
yeah. bruises.


thanks dear for coming to pick me up from home in the wee hours of the morning.
i know we were BOTH tired and sleepy.
but you still made the extra effort to come over.
i enjoyed the drive to your place!!
you're the best driver around. heh.
*heart* you

ha. driving along the expressway and roads at 6+ on Sunday morning is wonderful.
No cars. No jam.


i sense that i'm becoming spoilt.
either drive me around please?
or my second option would be the cab.
heh....... where did my love for bus rides go???

i just wanna do well and finish this crap up.


it doesnt seem to be going the way i want to.
sigh.
to those who said that uni life is nothing as compared to JC.
CRAP!~!!!

give me back my JC days.
anytime.
i miss you.


friday at sera's performance was nice.
felt that it was a little chim for me to understand.
but perhaps it was cause i was under strong medication.
my mind wasn't functioning much.

grace darling drove.
supper followed. yummy.
i see little "babies" developing.
company was great.
but i miss my girls.....
if only i had saturday instead.

went home for a short 6 hours today.

went for dinner with daddy and mommy.
sigh.
i miss them...

i actually DO miss them.

cant wait to be home during the weekends.

Critical Perspectives module's presentation was FANTASTIC.
the class loved it...and so did i~!!

the weeks of preparation.
the early morning today.

thanks adeline, naz, simin and jeslyn.
couldnt have done it without you guys!!


hope we all aced it.


ON 3 NTM now.... go figure.

it just rained...
and i'm feeling really emo tonight.

i guess its the whole idea of when i'm FINALLY feeling more settled in hall.
this whole having the entire room to myself idea.
enjoying every moment of silence.

it might be lonely at times.
but i'm loving it.


the news of me having a new roomie soon....
is not a least bit making me happy.
in any way.

i dun want a roomie.
i wanna be alone.
i like being alone.

please roomie....
i actually really dun want you to come.
i'm sorry.


what if she stinks?
what if she is damn messy?
what if she snores?
what if i dun like her?
what if she's damn irritating?
sigh...

i dunno want a roomie.
i miss home.
i miss you.
i miss my mommy, my daddy, my sista...and my brother.
i miss you you you.



it's a sad night okay.

i'm getting.........


A ROOMIE soon....


eeks...i dunno to be sad or happy.

mummy's gonna cook something nice for dinner tmr.
supposedly for me.

sigh. that's till i told her i'm going back to school in the morning
and wouldnt be coming home.


sigh. sometimes.
i do hate hall life.

school IS getting more and more tiring.

i need a breather.

my boy had been really sweet.
trying to make things easier for me.
offering to pick me up from school whenever he could.

i cant wait for the time you enter NTU.


i'm gonna fail the maths test i took on friday.
and why am i not surprised.
maths is draining..... very very draining.
i wouldnt be surprised if one day i suffer a mental breakdown.
now i know wad the dean meant by "ENJOY MATHS"


i'm doubly sad as my laptop cant seem to be able to access YAHOO GAMES.
i dunno why.
can someone please enlighten and save this COM IDIOT here?
i wanna play my Text Twist and Word Mojo.
I WANT I WANT.

but everytime i click on the game.
the entire window closes???

sigh oh sigh. help help.

life has its ways of playing jokes on us.

we should just live life the way it's planned out for us.
simple.
dun think too deeply.


i'm apprehensive.
*laughs*

i sometimes dunno wad the hell is up with me.
i'm just venting my anger on people who dun deserve it.
i'm sorry.
i'm really sorry.

give me time to find myself back.
school IS tiring me out.
maybe its just the long months of not schooling since after exams.
too big a transition.

project after projects.
group work after group work.
gave me a strong realization that....
i actually dun really like working with others.


it's quite amazing how many different ages there are in my classes.
people from 27 with kids. to people barely turned 19.
how different people thinks.
how different people act and react.
how different people carry themselves.

i sat down and looked around.
realized that there are people i do admire.
and people i just hate to the core.

did i mention people i dun like....are usually people i have to cross my path with?
sigh oh sigh.



my baby boy drove me back to hall last night.
after hours of MJ.
i love to be driven....
i'm a pampered child man.

every girl wants to feel like a princess...
i'm no different.


5 days till its down....

today is union day...
i dunno wad the hell is union day all about.
but no lessons from 10am-2pm sounds good.

ha....but i only have 2 hours of lessons on thurs which starts at 930.

so 1030 and i was on my way back home.
i miss my home. so glad to be back.
even if it's only for a couple of hours.

shall make a 2 hour trip back to hall later.


got done with printing my entire notes for my calculus module.
i hate maths.
sigh. i do i do.



viv...thanks for yesterday.
i love you.

i think i'm going blind.

my left eye hurts bad when i rub it.
it feels like there's a big huge pimple in the INSIDE.
or like there's a bad bad bruise.

wadeva it is....
it's just PAINFUL~!!!!



last evening...
we had NTUYC main com meeting.
yours truly is doing publicity...
which i think is gonna be sooooo FUN.

tee-shirt designing.
poster designing.
flyers.
publicity.

gonna help michele dear who's the biz management
with liasing for sponsers.... - which i DUN THINK we can find-
but sounds interesting anyway.

so anyway....
the sailing main comm....
is made up of...... 20 people...
out of which.....
10 are formally....



SAJC SAILORS~!!!!!

hahah..... talk about dominating..

went for supper with ben and mich after at hall 2.
and there we started meeting frens and realized...
eh..... i know your fren.
eh i know him too...
eh eh EH~!!!!!

yesterday,
my boy cooked me carrot and potato soup.
all i can say is THANK YOU THANK YOU dear.

it probably wasnt the BEST soup i've ever drank.
but hey....
he prepared it from scratch ok.
how often do people get treatment like that....

i feel so pampered and blissful.
i love my boy.



the day before...
the girls came over to my hall......
and it was hilarious.

"taken from lijie's blog"

1. wei wei knows how to play bridge,
just don't get her to be your partneryou will die
because she will trumph your card
and happily go "yayy!" with the cutesy handsign
then ask why everybody is laughing at her
and she did it more than once to me
if you were her opponent,
then it would really quite funny to watch

2. vivien can't play tai tee
she thinks she can put down 5.6.7 as a set
then proceed to ask me why
we were laughing and frothing at the mouth..


my girls are funny.

i realized i havent been updating my blog.

but do spare me as my laptop has yet to arrive and
staying in hall gives me no access to internet.


hall life's been ok.
i guess.
i'm just really tired at this moment cause i studied till 3 last night.
talk about crazy.

but being alone in that quiet room gets quite lonely
and hence all i wanna do is bury myself in books.
which is good.
cause f***ing maths is killing me.

oh sigh.

tired and stoned are the only 2 words in my mind now.
the daily wakes at 530am.
the 2 hours ++ bus rides to boonlay.
and the 2 hours rides back home is starting to drain the crap out of me.

i cant wait to move into hall now.
i'm sooooo jaded.
the long 3-5 hours of breaks in btw lessons are killing me too.

my gosh.
it's only week one ok.


my room is more or less done up.
alittle more shifting and deco would be nice.
interested parties just call me ok?
i would very much love your piece of artwork.


i dun think i've a roomie.
so i'm only taking the right side of the room.
how sad.
-sings- lonely~ i'm so lonely~ i've nobody~ all on my Oooown....

i'm feeling pretty broke too.
cause i've been paying every single shit i can think of paying since school started.
name it.
laptop.
hostel deposit.
thumb drive.
fees.
hall deco and stuff.
every pieces of shit...
my gosh...
my MOOOOooooLAHs????


i love my boy.
for bringing down ALL my things for hall.
for cleaning up my ENTIRE room when i was having my 2 hour lesson.
for the photoframe he made effort for.
for driving me home.
i cant thank you any more.



p.s: i miss you my girls. i'm sorry i missed our nights out.

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!

tagged by my cousin AGAIN~!!

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Do the following without complaining.

2. Choose 5 people to do this after you've completed yours.

3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say that he/she has been tagged.

4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.

FAVOURITES

-color: blue.

-food: chocolates

-song: " i think i love you"

-drink: green tea

-sport: sailing

-show: CSI

CURRENT

-mood: depress.

-figure: better than last time. =)

-clothes: sleeping tee and school shorts.

-desktop image: a beautiful picture of venice.

-time: midnight.

-tv program: i'm in front of the com. NO tv.

-best friend: i dun have a BEST fren. just many GOOD ones

-crush: nobody.

-lie: i'm not tired.

-kiss: guess who?

-breakup: i dun intend to.

-cry: just the other day.

JUST

-ate: porridge from chinatown.

-drink: water

-challenge myself: to make things right.

-catch: er... i dunno?

-watch: some funny video on youtube.

-finished: showering, eating, talking to my frens

HAVE YOU EVER

-dated one of your best friends: i dun have BEST frens.

-been yelled at: DUH

-been on tv: YA. dun remind me. *puke*

-embarrassed yourself in public: all the time.

-sing infront of others: yesh. and i dun like it.

-been slapped: yes.

THINGS

-4 things you did today: mop the floor. sweep the floor. msn. sms.

-4 sounds you can hear right now: my boy's voice, the fan, msn beep beep and the wind blowing.

The Chosen Five to do this!

if you're bored. just do it.

i'm not gonna target anyone.

it's always the case whereby you want something so much but you'll never get it.
i call it karma.

and so....
no Hall 3 for me.
Hall 14 is given instead.

oh well....
i really would like to appeal for a change to the prettier hall 3
but i guess it's a little too tedious and cumbersome,
given the limited amout of time i have left due to my pretty late application.


oh well.
i guess i'll just have to settle for Hall 14 first and
hope to move out to Hall 3 come the next sem.
hope is the word now.



moving time. coming soon.

it hurts so much that so that pain doesnt feel the same anymore.


i've changed.
or maybe its just the both of us that have.

i wish to correct the mistakes i've done.
i used to be the girl that always made you smile.
i'm no longer the one to now.

i'm sorry you're angry with me 24/7.
maybe it's just that you cant stand me anymore.
i'm sorry that you have to think of me this way.
and i really dunno why.


maybe you're right. maybe.
love hurts. i hate it when love hurts.

i wanna bury my face in my hands
and stop the tears from rolling down.


all i wanna do is have you smiling.

uni's just starting to look a little better.
seeing a few familar faces do make me feel more homely?
my og mates are pretty great too.


did i mention that the maths lecturer told us that...
there are a handful of maths students a year who had to go for counselling cause they couldnt take the maths syllabus?
very stressful apparently.
f***.
now i'm scared.
maths is my core sub.
which means....i'm in for it for 4 years.
4 freaking long years.
4 freaking i dunno wad crazy modules i read.




someone PLEASE tell me i'm doing it right.




please give me hall 3.
please.

i realized i hadnt been updating for a pretty long time.
oh well...
things been really packed.

i first went on a short and boring trip to genting last week.
came back. barely rest.
and had to head off to my nie orientation camp.
camp was pretty ok. met a couple of fellow SA peeps....
some i liked. and of course some i DUN.
and once again i learn the world was small.
if time allows i'll post pictures up of the camp soon.

not now. i'm really sick
just a 2 night camp was enough to let the bugs invade me and kill me.
fever. cough. flu. dehydration. zzzzz

and the next few days would once again be packed with talks and more bonding activities.
schools starting in about a week plus...
and i've yet to settle hall stuffs...
wish me luck.




to you:
i'm sorry things had to turn out this way yesterday.
for all the times i've disappointed you
i'm really sorry.
i dunno wad else to say.

i hope you do know i love you very much.

i suddenly feel that i'm going into it alone.
and that i would be stuck in the ulu west of singapore all by myself.


just wished that there were more frens going into the same school as i am.
or even staying in hall too.
i also wish i din had to stay back in jc for another year.


den... at least i would have my fellow st nicks fren in NTU too.
i seriously feel very alone this time round.
and i hate being alone.


doesnt help that i'm a rather anti-social person
who takes a very long time to warm up to people.


i'm so gonna move into the emo mood.


friends, PLEASE come and accompany.
i wouldnt mind sleeping on the floor
just to let you have the bed.

i love simple meals like this.
it means so much and taste so darn good. =)

After a looooooonng bus ride to Changi Village.....
had to queue for a loooong time for........


















THIS~!
changi village famous -super long queue- nasi lemak.















After which we had to wait for Ben and Robin to pick us up since Grace and Michelle got a little lost.


And then we spotted....
















STORM CLOUDS.!!! *horrors*
















waiting and calling. waiting and calling....












FINALLY....CSC!! Sailing here we come.



And so....
we started trying our best to remember how to rig up a boat.
a NON power pac boat at that...
omg.

and it was followed by sailing...
under the sorching sun.
to the brewing storm.
riding the waves. - i saw WHITE caps- *scared*
and lastly, the big painful drops of rain.

all kinds of weather,
bringing back all kinds of memory.


had a pathetic mini race with grace.

helms of the day:
grace and andy.

crews of the day:
michelle and me
respectively.

and half way thru the "race"....

i got "dumped" into the sea.
and the helm wanted to abandon the crew.
oh darn it.



oh yesh.... and we got HORNED by a big big cargo ship.
ha.... COOL..



SaiLINg still ROCKS!!

one can never truly understand the joy of sailing till you experience it.
i'm gonna be like grace...
get ALL my frens hooked.


i'll consider joining NTU sailing.
JUST so that i can ____ *winks*




We met up at Chong's place that night.
for a supposely sailing gathering which failed miserably.....












and thus...
mahjong night.



Thank you all for the splendid day...
i wouldnt mind having it many times more.

NOTHING in the world beats sailing....

it would be great if i was able to take photos of us sailing.
but no..... sea water and camera is a no go.
that's unless if i have the olympus one.
oh well.....

details of my sailing saturday will be up later with the aid of pictures.
otherwise it will be too wordy for comfort reading.


to sum it all up.


I LOVE SAILING!!!

more sailing outing please please please.




oh yesh..NTU biz rejected by appeal.
saw it coming.
alright.
a teacher i shall be.
call me Ms Goh...


it doesn't really sound right.
i actually dun like it. =(

ONLY was it this morning that i suddenly realized....





"Where did my burgee go?!!?"






OK.
i seriously cant remember...
i remembered seeing it at home.
but den dat might have been before interschool last year?
ya. ONE YEAR AGO?

did i lend it to someone?
did someone borrow it from me?
i remembered asking someone to take it back from NSC for me.
hmmm....
it's too eye-catching to miss it in my room wad.


ok please let me know if it's with any of you ok?
because that's my darling burgee who have served me well....
yes.

the one with one side orange and one side coloured black.
i ruined it myself. yes i know.



on a much much much happier note.
I'm going SAILING tomorrow!!!


wHhoOoooOOooooooooPie!!!!

grocery shopping was shelved off yesterday.
i was just too tired to prepare dinner from scratch.

so it was just walking to and fro bukit batok central
searching for nice food.
settled for kfc though.

not the best dinner dishes....
but definately the best dinner company.





right now...
i'm waiting for you to call and tell me you pass.
just so that i could immediately take half day
and go find you.

i'm so tired at this moment...
i feel like hiding under the table and sleep.
and it doesnt help that i'm listening to my sister's ipod.
soapy saddy tear inducing korean songs.


my gosh...
zZzzZzzzzz.....



off to the supermarket after work.
my turn to prepare dinner for us.
yawnz........
i figured i might just fall asleep by the stove.



on a more violent note.
i feel like stabbing my boss.

he came up with funny ideas again...
so now i have to re-edit and label about 60 over files.

at this rate it's going...
i'll probably have to work till school starts???
sigh...



anybody needs a job?

fly away.....

i went to swissotel today.
for the SIA air stewardess interview.
after filling up the form
it took me about 15 mins of waiting...
before i stood up and walk out of the waiting room.


2 reasons.

1. i felt out of place.... *i'm seriously still a little girl*
2. i din have time to wait for the 100++ people in front of me.


a fun and relaxing mahjong game was waiting for me at chong's place.







i felt like the luckiest girl in the world on friday.
guess why.

i love my boy.

It's.....



finally..........














HERE~!!!!

when clothes are never enough.....

i so love their dresses....
but they dun carry all in that one and only outlet in singapore.

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Dresses&product%5Fid=2026501641&Page=2


http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Dresses&product%5Fid=2028678129&Page=3

this is where my good fren jiefang comes into the picture.
right darling?
meet up before you leave ok?



it feels weird that there was no world cup match to watch last night.
withdrawal symptoms.
ha!



abby is very happy this morning
because she has finally reached the
next thousand in her savings account.

however, she foresees herself spending it away soon.
and bring it back down to square one.


wad to do...school is starting soon wad.
and i need more clothes.
if only we still have uniforms for uni....

i wish to wake up every morning.
knowing that wad i'm doing is right.

a part of me just refuse to accept the path i'm going to take.
a part of me just aint feeling right.

i miss my frens.
i dun wanna be there alone.

but it seems that circumstances tells me otherwise.

i ought to be happy that i'm starting a new journey of my life.
ought to is the key word here.

i think i'm just not willing to step out of my comfort zone yet.





a short shopping trip yesterday with vivi and sera.
sigh.... more clothes that i like.
much more clothes that i want.
grrr......oooo......
this is once again where money issues steps in.
* i still dun understand how ben can say that it's ONLY MONEY*

btw, i think i shrank.


to vivi: buy the skirt. buy the skirt~!!! =)


i miss you. hurry finish your course please. =(

Happy Birthday Sera DaRLinG~!!!


on the way up to the office,
a couple of standard chartered bankers were in the same lift,
talking about yesterday's match.


" All they had to do was keep the ball away and i dunno wad the stupid referee was doing."

" Italians are cheats... they cant cook, cant play, argh...i need to box someone, something this morning... They shouldnt have won this way."


He's an Austrialian. Confirm.














To Aust:
I still think you played very well.
I still think you shouldnt have lost.
I still think the BLOODY referee should not have given italy a penalty kick. FAKERS!!
I still think it's unjustified you lost this way.
I wished you could have won.


To Italy:
Bloody Hell......



World Cup aside.
A wonderful and yummy dinner from you last night.
Ahhh..... Bliss.

i found myself cursing and swearing at Ecuador last night.
and rooting for England to just score a freaking goal.
And when Beckham scored...i couldnt help but scream GOAL~!!!!!

World Cup...
i'm finally gradually being drawn into it.



School's starting in a month exact.
But i dun find myself feeling at all happy about it.
I foresee myself hating Uni.



Oh sigh.



Did i mention i have yet to start my BLOODY driving. Oh double sigh.

i'll state that i'm only doing this cause i'm VERY bored in the office, and because my cousin listed me as one of 5 to do this. grrrr...... lucky rite...

ok here goes.

firstly, name 20 people you think of now before answering the questions below
tag 5 person to do this, if he/she done it, there's no need to redo it again..

1. Andy

2. Vivien

3. Sera

4. Lijie

5. Weiwei

6. Wenwen

7. Prisc

8. Jess

9. Xiaofeng

10. Leslie

11. Yeanling

12. Wanting

13. Jiefang

14. Menghui

15. Small Grace

16. Mini Grace

17. Alvyn

18. Michele

19. Patricia

20. Cheryl the sister.

When did you meet 14?
In school. JC classmate
What will you do if you never meet 1 before ?
I would be single now. I would have a soulmate less.
What will you do if 20 and 9 dated?
OMG~!!!!! I WILL BE SUPER DUPER DUPER SHOCKED!!! *andy!...read this part..hahahah*
Did you ever like 19?
Haha...she's my cousin.
Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
No. No. NO~!!!!
Describe 3.
She's a guy magnet. and sometimes girls too. My pretty friend.
Do you think 8 is attractive?
Yup... in her own very unique and lovable way.
Tell me something about 7.
She's gonna be the first to get married in our clique. *nods vigourously*
Do you know any of the 12's family member?
Eh.... no.
What's 8 favourite thing?
Shopping. Tanning. Shopping.
What would you do if 11 confess that he/she likes you?
I will laugh my head off. She's perfectly straight ok.
What language does 15 always speak?
English?!!!?
Who is 9 going out with?
No one. Single and available.
How old is 16 now?
18 turning 19.
When is the last time you talk to 13?
10 June 2006.
Who's 2 favourite singer/band?
Wah...i cant remember.... i think WAS Linkin Park.
Would you date 4?
Erm...NO? i dun date girls.
Would you date 7?
I repeat.... i dun date GIRLS.
Is 15 single?
Nope. She's happily attached.
What's 10 last name?
Let me think........OW.... if this is how you spell it.
Would you ever be in a relationship with 11?
I REPEAT~!!!!!! I DUN DATE GIRLS....argh.
What school does 3 goes to?
NTU.
Where does 6 live?
Somewhere between sin ming and bishan. a penthouse at marymount dunno wad.
What's your favourite thing about 5?
Her nice hair. and oh so pretty face.... *dreams*
Have you seen 1 naked?
Half naked...Yes.
5 people to do this lame thing:
here comes the tough part.... sorry to all. Yeanling, Wen, Jiefang. Alvyn and.....Small grace.

i believe i can fly...

just a dream.
a pilot i wanna be.
a fighter pilot.




can i replace it to stop myself from feeling even sadder?

it hurts to know it's missing.

but i too know, it aint your fault.

a bright and sunny morning. just nice for the beach.















the dudes and jess's floppy hat....















and the photographer goes snapping away...




























les and xf playing finger guessing game.















me and jess working on our tan.


















and the guys playing their waterpolo.




















my all time fav shot. out to kill man.














yup...all dead and shagged at the end of the day.

Jess's birthday

the birthday girl and her boyfriend.















the group of us who executed her birthday surprise.














at Mos.... les and andy playing some freaking psycho-motor game.
















the guys starting to get a little high.
















me and baby.














me jess and justin.














photo-whoring.....














yupz...notice why xiaofeng hasnt been in most of the group photos?



cause he was gone..... and sleeping. poor boy.

Happy BirthDAy my gOOd old Friend soNG jiEHui!!


i'm quite apprehensive over what i'm getting myself into.
i should be happy that i've some uni to go to. and get a fully paid education with pay.


but i really cant help wondering.
is this what i really i want?

i'll be signing almost 10 years of my life away.
but i'm left with no choice.



and congrats to xf.

my dearest daddy is so funny.

he bet 0 goals for the france v swizterland match.
seriously, given me.. i would have bet france win.


so yesh......i din think he stayed up to watch to match
so the next day, i guess he asked my cousin wad the score was.
and my cousin said 1-0 (referring to the brazil vs who?)

so my daddy was CLOSE to throwing his ticket away
cause he was so sad.
he bet 4 total goals for the korea game TWICE (by accident) and they scored 3.
and ya...0 goals...which he assumingly lost.

and then when he read the newspaper when he came home...
he got SOooooOOOoo happy.

"Bloody hell, it was 0-0..... lucky lucky.... lucky never throw. almost."


i think my daddy's mad.
his logic is to bet on those with higher odds. as in high high odds.
how can?

he says...like that den shiok wad.
win den win big....


ok daddy. you win.



went for the moe briefing this morning.
i'm scared of being a teacher suddenly.
it's the commitment.
gosh.


oh come on NTU. biz please.

surprise surprise surprise

Oh yesh...it's finally here!!!

"Your application was not successful. Unfortunately, we received many more applications than there are places.We will be notifying you in writing shortly. Thank you for your interest in SMU."


After making me wait for the reply for like donkey years...
finally ya.
ok. i'm pretty upset cause they dun want me,
but at the same time....so be it.
i would have still chosen NIE over it.


heh. ok.....i'm just hoping that NTU would offer me Biz.







met my A51 girls on sat....
for a brief 2 hour sakae dinner with fun filled jokes and laughters.
its such a typical girly day.
ah.....i just wanna go back to the JC days.


met up with phang and baby after that,
and worked hard in planning jess's surprise birthday.
how we said phang was still in tekong...
how he lied to her that i cant come because i fell down and sprained my ankle so badly
that i had to go to.......



A & E????


right.... it's so overdone.
but that silly girl believed it all.



so jess's surprise party REALLY REALLY caught her off guard.
how she was screaming in shock at the fountain outside taka.
how she was so happy that everyone who "couldnt come" came.

priceless...


next stop was Mos......
i'm still feeling sore over the fact that there were 7 of us.... and the lady scanned past EVERYBODY
den scanned me...... twice....
and said....


" IC please.."


like aHhhhHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
i'm 20~!! 20 20 20.....
i still look underage meh???

i swear i could hear everyone laugh at me...
especially YOU. grrr......


clubbing wasnt all that bad.
company was great i supposed.
how we played all those games...

phang totally died out after 3 cups?
right..... pictures up someday.
poor 1st time clubber.

jess lost badly to justin and baby.
and so leslie took revenge on me.
oh yeah.
since it was some psycho-motor game.
explains why I lost damn badly to a pilot?????

so at the end of the day....


jess was gone and i was high.
speaking of which, jess darling is amazingly funny when she's super high.


you were such a sweetie for accompanying me ALL the way home.
love you.




Aust won Japan?
i was awake for the 1st 70 mins of the game.
getting so pissed that both sides were playing badly.
even Japan's goal was bad.
and when i fell asleep....
Aust scored....
3 times?!??!!!


maybe i'm the unlucky charm.

i'm still a little high from last night.
but spare me, it was my first.


i love my friends.
i'll blog about it tmr... ...




i flipped to obituaries this morning.
i saw her picture and din know wad to feel.
she's too young to be gone.

the sky is grey but you keep me GAY *as in happy*

yesterday was dinner with the girls i missed very much.

first was meeting viv in town and visiting wei at her cooking stall
before heading down to gardens.

yesh... wei is COOKING~!!!!!
ok.....beware ok...
esp if you wandering around taka...
dun say i dint warn you.



chicken rice for dinner, followed by chilling at coffee bean.
catching up on each other's life.
boyfriends, future, exs, and more boyfriends.

girly stuffs.
at 20, and conversations topic sure changed.
reminiscing about the past...
young and stooopid times of our lives.

*and i really dun remember ALWAYS quarrelling with HER okay*


wadeva it is...
i love wen.i love viv.i love prisc.i love sera.i love lijie.i love wei.


thanks for my forgotten gift.
and hope you like your small gift big bag wen.




p.s: be careful of what you say, because the world is really really small. at least singapore is.

i'm excited about tomorrow. and i cant understand why.



oh yeah. i miss you

to the senior who taught me gym back in st nicks ,
i always admired the flips and stunts you did.
you were primary 6, i was primary 3.

to the girl who always smiled at me and acknowledged my presence
although i did not know you that well.

to the girl who always had a smile that brightens up everybody's day.
the cheerleader, the gymnast, the athelete.

to lena cheo,
it's a pity that god has taken you to join him so soon.
wherever you are in heaven,
you will be missed by many.


my condolences to all those close to her.


life is just that unexpected,
so treasure it.

this was meant for yesterday:

Happy Birthday Wen Wen!!!



i've called MOE today , but they have yet to call me back.
nvm


3 days ago, i e-mailed the nice lady who conducted my interview...
and she replied!!!

.........

"Dear Abby,
As you have failed the PPT, you will need to choose another teaching subjects
and not PE in order for you to enter the BSc (Edun) course."


followed by...


"You may write a short note and attach it with your acknowledgement slip that you wish to change your AS1 to academic instead of PE."


oh yummy yummy.
i'm finally much more happier.

and i hope it stays this way.
i can finally set my mind at ease and say:




"I have somewhere to go!"





to yeanling: i've cleared my path. i'll pray that you clear yours too. love





i met wanting just now.
and she only further proved mystand that this year's acceptance is screwed up.
especially for UNiverSity.

see you girl. at NTU.

isaiah 40:26, 28-31:

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.

Do you not know?Have you not heard?The LORD is the everlasting God,the Creator of the ends of the earth.He will not grow tired or weary,and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the wearyand increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint.



my fate lies in a call tomorrow.
i'm jaded.



i thank all my frens who has been there for me.

i finally got the letter from MOE.


and it says alot.
but the most important part is in bold like this:

"If I am not exempted from the EPT and/or PPT, i need to pass the EPT/PPT by MAY 2006. Otherwise, the Ministry will withday the offer made to me."




so if you guys remember.
i DID NOT pass my PPT.


so yesh. i'm screwed.
darn screwed.


and i cant clear my doubts till monday since MOE works on a five day week.
and monday = 5 June.


screwed. screwed. SCREWED~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i probably will end up in a shit hole.
that is nowhere to go.



yesh. shit hole for abby's uni.
cheers.

to trust in you.

matthew 6:32 : your father in heaven knows that you need all these things. instead be concerned above everything else with the kingdom of god and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you woth all these other things.


matthew 7:7-8 : ask and you will receive; seek, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks will receive, and anyone who seeks will find, and the door will be opened tho those who knock.







thank you for giving me a fantabulous short 10 min drive yesterday.
thank you for trying all means to cheer me up and working things out for me.
thank you for being there when i need someone.


as much as i would like to smile and believe that everything is ok.
i cant.

results are out.

NTU- science (education).

but since i failed my PE test 2 weeks ago.
i'll probably have to settle to being a maths teacher.

i'll just accep it first and work things from there.


still on the waiting list on SMU.
and i'm gonna appeal for business in NTU.


the future looks bleak.
or maybe its just me.



i should look on the brighter side of things.
to be glad i have somewhere to go.


but at the same time.
i feel awful.





it boils down to one simple point.
is this really wad i want?



song playing: must get out (maroon 5)

my daddy told me this.....


" i'm damn pissed with you cause you din study hard for your A's. See...now you have nowhere to go"




oh thanks.
wth. seriously.
i studied can. wtf.

i couldnt even be bothered to defend myself anymore.
it's tiring.
i know i did study. and study hard at that.
maybe i'm just dumb.
i'm not exactly feeling very proud of my grades.
but wad done is done.

i tried my best. dun expect much.
can you just be a little more understanding?
i wish. i hope.



i went out with the sailors just now.
was tired after work.
but i decided i din go home and get myself all scared.

i had fun.
i love the arcade when i'm feeling down.
and i love you all for making forget how scared i am.




p.s: i'll pray hard tonight for my dear fren who always listen to my nonsense in class.




it's times like this where i feel alone.
it's times like this where i feel so lost.
it's times like this where i wish things wouldnt be like that.
it's times like this where i would do things i usually wouldn't.
it's times like this where i wouldnt mind blasting music and getting myself drunk.


someone tell me: does drinking really takes away your problems?



i sense bad news ahead.
i wish i am wrong.

it's already 30th May.

and still no news.


i'm getting really frustrated and scared.

i failed the pe test thingy.



darn.



it just ruined my entire happy day of
tanning.
ben & jerry's...
all gone.


i expected it though.
but still.......
sigh.
ok
ntu please hurry just get back to me.

we both got bored waiting for sushi to come the other day.









still waiting.









all smiles cause it was yummy.















my retarded smile.














our many many plates....















tada~!!!! burp~!