ahh....
the guy who is singing some i dunno what performance
should just QUIT singing.
out of tune.
out of pitchless.
hey mister...you're tone deaf~!!
and i wanna sleep.
stop it stop it stop it~!!
*bangs my head*

my stomach's hurt.
i feel like vomitting.
in fact i already did.
i'm tired.
dehydrated.
charred.
but it has been a rather nice weekend.
racing.
good and bad races.
fun and not fun times.
oh wellz.


seeing all the "black" faces in school today was really cute.
all the drained and tired bodies.
all the poor lil team mates of mine.
hope u guys recover soon~!!
oh wellz...
met viv and andy for dinner at chomp chomp.
miss them sooooooooo much.

just came back from school
yawns...i just wanna sleep now.
i've gotten darker and redder again.
training was tiring yesterday.
i think i'm tired from training because of the boat pulling and not the sailing.
gosh. all the freaking tyres are flat.
not a single one is in good condition.
seriously...flat tyres and steep soft sand is not a good combi.
where's the new seitechs?!!?


haha....found out something today.
*grinz*

woke up three hours ago.
and i'm feeling tired already.


but i need to start studying? man.


met edwin yesterday.
with the cap on...
so typical of every ns boy out from camp.


training was pretty fun yesterday.
thanks for draggin me into the sea.
ouch.

today seems like the only day so far this year dat i spent with a smile constantly.
i'm just feeling a little tired.
and cold.


first thing i heard this morning.
was the odds of us winning the championships.
as usual the power house VJ already have the champion place reserved for them.
but izzit really that hard to get 2nd?
MJ, TJ, RJ, TP.
we need a good coach. someone like tracey.
a miracle.
i wanna win.
i want it so badly.
do we really have to have weelee as a coach?
where's tracey.

Happy BirTHday bAby~!!


sailing. studying. sleeping.
its only 3 major things to do in my present life.
but i already find it mentally draining.
i wonder how am i gonna pull through the year.


i hate my geog teacher. squarepants.
cant teach for nuts. i'm not being evil or mean here.
but it's just a fact. ask any geog student
*roll eyes*


feel a sense of detachment from all my frens.
it just feels as though...
we are on a diff wavelength already.
i need to move out of my comfort zone.
but i dun wan to. i miss my darlings.


seems like most of my frens been pretty down lately.
not a good start for the year.


hey dear...
dun cry anymore ok?
hurts me to see you upset.
hurts all of us to see you so down.
i know its hard to let go...no one ever said it was easy.
but think it through hard....is it worth holding on to and waiting for?
you know it for yourself. and only you yourself is in control dear.
be strong girl....i'll always be here for you k.
*hugs*


lijie darling...
you too...
dun be so upset. dun be so angsty.
sorry for getting you such a screwed up job.
sorry for not being there for you.
smile more girl...
it'll make your day...i'll make other's day.
its not nice to go round with a sulky face.
no one likes seeing an unhappy you.
i know how it feels when it seems like the whole world is against you.
like every single thing just goes wrong.
but sweetie....dat's life...so dun let it bring you down.
try to face everything with a smile on ya face.
i would love to see a big big smile on ya face.
wadeva it is on ya mind....i hope you sort it out soon.
dun think so much. dun always think so much.
it makes one upset.
when u wanna do something...just get it over and done with.
thinking more and sorting things out more doesnt really help.
in fact it makes u feel worst.
i'll always be a phone call away or sms away.
love you dear....*big big hug*


viv....
sorry for not calling you...but you can always call me ok?
i noe you hate it at work too....
but bear with it larz... there's no such thing as a perfect job.
i'm so sorry i havent been there for you too...
anything. and i mean anything...you can call me.
anytime. beebee loves you.
*smuacks*


jiehui...
slacker~!!!
happy counting your kaching kaching.
hahaha....
i miss seeing you around in school~!!...
that cheeky grin on ya face everytime you see me.
oh yeah.....you've grew a teeny weeny bit chubbier.
but you're still so adorable.~!!!
lurve you~!


buddy~!!
help me take care of those two ok?
hard on you to always having to be the mediator.
dui bu qi.
miss you darling.
it really feels weird to not being able to see you every other day.
i guess i have really taken you for granted for the last 2 years.
sigh. i lurve you too silly boy.


alvyn.
i actually miss your crap and bullshit.
your angsty shit. your mat nonsense.
thanks for being there for me.
JC life would have been quite different without you.
thanks for being part of it.
no doubt you've made a huge impact in my life the last 2 years.
all the best in NS dear... =)

many have been telling me i've changed quite a bit over this few years.
from the compromising sweet girl..
to a short and hot tempered girl.
it seemed to be getting worst as the days goes by.
i just cant seem to be able to control my temper anymore.
is it influence?
or is it just me?
whatever it is.
sorry to all who have to bear with me.

i finally got down to cutting my hair.
after like.....3 years.
wow.
i feel so much at ease now.
but i miss my nice hair colour.
with the brown streaks that graudually ends with a nice tone of golden.
tataz hair.
but hey...i got to keep like the nice part.
hahahaha......
my bundle of hair.
itz looks ridiculous and scary though.
like i'm into voodoo or something. =)


it was a mistake to meet.
i'll just stick to seeing you in my dreams

thought i would be happy,
but it all turned out otherwise.
it was a terrible time.
but i'm still glad it happened.

school's just not right without all of you.
and this is just the beginning.

my time table actually looks kinda disgusting.
with 30 breaks out of 67 periods.
i end school pretty early too.
other then tues. i end before 3 everyday.
esp on a wed.
i end at 945?! and i got sailing at 2.
how nice.
but i actually hope it stays this way.
i kinda like it.

my uniform's ironed.
my shoes are out.
my bag's packed.
homework's not done.
school's tmr.
heading to bed after shower.
fuck i need to wake up at 530 tmr.
my average waking up time for the last two months is 9am.
damnit.


just came back from grace's house.
i had a whole load of great fun.
tons and tons of it.
thanks mr ng. thanks buddy. thanks sailors.
itz gonna be so awkward going to school tmr.
the familar faces wouldnt be around.
i will miss my buddy alot alot.

its raining heavily on new year day morning.
wonderful.
i'm heading back to my bed.

2005 is here. nothing much to feel about it.
its not like its a year to look forward to.
or is it?
2004 has been a rather great year.
there have been highs and low.
its just exhilarating.
i wouldnt change the past year though.
things happen for a reason.
made new friends. new relationships.
although somewhere along the 2004 track, i lost some too.
in fact. i kinda love 2004.
my sailing team mates. lijie. sera. viv. wei. wenz. prisc. jiehui. alv. ys. bing. and everybody else. thanks for being part of my life in 2004.
i've changed quite a bit over this year.
for good...and for bad.
sorry to those who have to tolerate my unreasonable mood swings.
sorry to those who always have to cheer me up.
i will miss those days i spent with my buddy at the sailing table.
i will miss the times i always get to see lijie and sera.
i will miss those familar faces around school.
2005 is gonna be real different for me.
gotta adapt myself to the new enviroment without my friends.
a whole new change, in my life.
to all my dears, greatest thanks for always been there for me, esp lijie, sera, viv and andy.
love ya all.


my only resolution for this year.
study freaking hard.
farewell 2004. hello 2005.

80 000 and still counting
this is one hell of a depressing way to end the year.
a moment of silence to those who have perished and lost their loved ones in this tragedy.
hope the coming new year would be kinder to them.


3 days to school.
fuck.

i feel like joining some volunteer group.
fly to thailand. help them.
and not come back.

jiehui wrote this on her blog "abby made us nice cookies.. as usual. although she was the only one among us who didnt take home econs, her sewing and cooking/ baking seems to be the best... "


geez. thanks dear. hahah...

Grace cut her hair~!!!! REAL SHORT~!
but she looks nice. heh.
it kinda resembles bing.
in fact quite a bit.
oh great. this is just Perfect with a big P. =p


you said you aint ready to talk to me.
why the sudden change of mind?
i'm just surprised.

i din get to meet ya today.
it was rather disappointing.
oh wellz.


i took a bus that went along joo seng road
i realized the community centre was there no more.
our trainings. our matches. our joy. our sorrow.
games after games.
i miss basketball. i miss my team.
i miss those days.

i just remembered~!
i meeting you later tonight
*big big smile*

just woke up with a bad headache.
argh. angst.
feel like going over to play with my niece again.
that cute little shat.
but i need to go meet andy and viv for lunch.
if i dun turn up today, i'm gonna get it so bad from them.
i've been warned.


its tues. that makes it wed thurs fri sat sun left?
5 days to school.
oh no.

scenes of the aftermath of the tsunamis flooded the papers and news.
its just so tragic.
a nice christmas gift. a nice holiday season.
one moment they are enjoying the blistering sun and cooling waters.
the next. searching for their loved ones and saving their own lives.
mother nature sure has her weird way of showing us her strength and dominance.


met up with jiehui and serena for dinner.
laughed till my stomach hurt. she's still the crazy girl i've always known.
hope you find a nice job girl. duck and hippo tour guide? ha
i miss my st nicks days.


met my buddy and viv too.
and they ganged up against me.
that's so sweet of them huh.
supposed to go for a movie but everything was sold out.
to think that i tot town would be less crowded on a monday night.
crowds sucks.
shopping actually seemed pretty fun afterall.
i got a nice pair of jeans. *yesh*


i had a great day, a great night.
but it was all short lived.
when someone ruined it all at the last moment.
why did you have to take the smile away from me?

christmas party at my aunt's place was great..
food was nice...but there was far too much food.
too much leftovers. sigh.
what a waste of food.
i dun like wasting food. argh.
my little niece is as adorable as ever.
she's just a bundle of joy.
love the way she smiles. the way she clings onto me.
the way she speaks. the way she sings.
just love her loads.
brought home bags of presents *big big smile*
heh...this is one great christmas.


all but my one last wish.

woke up with a great big smile this morning.
my last christmas wish was partially fulfilled.
in my dreams last nite. *santa did a half-job huh*
so dun wanna wake up.
wanna remain in dream land.
i hope it comes true.
i will sleep early tonight.
so i can meet u in my dreams again.


do dreams come true?
i wish it would.

boy am i glad to be at home.
chilling with my nice warm cup of hot chocolate.
town was packed. with people with cars.


2 hours to christmas.
one last thing on my wishing list.
i hope i would wake up tmr morning with what i really want.
wishing hard it would be fulfilled.
my last wish.
love you.
merry christmas to all~!

it christmas eve~!!
and i'm baking cookies...
whee....smells good.
yum~!

just came back from shopping with viv and lijie.
geez...wanted to check out the mango sale.
but boy... it was just bombarded with aunties digging and throwing the clothes around.
i cant believe they could actually queue up to try the clothes.
i dun think i have that patience.
its freaking long.
ended up at zara trying skirts and tops (without queuing)
found something nice. something dat doesnt seem very me.
hmm....still considering if i should get it.
ha.....finally got my bro and sis presents.
they love their presents.
thanks to me.


shopping with viv dear can be so torturous at times.
she makes you walk ALOT.
dat indecisive girl.
ha...me and lijie just couldnt help but laugh at her.
should have recorded her choosing her shoes for prom.
ha.....classic comedy.
thanks for bringing so much JOY and LAUGHTHER girl.
love ya.~!

i hate it when pple make assumptions.
congrats that u're seeing somebody.
wheee....*clap*
i'm NOT WAITING for you.
understood?
*smiles*
stop making me angsty.
thanks.


heh....my foot still look a little purplish.
hmmm...a little numb too.
haha...my poisoned foot.
i almost burst out laughing when i saw the doctor drew a pic of my left foot on my records.
and highlighting my toe where it was bitten.
his drawing sucks...
hahahha....and he drew the wrong foot at first.
noob.

breakfast was nice.
thanks grace, mich, ven and edgar.
the serangooners.
hahah.....


and as usual.
certain pple would ruin my day again.
wadeva it is.
gonna go shopping with viv soon.
gotta join the last min shopping crowds.
ARGH~!


tmr's christmas eve...
hohoho.~!

i hate this world.

i dun like it when my mom is upset.
i dun like it when i see my dad fussing over monetary matters.
i dun like it when pple abuses the kindness of another.
i detest pple like dat.
i hate reality
hard work never pays off.
its just that unfair.
always.


fuck the world.
i hate this world.
i just wish armaggedon would be tmr.
and the world would start from scratch.
back to the beginning of the big bang.

just woke up after taking medication.
after effects of the jab sure made me one drowsy shat.
i actually managed to be totally knocked out for one hour at NSC yesterday.
the freaking painkillers are not working much lor.
my feet still hurt.
STUPID dunno wad. prob catfish
sting me~!!
cost me my training. and having to make me go thru this pain.
hurts like F***
so far i've only seen the sailors getting stung by jellyfish.
think i'm like one of the few LUCKY ones to get it by the catfish.
ARGH....try hammering a thumbtack into your toe.
that's how freaking painful it is~!!!


thanks for the christmas present fishy.


managed to keep myself awake and drag myself to changi for my class chalet after
the training jab and sleep.
played truth or dare...but everybody had to choose dare.
wad was the forfeit?
walk around this freaking scary isolated, creepy house.
it was terrible.
it was just like a scene taken of a horror movie.
and we had to take photos with the windows as a background.
damn.

went for a shopping spree with my parents today.
my mom got me a top for AX.
another from zara.
and almost got me this skirt i like.
she wanted to get me shoes too
i told her i'll wait till after christmas den i'll think about it.
its crazy.
i hardly get anything for myself when i go out with my frens.
but when i'm out with my parents, the number of bags i had to carry is shit larz.
moral of the story: go out with ya parents.
they pay for everything. HA~!


enough of shopping.
christmas is coming.
presents time~! =)

a week left to christmas.
a couple of days left to shopping for presents.
i got my muvo slim MP3~!!
ha...another strike off of my wishing list.
ha....one more thing left.
my samsung E700
*cross my fingers*
hope my parents get that for me.
*grinz*

think i'm gonna think twice about studying photojournalism.
shutter is scary.


my mood swings are getting from bad to worse.
but seriously,
i dun give a damn.


so stop pissing me off.
fine. i won't talk to you~! satisfied??

my teddy bear's back~!!!
this is one rather good morning.

i got my nice white sweater.
lurve it.
ha..the sales guy was really adorable.
think he just started out working.
he seemed so panicky and worried.
constantly apologising to me and asking me to give him a little more time just so he could find the size i wanted.
take your time man. its ok.
when he finally got it.
this group of working ladies were staring at me.
apparently their fren wanted the size i was trying on.
but the sales guy told them i had priority~!
caused i asked him first. *thumbs up*
oh wellz...in the end decided to be nice and let the lady have the piece i was holding on to and went back to the other outlet at taka to try to get the size i want.
couldnt stand the stares anymore...and din really wanna fight for it.
phew..last piece there...and i got it.
*big big smile*


there's still so many things i wanna get though.
more shopping for me.

i'm unsure of how i feel towards you.
but i will sort it out soon.
give me a little more time.
and we'll be frens again.


yeah...sera just msg me to tell me she got my sneakers,
with a mixture of dark blue, light blue and white.
hope its e right one.
one more down from my wishing list.
cant wait for her to return from hong kong. ha~!
the weather's been soooo cold...
itz nice to sleep.
also tells me its the christmas season.
hohoho.....
i wanna get everything on my wish list.
can someone rich get me my wants.
pretty please.

151485..whee..dat's me and my nooblet boat. hah...i cant see myself. but its good enough. my sail..nice and big..~!

finally my major regattas have come to an end.
resting time. *yeah*
not bad...finished 28th in open category and 10 in ladies division.
quite satisfied. gotta work harder though.
screwed up here and there...
but 2nd and 3rd day races were rather good.
managed to finish in top 20.
*big smile*
won school team 2nd and club 2nd...
yippeeeeee.....great.....


met someone over the weekend.
it had been awkward
and seemed rather unpleasant.
but it was still nice to see you~!
miss ya loads man.
but its just seem weird.
sigh.
wad's wrong with me?
occasional thoughts of hoping to have you back seem unrealistic.


i will just wish and not hope.

it's been a disappointing day.
*sticks tongue out*
first day of laser open sucks.
screwed up big time.
thanks to a wun-der-ful full rig who decided to cover me for my start.
no wind....got covered.
=p dead.
its ok. tomorrow's a brand new day.
must sail really well tmr....
and pray hard they have 8 races by sunday.
den i can say bye bye and discard the two noob races today.
*cross my fingers*


i miss you. miss you. miss you. miss you~!!!!!!!!

feeling fucked up.
enough said.
*big smile*

it seems that i'm always the cause of everything.
its always my fault.
so if i i cease to exist, the world would definately be a better place.
maybe not the world, but just the life of pple i made a havoc on.
i'm sorry i existed.
blame me.

i just wished you could stop mentioning his name.
its really weird to keep hearing it.
i so dun wanna be reminded of him.
it gives me diz weird feeling inside.
a weird awful feeling dat i dun like.



the wind's still blowing strong.
one more day to last.
i'm tired.
and next week's gonna be worst.
hahah.....edgar's food regime of stuffing myself with loads of proteins and carbo is killer.
meat. rice. bread. burp.




i really need a brainwash.
like start my life from scratch.
there are so many things i wished i could like delete off from my brain memory.
trying so hard to fight thinking about it.
but it just doesnt wanna go away.
persistent memories.
good and bad.
memories kill you unknowingly.
the silent killer from the inside.



i'm missing my teddy bear.
wonder when it would be back.

the mat vs the ah beng.
the hip hop vs the rocker.
the better performer vs the popular one.
may the more talented one wins.


taufik won~!
i guess singaporeans are not blinded by that smile afterall.

finally got down to signing up for final theory.


regattas coming up. yeah.
gotta win the team division.


2 more weeks to the end of my shit job. *big smile*

the first time i talked to you.
i mistook you as a sailor from tj.
those eyes of yours really attracted my attention.
that was almost a year ago.


you said you wanted breakfast too.
and i got it for you.
you started cracking your lame jokes.
and the crappy video clip of the guy jumping off the cliff.
your classic boat. our chats out at sea.
sailing next to each other. yakking away before the race started.
we started trying to capsize each other.
playing pirates out at sea.
i sailed ur full rig back, you sailed my radial.
that was june this year.


you lent me your burgee.
coming down to nsc with ur green uniform and tie with it.
u were stranded in school and had to take a pink slip.
heh. you din noe how much i was depending on it.
alliance from tp with andy and jp.
last day of interschool.
you forgot about bringing change.
and i had to endure sitting next to dirty you.
thru the traffic jam at eunos.
and we started playing with your phone.


soon we started hanging out like crazy.
dinner at chomp chomp. chilling in town.
me you my buddy.
the first time u held my hand.
was to reassure me that everything would be all right.
it was really nice. i remember keeping it out of sight from somebody.
den three soon became two.


our killer spicy dinner at bugis.
our long 1 hr waiting for 70 at suntec.
the dinners at gardens.
the scary movie where we both kinda regretted watching.
the bus rides home, not letting me get down at my stop.
always ending up at jalan kayu.
you came down specially to pick me up after my test, just to accompany me home.
it was great to have your company.


bringing me lotsa food when i wasnt feeling well.
national day.
9th august.


memories kinda played back in my today.
constantly.
probably cause i was at bugis.
the place we always end up at.
somehow, i really miss u recently.


i wonder if i made a mistake one month ago.
but what done cant be undone.
or could it?
was i blinded by anger?

went for supper at jalan kayu.
burp.
it was yummy-licious.
ice tea was nice. prata was all right.
havent ate much the whole day. was starving~!!
supper just made my stomach real happy.

ur company was greatly appreciated today.
training has never been this fun since a long time.
a full pasta lunch, going down to bedok, rigging up, racing with each other, kicking my burgee into the sea, washing my seaweed attacked boat, pulling the lousy trolley back, walking out to the bus stop, stoning on the bus, a satisfiying dinner followed by a stroll in town.
thanks buddy.
those were the days.




somehow i really wished i could have you by my side tonight.
where's my teddy bear when i really want it.
guess i'll just stick to my comfy blanket.
zzz.

12 hours ago i was intoxicated.
12 hours later.
my mood turned upside down.
and it's all thanks to you.
i'm flustered. exasperated. disappointed. aghast.
right now. at this present moment.
i really hate you.
for ruining my day.
i saved it for you. i waited the entire day.
and you just spoilt it all.
you can be such a jerk at times.
argh.




i hate myself because of you.

Do not look back and ponder over what might have been,
Nor be troubled about the year ahead for it has yet to come.
Live today to the fullest and make it beautiful so that it will be worth remembering.



i wonder how you're doing.
how's things been for you since then.
get well soon dear.
miss that sparkling eyes of yours

yeah. finally changed my blogskin.
and i think its finally nice.
more like me.
blue blue blue.
and more blue.

i'm bruised.
i'm shagged.


420 was just great fun man.
the sun was scorching.
the wind was pretty strong.
the sea was not that choppy.
a perfect day for my two-men boat.
my crew rocks.
we had lotsa fun.
from laughing at our stupid mistakes to almost capsizing.
from leading the fleet to overtaking the last few boats.
the boat travelled faster den the powerboat.
ha. rox big time.
seeing my dear crew out of the boat.
sorta flying above the water.
wow.
enjoyed myself greatly man.
thanks jiayi~!
for being such a wonderful crew
sorry for screaming and shouting at you though.
sorry for making the both of us jump around the boat.
geez.

might be sailing in 420 permanently though.
dun really want it.
i do have a great partner
but i still like the laser.
be a lonesome sailor
just me and my darling nooblet boat.
ha.
let's hope i can sail both classes for interschool.
sounds crazy.
but i'll pray hard. ha


hope grace and mich will be fine.
dun be so affected sweeties.
it takes time to sail well.
cheer up.


i'm glad you found what you lost.
dun be so careless next time.
really got me worried for awhile.

i thought i wouldn't miss you
but i do
i really really do.
i was wrong.

my skin's burning.
my body's aching.
my eyes are puffy.
i'm dehydrated.

but 420 was great.
going at a really fast speed was
WON-DER-FUL.
*big smile*
i get to be crew tomorrow.
yeah....
i'm gonna trapzee and fly.

i had a wonderful dream last nite.
a dream of you and me.


if only i didn't have to wake up.



so sorry to throw my tantrum at you.
you were right.
you hardly get mad at me.
*shrugs*

a perfect day.

i'm freaking pissed today.
made my way to one end of east coast for training.
rushed down in a cab.
only to reach there and realized nobody's there yet.
you told me at 10 to be there by 11.
reached at 12.
received a call at 12.05.
"training's cancelled. we're still in school."
you had been in school the whole time and u only called to tell me that at 12~!!
how sweet can dat be.
how last freaking minute could dat be.
no one bothered to keep me up with any info i guess.
ya.so it's my fault that i dun take pw and din have to be in school.
so it's my fault dat nobody kind enough could let me noe wad's happening.
thanks alot.

walked out of nsc alone.
1.8km.
under the freaking hot afternoon sun
and i din get to sail.
damn.


silly girl misses her teddy bear.
loads.

don't regret what has happened.
things happen and people move on.


the times we spent and fond memories would always be with me.
love my teddy bear.


no regrets.

I never could've seen this far
I never could've seen this coming
Seems like my world's falling apart

Why is everything so hard
I don't think I can deal with the things you said
It just won't go away

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You would still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through

I pictured I could bring you back
I pictured I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way
Without you I just can't find my way

I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go

i had enough.
damn it.
enough is enough.

I'd like to think I'll be happy again, but I really need to stop & cry right now.
It feels like one of those days where I feel like crying, so I do.
But no tears fall from my eyes, my heart is crying & that is so much worse.

Cold, crying, wanting to get away..
screaming and bleeding..
need to breathe...
gotta get away. smashing, crashing..
throwing my self away.

I draw a pretty picture
I draw it with a twist
I draw it with a razorblade
I draw it on my wrist.

how you hurt yourself on the inside to try to kill the thing on the outside.
You asked me what's wrong and I said nothing.
But as I turned and walked away, a tear ran down my cheek.
I whispered everything.


there's only one word on my mind now.
sigh.
i dun even feel dat i can smile.
dun even feel good.
at all
think i have hit the lowest point of my mood.
sigh

to all my dearies and frens.
hang in there ok?
2 more weeks.

i HATE the way things are now.

i dislike my life at the present moment

Damn it. Screw it. F*** it.

nobody listens.
i'm on my own.

cant you see it.
i dun need anything more.



itz just you i want.

i only want things to be what it has always been.
that's all.
is it really that hard for you to understand?
why do u keep assuming.


damn


try to see it from my point of view will you.

sometimes you cant think about painful things
you cant make your mind focus on them
your brain just slips away


in physics, we learn that opposite attracts.
so that means two different individuals with two different thinkings and wants
should be together.
but that is not so.
life works in an odd way.
if you have too similar a character u argue.
if you have different characters, u argue too.
so what's up with this soulmate thing.
when and how do you know u found one?
soulmates should always just remain as soulmates.
dun try to go beyond that.
things wont work out.
chances of it working out is way low.
just forget it.


i hate to argue with you.

i just reached home from a long shopping spree with
sera viv and lijie.
boy oh boy was it tiring.
i seriously gotta salute sera for being able to walk around for so long in those crazy high heels of hers.
i couldnt even last 5 mins.
but it was really fun i guess.
sharing the same changing room.
trying i dunno how many skirts.
thanks dearies
had a great time.

i'm reinstated.
i get to officially sail again
yeah.

All the best to all my frens taking their A's.
good luck darlings.
study hard.
hang in there.
you guys will do just fine. *grinz*

i should be taking my A's too.
screw it.
i fucked my own life.

being at the end of the island.
surrounded only by sailboats sea and sand.
a place of peacefulness.
the stretch of long endless road to the bus stop.
i miss it.

"When I'm With You" - simple plan
I'm taking my time
I'm trying to leave the memories of you behind
I'm gonna be fine
As soon as I get your picture right out of my mind

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you
I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to
But everytime I call you don't have time
I guess I'll never get to call you mine

You're nothing at all, I know theres a million reasons why I shouldn't call
With nothing to say, could easily make this conversation last all day

Another lesson I didn't get to learn
Your my obsession
I've got nowhere to turn

a sudden sense of emptiness and uncertainty just swept pass me.
hitting me real hard.
no explaination to why i'm feeling this way.

i wont let myself be crestfallen.
smile girl.

i really miss my teddy bear.

good things always have to come to an end.
itz time to wake up from my sweet dream
and leave the fairytale land.

i wanna be peter pan.
and stay in neverland.

two pple successfully ruined my sat evening.
i'm angsty.
i'm pissed.
now i'm stuck at home.
watching tv all alone
when i'm supposed to be out with my former class.
gosh.
this sucks.

i felt like a lil princess diz morning.
although you were really late..
still thanks for waking up extra early to send me to school
the car ride was great.
except when you started doing it.
when will you stop?

i still love my teddy bear.

open house was a blast.
alison rocks.
edgar's band rox.

finally putting an end to it
was harder than i thought it would be.
your reaction in fact
was the hardest to accept.
its weird the way things turn out.
this sense of numbness in me.
the failure of it all.


wheee....i got back all my results.
finally.
EEF.
sucky.
but i made it.
*phew*

thanks to those who has always been there for me..
praying hard for me.
being there for me when things were rough.
viv. sera. lijie. buddy. edgar. grace. ven. mich.
yewsong. my classmates and everybody else...love ya guys. =)

i owe cj a treat.
at marche's
oh great.

for being the special person you always are.
for going the extra mile to put a smile on my face.



i'm glad i knew you.

thanks.

love you

every minute we spent together.
i wont forget.

met viv sera and lijie today.
they were mugging.
maths econs chem..
wadeva it was
and i was just doddling as usual.
great seeing viv..
miss you darling.

i'm still waiting.

this is really taking ages.

still waiting for my results.


this is really taking quite sometime.
hurry pls.

i'm scared.

sailing was awesome.
the sun. the sea. the salty air.
sailed a really long stretch to some really distant buoy where the ships dock.
the air was still.
the sea was calm.
and i was just cruising with my boat.

the island was far behind me.
the sea looked especially clean and beautiful.
it was in a really unusual shade of blue.
there was hardly any disturbance to the surroundings.
just peace and quiet.
something i havent felt for a long time.

prob took me almost an hour to sailed back to shore.
fell asleep in my cockpit.
i could feel the heat hitting hard on my bare skin.
the warmness of my life jacket.
the coolness of the sea.
it was the most pointless training i've ever had.
but also the one of the best.
leisure sailing. literally.
i wanna sail again.

i failed my maths.
but i was smiling when i got it back.
i guess i was long beaten.
saw it coming anyway.
wasnt affected much.
i've surrendered.

but someone kept reminding me it sucks.
constantly.
den did it really hit me hard.
i'm upset.
no more smiles.

the smell of smoke was stinging
you tried hard to keep it away.
but its just too strong
i'm not pretending that i am all right with it.
i'm not accepting it cause its you.
i just dun have the right to stop you.
but i wish you would quit.

went to sera's place early in the morning.
tot i would like just chill out and talk
but i ended melting into her comfortable sofa and fall asleep
zzzz.....itz really comfortable man

met my buddy for a show.
resident evil.
wasnt too bad a show
but aint fantastic either.
we were having lunch and staring at those secondary school kids.
st nicks. cat high. pl. ri. wadeva it was..
just student-watching and bitching.
the way the dress.. the way they carry themselves in their uniform.
some really din look to pleasant.

but looking at them.....
i cant help but wonder
was i like that last time?
seems like there's a huge generation btw me and them already.
how time flies.

some pictures i took on the last day of school 

sick of life

climbing up the freaking mountain
covered with snow
beneath it
the thick rocks.
peeking out of the snow occasionally
blocking every step forward you take.
you're all alone on this
no one to guide
no one to lead
you're all by yourself.
suddenly..
everything collapse.
an avalanche.

someone told me never to give up.
to fight on.
dun let destiny overcome me.
i told him i wouldnt.
but how long can i last.
i'm tired.
i just want to lie on the white cover
and never wake up.

reality is never good.
that's why there's fairytales.
dreamland.
where everything's perfect.
i'm looking forward to my fairytale
with my teddy bear.

met my team today.
ok..maybe half my team.
miss them.
those were the days.



silly girl loves teddy bear.
teddy bear loves bolster.

Chapfallen

i finally finished the marathon.
but i had a very bad finish.
a really awful one in fact.
havent felt so demoralized and disappointed in myself for a long time

feels good to wake up this morning knowing that i've nothing on my agenda.
dun have to study for another 12 hours like what i've been doing for the last few weeks.
however, the thought of screwing up my maths really badly still lingers in my head.
it doesnt want to leave.
i dun even wanna pack my bag and see my question paper.
fuck it.
i worked hard for my paper.
i cant believe this has happened.
i hate myself so much.

woke up with a temp of 39.9 diz morning.
my whole body was aching and hot.
yet i was still cuddled up under my thick blanket.
shivering.
din wanna wake up.
or leave my bed.
i've never felt this sick for a while.
i guess my immune system finally gave in to my odd schedule
but must it break down yesterday???
the day when i had 2 papers.
the day when i needed it to be at its best condition.
thanks.

i'm now just waiting for my results.
my fate depends on it.
i'm praying.
praying real hard.

to edgar and grace.
thanks for being such great studying partners.
to my dearest sera, lijie, vivien and buddy,
thanks for being there and helping me with my work.
love ya guys

"baby cakes" *a very interesting and nice song*

I just want you to know oh oh
That I think our love will grow yeah yeah

Baby cakes
You just don't know, know
How I I
I like it down low
And I just want you to know
That I think our love will grow
Will take it step by step
Because I'm not something you own

Confused don't know what I'm feeling
Confused relationships without meaning
In the mist I can see it gleaming
Time to wake up and stop the dreaming
Coz you're my lil Baby cakes
And I know you got what it takes
The way you make me feel
The way that I am
when you talk to you friends
And you call me your man
Im gonna tell you right now
That I appreciate it
You're the one for me
Your the real Shit
You was right there from the start
When I was lost you helped me find my mark
Tell her I gotta thank you thank you
Through the bad times
I jus picture me and you
With our fun time whether funs loaded
There's just one thing I want you to know

I just want you to know oh oh
That I think our love will grow yeah yeah

Baby cakes
You just don't know, know
How I I
I like it down low
And I just want you to know
That I think our love will grow
Will take it step by step
Because I'm not something you own

Lovin every minute
Just you and me
And I'm still dreaming
You'd be my baby
Maybe there's a possibility
We grow old together live happily
And your grave
Bring out the tiger in me
He says do i never need cursing me
You're the man for me
The one who thinks what will life be like
If our eyes never met
And they say it's a song for everyone
At the first sight you know it's love
See the person and you can't be hostile
Coz you got butterflies in ya belly
That's why I like a different dimension
Coz you can't help it but feel the affections
Sexual tention physical attractions
Instant flip flirtation actions

I just want you to know oh oh
That I think our love wil grow yeah yeah

Baby cakes
You just don't know, know
How I I
I like it down low
And I just want you to know
That I think our love will grow
Will take it step by step
Because I'm not something you own

I I got to know

The way you look at me
Yeah you pull me closer
Our bodies together
Under the cover
Soft kisses
With ya hands all over
If I have to cry
Then ya cry on my shoulder
Can't get enough
When you loosen my neck
Goes down to my belly
Carress my breast
Well ship your body
Like you were a goddess
You're the man for me
Need 2 gimmie the best
Your the number one for me
And it's no contest
For Any other man
Who got no interest
Loving you
Whenever it's wrong or right
I'm thinking of you
Everyday and night
People don't get the wrong idea
It's about us so don't interfere
The way you look at me
Cakes its gotta be
When your're out
When your stood right next to me

I just want you to know oh oh
That I think I'll have a go yeah yeah

Baby cakes
You just don't know, know
How I I
I like it down low
And I just want you to know
That I think our love will grow
Will take it step by step
Because I'm not something you own

impossible is just a big word thrown around
by small men who finds it easier to live in a world
they've been given than to explore the power
they have to change it.
impossible is not a fact. it's an opinion.
impossible is not a declaration. its a dare.
impossible is potential.
impossible is temporary.
impossible is nothing.

one down.
two more to go.

1095 days ago.
i'll always remember

i hate being misunderstood.
and someone just did it again.
itz just annoying.
itz just so frustrating.
i hate it.
stop it pls.

sometimes its just amazing how much one can do.
and push herself as hard as she could
and no one who ever understand.
you do your best to please someone.
you do your best to satisfy someone
but all dat person has to do is just say a simple sentence.
to ruin ur mood.
ruin ur motivation.
i just wanna do well now.
i need to.

tomorrow's econs..
i'm scared..
really am.
3 more days to the end of promos.
dat's fast..
it's gonna end much faster than i think it would.
izzit the end of me then?
i'll be praying hard.

144 hours dear.

today marks the death of my ezlink card.
it had served its purpose well for the last 13 months.
bringing me around the island.
my poor card.
it's only 13 months old.

studied with lijie and sera today.
i'm successfully moving up the log curve.
zzzzzzz.

thanks sera dear
for helping me better understand what's in my heart.
been quite unsure and confused lately.
thanks for making things seem clearer to me.

5 more days.
to get all C grade.
AHhhhhh....
i need another week.
i do i do~!!
no..
i need a miracle.

cupid has shot his arrow at the wrong time.
at the wrong person.
he has made a mistake.
love makes the world so complicated.
or does cupid not know what he is doing.
take a break cupid.
let love search its way.

there are so many things dat just doesnt seem explainable.
to diz particular girl who's seriously just mad, insane and unreasonable.
really wish i could give her a piece of my mind.
stop making my darling cry would u?
you're such a nuthead.. dat seriously...
we all hate you.

studied with sera and yewteng today.
i tried to pick up econs and start on it
but i just couldnt.
ended up doing maths again.
maths maths maths.
gotta do really well for maths.
or else all e efforts will just go to waste...read..
the drain.
and dat's gonna be so depressing.

judgement day is approaching.
my days are numbered.
carpe diem.
like today.

168 hours
*smiles*

still running on the track.
the marathon of studying.
the finishing line is still quite a distant away.
i wanna finish first.
finish this race with e best result i can ever have.
i need to
i'll just keep running.
its still a long race to go.
losing the stamina.
losing the faith.
losing the confidence
losing the strength to carry on.
i've to keep on running.
running.

i dun understand u and You.
i just dun.
guys.

"What I Like About You"

Hey..uh uh huh
Hey..uh uh huh
Hey..uh uh huh

What I like about you
Is that you hold me tight
Tell me I'm the only one wanna come over tonight
Keep on whispering in my ear tell me all the things that I wanna hear
'Cause its true that's what I like about you

What I like about you
You really know how to dance
When you go
Up
Down jump around
Talk about true romance
Keep on whispering in my ear tell me the things I wanna hear
'Cause its true that's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you

Uh uh huh

What I like about you
You keep me warm at night
Never wanna let you go
You know you make me feel alright
Keep on whispering in my ear tell me the things I wanna hear
'Cause its true that's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you you you
That's what I like about you

back to school

start of term 4
2 more weeks to promos.
1st day of school.
sucks.

*wheeeeeeee*

i love saturdays.
for now.
*grinz*

i passed my basic theory.
yeah~!

time is tickling..
2 more weeks to promos.
been studying quite abit
felt dat its enough.
but at the same time....it still doesnt seem enough.
is it?
study study....
mug mug...
mugger toad in action.
yawnz

1 month.
31 days.
744 hours.
love u.

kinda like diz pix. nice 

been studying quite alot lately.
drained.
just forcing myself to make sure i can do well
beginning to doubt myself.
doubt if i can make it diz time round.

ha...this song's been in my mind for e whole day.
thanks to mini grace and her wonderful singing thruout our study session.

"Penny & Me"
Cigars in the summertime under the sky by the light
I can feel you read my mind
I can see it in your eyes under the moon as it plays like music every line
There's a rug with bleeding dye under the fan in the room
Where the passions burning high by the chair with the leopard skin under the light
It's always Penny and me tonight

On the plane step up with both my feet
Riding in seat number 3 on a flight to NYC
Got my bean in a coffee cup next to my seat
Catch the view and another good book to read
Sending me home on the friendly skies Missing her eyes I
t's always Penny and me tonight

Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Staring at a million city lights
But it's still Penny and I all alone beneath the sky
Feel the wind brushing slowly by If I could soar I'd try to take these wings and fly
Away to where the leaves turn red
But no matter where I am instead
Singing along to feeling alright
We'll make it by in the pink moonlight
It's always Penny and me tonight

Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly close our eyes pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Penny likes to get away and drown her pain in lemonade
Penny dreams of rainy days and nights up late by the fireplace
And aimless conversations about the better days
Singing along to feeling alright, yeah
We'll make it by in the pink moonlight
It's always Penny and me tonight

Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes pretend to fly close our eyes pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight

i've got a headache.
a really bad headache.
and it sucks.

tmr will be a good day.
i know it will