finally got down to signing up for final theory.


regattas coming up. yeah.
gotta win the team division.


2 more weeks to the end of my shit job. *big smile*

the first time i talked to you.
i mistook you as a sailor from tj.
those eyes of yours really attracted my attention.
that was almost a year ago.


you said you wanted breakfast too.
and i got it for you.
you started cracking your lame jokes.
and the crappy video clip of the guy jumping off the cliff.
your classic boat. our chats out at sea.
sailing next to each other. yakking away before the race started.
we started trying to capsize each other.
playing pirates out at sea.
i sailed ur full rig back, you sailed my radial.
that was june this year.


you lent me your burgee.
coming down to nsc with ur green uniform and tie with it.
u were stranded in school and had to take a pink slip.
heh. you din noe how much i was depending on it.
alliance from tp with andy and jp.
last day of interschool.
you forgot about bringing change.
and i had to endure sitting next to dirty you.
thru the traffic jam at eunos.
and we started playing with your phone.


soon we started hanging out like crazy.
dinner at chomp chomp. chilling in town.
me you my buddy.
the first time u held my hand.
was to reassure me that everything would be all right.
it was really nice. i remember keeping it out of sight from somebody.
den three soon became two.


our killer spicy dinner at bugis.
our long 1 hr waiting for 70 at suntec.
the dinners at gardens.
the scary movie where we both kinda regretted watching.
the bus rides home, not letting me get down at my stop.
always ending up at jalan kayu.
you came down specially to pick me up after my test, just to accompany me home.
it was great to have your company.


bringing me lotsa food when i wasnt feeling well.
national day.
9th august.


memories kinda played back in my today.
constantly.
probably cause i was at bugis.
the place we always end up at.
somehow, i really miss u recently.


i wonder if i made a mistake one month ago.
but what done cant be undone.
or could it?
was i blinded by anger?

went for supper at jalan kayu.
burp.
it was yummy-licious.
ice tea was nice. prata was all right.
havent ate much the whole day. was starving~!!
supper just made my stomach real happy.

ur company was greatly appreciated today.
training has never been this fun since a long time.
a full pasta lunch, going down to bedok, rigging up, racing with each other, kicking my burgee into the sea, washing my seaweed attacked boat, pulling the lousy trolley back, walking out to the bus stop, stoning on the bus, a satisfiying dinner followed by a stroll in town.
thanks buddy.
those were the days.




somehow i really wished i could have you by my side tonight.
where's my teddy bear when i really want it.
guess i'll just stick to my comfy blanket.
zzz.

12 hours ago i was intoxicated.
12 hours later.
my mood turned upside down.
and it's all thanks to you.
i'm flustered. exasperated. disappointed. aghast.
right now. at this present moment.
i really hate you.
for ruining my day.
i saved it for you. i waited the entire day.
and you just spoilt it all.
you can be such a jerk at times.
argh.




i hate myself because of you.

Do not look back and ponder over what might have been,
Nor be troubled about the year ahead for it has yet to come.
Live today to the fullest and make it beautiful so that it will be worth remembering.



i wonder how you're doing.
how's things been for you since then.
get well soon dear.
miss that sparkling eyes of yours

yeah. finally changed my blogskin.
and i think its finally nice.
more like me.
blue blue blue.
and more blue.

i'm bruised.
i'm shagged.


420 was just great fun man.
the sun was scorching.
the wind was pretty strong.
the sea was not that choppy.
a perfect day for my two-men boat.
my crew rocks.
we had lotsa fun.
from laughing at our stupid mistakes to almost capsizing.
from leading the fleet to overtaking the last few boats.
the boat travelled faster den the powerboat.
ha. rox big time.
seeing my dear crew out of the boat.
sorta flying above the water.
wow.
enjoyed myself greatly man.
thanks jiayi~!
for being such a wonderful crew
sorry for screaming and shouting at you though.
sorry for making the both of us jump around the boat.
geez.

might be sailing in 420 permanently though.
dun really want it.
i do have a great partner
but i still like the laser.
be a lonesome sailor
just me and my darling nooblet boat.
ha.
let's hope i can sail both classes for interschool.
sounds crazy.
but i'll pray hard. ha


hope grace and mich will be fine.
dun be so affected sweeties.
it takes time to sail well.
cheer up.


i'm glad you found what you lost.
dun be so careless next time.
really got me worried for awhile.

i thought i wouldn't miss you
but i do
i really really do.
i was wrong.

my skin's burning.
my body's aching.
my eyes are puffy.
i'm dehydrated.

but 420 was great.
going at a really fast speed was
WON-DER-FUL.
*big smile*
i get to be crew tomorrow.
yeah....
i'm gonna trapzee and fly.

i had a wonderful dream last nite.
a dream of you and me.


if only i didn't have to wake up.



so sorry to throw my tantrum at you.
you were right.
you hardly get mad at me.
*shrugs*

a perfect day.

i'm freaking pissed today.
made my way to one end of east coast for training.
rushed down in a cab.
only to reach there and realized nobody's there yet.
you told me at 10 to be there by 11.
reached at 12.
received a call at 12.05.
"training's cancelled. we're still in school."
you had been in school the whole time and u only called to tell me that at 12~!!
how sweet can dat be.
how last freaking minute could dat be.
no one bothered to keep me up with any info i guess.
ya.so it's my fault that i dun take pw and din have to be in school.
so it's my fault dat nobody kind enough could let me noe wad's happening.
thanks alot.

walked out of nsc alone.
1.8km.
under the freaking hot afternoon sun
and i din get to sail.
damn.


silly girl misses her teddy bear.
loads.

don't regret what has happened.
things happen and people move on.


the times we spent and fond memories would always be with me.
love my teddy bear.


no regrets.

I never could've seen this far
I never could've seen this coming
Seems like my world's falling apart

Why is everything so hard
I don't think I can deal with the things you said
It just won't go away

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You would still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through

I pictured I could bring you back
I pictured I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way
Without you I just can't find my way

I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go

i had enough.
damn it.
enough is enough.

I'd like to think I'll be happy again, but I really need to stop & cry right now.
It feels like one of those days where I feel like crying, so I do.
But no tears fall from my eyes, my heart is crying & that is so much worse.

Cold, crying, wanting to get away..
screaming and bleeding..
need to breathe...
gotta get away. smashing, crashing..
throwing my self away.

I draw a pretty picture
I draw it with a twist
I draw it with a razorblade
I draw it on my wrist.

how you hurt yourself on the inside to try to kill the thing on the outside.
You asked me what's wrong and I said nothing.
But as I turned and walked away, a tear ran down my cheek.
I whispered everything.


there's only one word on my mind now.
sigh.
i dun even feel dat i can smile.
dun even feel good.
at all
think i have hit the lowest point of my mood.
sigh

to all my dearies and frens.
hang in there ok?
2 more weeks.

i HATE the way things are now.

i dislike my life at the present moment

Damn it. Screw it. F*** it.

nobody listens.
i'm on my own.

cant you see it.
i dun need anything more.



itz just you i want.

i only want things to be what it has always been.
that's all.
is it really that hard for you to understand?
why do u keep assuming.


damn


try to see it from my point of view will you.

sometimes you cant think about painful things
you cant make your mind focus on them
your brain just slips away


in physics, we learn that opposite attracts.
so that means two different individuals with two different thinkings and wants
should be together.
but that is not so.
life works in an odd way.
if you have too similar a character u argue.
if you have different characters, u argue too.
so what's up with this soulmate thing.
when and how do you know u found one?
soulmates should always just remain as soulmates.
dun try to go beyond that.
things wont work out.
chances of it working out is way low.
just forget it.


i hate to argue with you.