met up with wenjie at hall 3 today
to get our keys and do cleaning of our room
i FINALLY have a fren as my roomie.

we were having so much fun cleaning and getting the antenna right for the tv.
oh ya. wenjie broke the antenna though. oops.
reception at NTU sucks.
the only channel that we could receive REALLY clearly was TV3.
channel 5 and 8 had shadows...
it was like watching it in slow mo.

cant wait to decorate my room.
i think i'll finally have a cosy room.
and hall 3.
i'm just really happy.


i hope to lose 5kg asap.
help.
it was my resolution a year ago.
and i still havent.
i'm not gonna let myself down.
argh.

my 20th christmas.

a really wet christmas season this year.
and i love christmas.
how everything would feel so christmassy.
the joy of sharing the love and all.

my christmassy season started about a week ago w
hen i had to do shopping for everyone's pressies
spent alot this year.
it really din matter how much i spent...
it's weird..
but i just wanted everyone to be really happy.
it was all that matters, even if it meant going broke.

so there it was hunting high and low for the presents my loves wants.
from my mommy's 200 bucks pillow to baby's wallet to my little darling niece's minnie mouse vaccum cleaner.
it was shopping and shopping all the way till sat.
spent big bucks.
but i've yet to know the exact amount cause everything was paid for by card.
i'm so dead when the bill arrives.

mommy daddy totally forgot to get me a present.
but surprisingly, i was expecting it.
this christmas has really been a more giving one than receiving....
and it feels good.
weird yet good.
maybe it's cause of the extra cash i got. hence the spending.

oh well. so sat was spend with andy's family.
sentosa cove.
it was a lifestyle i think i'll never get used to.
always felt that it's.... out of my league.
but i love my boy... i'll learn to live it.

christmas eve.... a wet wet christmas eve.
went to my aunt's house for dinner..
played with my little darling.
and she came over to stay.

christmas day was also spent with da little monsta.
running round my house.
pestering me to play with her.
she's a pest. hah...a really adorable and annoying pest.



















it's been a nice year.
results wasnt great but good enough.
did wish it was better.
but i'll just work harder.

going down to school to collect my hall keys tmr.
life been's great.
seems to be going smoothly.
i need to thank You.

rain rain go away.....

wanted to go out with jess dear.
but it just keeps pouring and pouring and pouring
and that just really dampens our mood.

if only singapore was just alittle colder.
then it would have been snow instead.
how nice..


i dun mind a cool weather.
but this rain is just killing.

my boy called and ask if i could meet him tonight.
and bring nice food.

he has been starved for the last 4 days.
poor boy.

cant wait to meet him.
i'll bring yummy yummy food ok?


there are so many things i wanna buy.
but i seem to lack the moolahs...
christmas christmas~!!!

Outward Bound School II

Day 2's night activity was SOLO nightwalk.

it sounded quite harmless..
a walk in the forest at night.
with only the moonlight as your light.
gosh.
ALONE.

i hate things like these.
it's worst when you have to wait for your turn to enter the forest.
the instructors told us to follow the glow-in-the-dark lightsticks.
does it make me less scared?
not really.

so i waited for about 30 mins for my turn.
couldn't find the entrance to the forest.
all the entries point look the same..
i started panicking...

and so i entered..and followed.
it was scary.
walked about 15m.
and i met up with my frens.
bottleneck i supposed.
waiting for part II of the night walk.
was expecting a tunnel walk.

but when it was my turn to be brought to the tunnel??
it was a freaking ring kinda well tunnel.
i seriously started freaking out.

had to climb down a ladder and crawl.
in a pitch dark tunnel.
worst when the instructors told me..
THERE WILL BE DIFFERENT PATHS.
if you choose the right one... you'll exit at somewhere that look like the entrance.
AHHhhh.....so many paths???
help.
but ha.. in the end.. it was only ONE SHORT crawl.
but it was a bad enough scare.

i'm happy i completed it.
but ask me to do it again..
i may not dare.

sorry about the OBS part II

its taking awhile..but i got lazy.

i was a sad girl yesterday
but am a happy girl today.

went out with viv darling yesterday and we checked out forever 21.
i found a top i really liked.
only to find out they din have Small.
to think the stock came in ONLY yesterday morning.
asked the sales girl if they could check with the vivo outlet
and she told me that both stores carry different stocks???
ok so i went home feeling sad.

i went to check the online store!
and they only had Large left.

so this morning...
i woke up feeling really bu kan yuan
so i made my way down to vivo before meeting the girls
i combed the whole store....

and i FOUND IT~!!!!
they had 2 S left.
only 2.... phew...
but instead of just JUST getting my 50 bucks top.
i ended up getting a 60 bucks denim 3 quarts too...
heh...i blew 110 bucks. JUST LIKE THAT.
wun-der-ful....

=)
so it was dinner with the girls w/o wen at swensens.
yummy.
and the catching up... ya-da ya-da ya-da.
wanted to head to minds cafe.
but they had a private event today. OF ALL DAYS.

so we settled for chill out at the nearest uni THERE.
how sad.
love my girls though.
we have all grew up...
views and thinking changed..
i dunno if that is good or bad.
but i still love you all.

Outward Bound School.

my very first OBS.
and probably my one and only one..

hah....too many mozzies and ants for me to take it.
my lastest updated count was 72.
Amazing eh?
i'm SHOCKED.

my left hand had about 20.
and so did my right.
the rest were scattered around my legs
to my ass... and my lower back.

i was wondering how they bit me since i DID wear track pants.
then...
andy told me that they actually are able to penetrate the clothing
AHHHHHHH
din help that my sister's track pants were a little thinner than those thick woolly ones.

so day ONE was the meet at punggol jetty.
the mozzies started attacking me from then on. =(
wenjie and i were in the group which was great.
too bad anna was separated. YUP..there were only 2 groups. of 14 each.
so we had to PADDLE across to UBIN from the JETTY.
gosh. i was expecting a ferry ride larz.
luckily i had breakfast.
so we did managed to survive the paddling then it was settling down FOR AWHILE.
before kayaking to our FIRST campsite.
I HATE KAYAKING.

FIRST CAMPSITE was some old former granite quarry...by the sea.
it was terrible.
had to cook in the dark.
pee in the woods.
take powder baths
and sleep on hard pokey granite rocks.
i wanted to scream...
i could see sengkang from where i was...
HOME~!!!!!!
and so that night was a very hard nite rest on sharp rocks poking my back
with ants and mozzies attacking my FEET and hands.

woke up to a really cold morning on DAY 2
burnt my baobei sailing cap while trying to warm it by the fire. -damn sad can-
it was THE cap that i u-turned during a race to pick it up when the wind blew it off my head.
day 2 was also the sea expedition.
we went along the jelutong swamp
which means we got stuck at mangroves.
meandered along lotsa meanders.
got lost.
and finally exited at the northern part of ubin.
kayaked the entire north and western part of the island back to OBS.
never felt happier to see OBS.
finally got to take a shower and set of trekking to our next campsite.

will continue later....
starting to feel it's a little LOooooooong.....

MOZzies and Ants

it's been quite an interesting 4 days.
i'm covered in mozzy and ant bites now.
last count was 40.
yes...it seems that THEY like me alot.
i'm sucked dry man.

itching like CRAZEEEEEEE
and i'm trying hard not to scratch.
although some have already bled. -mommy and andy is so gonna scold me-
damn it. more scars.

i'll blog about OBS later.
waiting for the andy to come over
to join me for dinner.
i'm starving.......

hurry come!!

the sweet ass is coming straight from ulu boon lay.
miss him so much...
to think that i was at pulau ubin
and he was at pulau tekong.
argh...


i wanna eat ice cream
and ooo chomp chomp...here i come!!

maybe you're right.

i can learn to love living life like this.

a bbq by the sea.
on a boat.
with the beautiful night skyline of shenton.
with the wonderful sea breeze.

sitting on the pontoon and eating?
yum.

it's a pity..
i will never be able to buy a boat on my own.
never.

you know..

sometimes...
i just wished time would hurry up FLY
damn it fly...

so that andy could finish army soon.

i hate to see him so tired and stressful
and it doesnt help that he's always so prone to falling sick.
and it's worst when he's stuck in the "i'm gonna fall sick but i'm still capable of pushing myself" state.

it hurts.
army is supposed to make boys become man.
but seriously...
boys will be boys.
so just quit making their lives so difficult.

it was supposed to be a happy day.

exams are over.
my FIRST uni exams.
and i HATE it...

heh...gotta start getting used to it though.

today's phy geog was crappy.
hahha... everything that i studied with wenjie yesterday was USELESS.
ok...except for those bits with discussed randomly and briefly.
haha... not a single question i did today was related to anything i've read recently.
i think every piece of it.. was based on my JC knowledge.
crapping here and there?
smoking here and there. hahhaah
rocks big time. no pun intended.

*cross my finger and hope to do OK*


came out of the examination hall all happy and smiles.
was loving the day and enjoying every moment of it.


till it all happened.
it's just so frustrating how misunderstandings can lead to one thing and another.
it's cumulative.
and you get so mad you refuse to admit its your fault.

little assumptions.
little misinterpretations.
little things that leads to one big quarrel.

life is shit when it's like that.
it never was supposed to be.

maybe i'm being selfish.
but do you also understand how i feel?

maybe i shouldnt have
maybe i should have.
i dunno.

since you said you din want me to call.
i wont.
or should i?
i'm starting to lose the ability to understand you.
or maybe i din understand you right from the beginning.
maybe i just cant.


its supposed to be a happy day.
but i'm not smiling.

the music some soothing dancy song...

it was a sunny afternoon.
people were just walking pass each other without stopping.
a busy stretch of road outside wisma.

and there they were.
holding each other and dancing to the song.
enjoying each other's company.
kissing.

like what we always see on the dance floor of a romantic movie....


it was really sweet.
i guess.
i just couldnt understand how they did it
in the middle of orchard road...
where everyone was looking...

it was out of place.
but it was really lovely.
it just seemed that the world belonged to them.
and only them.

the way they danced
the way they only had eyes for each other.
everything else din matter for they had each other.


it was an odd sight.
but it was still the most lovely scene ever.

whoever said uni was a breeze has gotta be telling the biggest lie.

i remembered when i was taking my Os..
a teacher said we should work hard get into a good JC and all is well.

i believed.
JC sucked.
and there it is again...
teacher after teacher saying that As is the worst it can get.
uni exams are a breeze.

once again...
i feel darn cheated?
or maybe its just the course i'm in.

geez....
a teacher taking exam. such an irony i feel.
i really tot it would have been the end of it all after the dreadful exams one year ago.



the weather is really cooooooling now.
how nice would it be to cuddle under my nice blankie.

but oh no...
me gonna go take a SHOWER soon...
and with my coffee.....
shall try to mug hard on alg.


a part of me still love maths.
someone just slap me and ask me to wake up.
please......

i'm very upset with my calculus paper.
knowing that i could have done it
but at that instance...

i just couldnt.

how many times had this happen??
darn it


worst still...
i have a geog paper in less than 20 hours.
yet to prepare for it.
and i'm in NO mood to.

i hate myself.

even though it was a mere an hour and a half
of coming all the way down from home
soley to accompany me and make sure i was ok.


...it meant alot
the rest of the mugging day seems a whole lot better.
thanks baby~!

barely a week to my very FIRST uni exam.

but here i'm battling with...

1) a really itchy and runny nose.
2) keeping the cruched up tissues ON the table
3) a pretty painful stomachache.
4) my chapters and CHAPTERS of maths.
5) memorizing the "WTF" PROVINGS of maths forumulaes.

it doesnt help that...

1) i cannot understand anything.
2) my brain is not functioning well.
3) i have been doing this for 3 straight days
4) i hate whatever the crap they want me to prove~!!!
5) i have a cup of awful vitamin C water next to me.

i'm going crazy cause...

1) i set my EXAM timetable as my desktop backdrop.
2) i have a exam countdown sheet in my pencilbox.
3) i only see f(x)s and dy/dx and limits= limits=......
4) i blasting music that i usually dun listen to
5) i fear very badly that i'll fail my maths modules.



can you understand my pain?

exams are in a week.
havent started studying at all.
been busy with my essay.

went to search for the past years papers yesterday.
i'm stunned.
read thru the maths paper and i can barely do even ONE question.
geography din seem easy too.

i've never been this scared.
maybe its cause of the among of responsiblity i have now.
there's no room for failure.
geez....

dun tell me that i can practice maths..
cause its not about practicing anymore.
if only it was that simple.
i wish.


pray for me.
things are so uncertain now.

i swear time flies SUPER fast...
like WHEE~! SHORT and fast......

it wasnt too long ago that i found myself struggling to adapt to uni life.
den again.

i still havent really gotten used to it yet.
i'm always still running away from hall back to home sweet home.
i've no idea why i've suddenly grown so attached to home...
when 2 years back...i remembered saying i cant wait to go uni and start hall life.

still struggling badly with academic issues too.
MATHS.
come someone kindly tell me..
WHY THE HELL did i take maths.

2 quizzes in 2 days.
tmr is the next.
planned to stay in hall to study tonight.
but i was on the verge of tears when i sat there for barely 30mins.
that's why i'm running back home again.
nothing feels better then home.

the only thing working against me at home is the TV.
nevermind. i know i can fight it.

barely 2 weeks to my first paper.
god bless me.
i'm still stuck in the maze of algebra and calculus.

it's really upsetting to know that
when ONE ignored the fact that she had tons of work to do...
and was really really tired and drained.
and gave up sleeping
just to complete something to save her group's presentation.

ONLY to find out later
that someone removed all her hard work.
zlich is left of that night's work in the slides ok?.
fuck.
wad did i stay up for?
ass.

i dunno to be angry or upset.
took the initiative to be nice to f***ing do something about it
and this is wad i get???
group presentation??
wtf.
i really wished i was given the option to choose my own members.
i hate this.



the village @ heeren.
blasting mambo night songs in nic's car.
starbucks @ holland.v
the talks.
ride round a quarter of singapore.

yet another friday night.
i love the freedom i'm getting.
i can learn to live this life.

to you: please stop drinking.
wake up and look around...
people that care for you are hurting.

to xf: you were the best. thanks for saving my lappie top.

retail therapy rocks.
one skirt. one sweater. one berms.
150 bucks.

yum.

loved the time with my girls and my boy.
vivo is nice.