i'm officially down with a flu and cough.



zzzzzzzzz....help...

Happy birthday JesS~!!



it been a nice 4 days...
slacking with my dear...
geez...if only life could always be like that
no sailing. no studying.


i'm sure...


just came back from bbq at andy's place
it was fun and hilarious...
the crazy bunch of peeps...


*sniff*
having a block nose...
how am i gonna sleep tonight...

This.......is my baby.

kisses from my "stead"

pretty babes. love you all.

love you all

i burnt and aching.
sucks...
gotta start mugging again.
cant wait for wednesday to come.

team SAiling

it had been a long week.


had a 5 day regatta....draining.
mentally... for the first 3 days
the wind just wouldnt pick up.
terrible.
AP AP....had to fight a battle with the currents.
the shifting winds. headers...lifters...
game plan game plan....
hot sun. sea sick.... everything
but i gotta thank weiguo...
he is a good coach.....
and he was right....i should be sailing a whole lot better den wad i did for this regatta.
shouldnt be so far behind ven...
he's very right.


4th day was even worst.
the worst of all.
2 races...
one which was strong wind.
couldnt hike out much....was struggling like a poor shit.
and claudia was flying....i could just see her way in front of me....with her boat flat...
and me....almost capsizing everytime i tack. crap.
the other was even more horrendous...
i couldnt start on time.....
i started like 10 mins late...
but i did sail well for it...just a terrible start. sigh. and that did screw me up real bad.
it's just disgusting. as weiguo would say.
but the day ended on a nice note....
when he came down.... and sailed my boat back with me...
thanks for coming down dear.....it was really sweet.


today was the best...
i sailed the best race in my life.
i had the prettiest start ever... first boat off and flying.
if only weiguo was there to see it...den he would stop saying my starts are killing him.
but....i guess i gotta thank you....for nagging at me the night before.
last race was gorgeous too....finished off sixth.
a great battle fought.
and hence....we beat MJ...yes...YEAH...we did it!!!...
nice one ven. nice one grace.
thanks for coming down too....grace ros zhenfang.
a big huge thanks for being there.....


had dinner with his family too.
one word.
fun.


i'm just tired now....sleeping time

just cut my hair.
hope i did the right thing.
haha.....

i'm stuck at home.
gotta study extra harder before my 5 days race
i dun really wanna sail anymore.
sigh....just an obligation to sail.
an obligation to study.
wad a forced life.


hey darlings...let's meet up one evening again.
it was great having dinner with you guys at chomp chomp
it was great catching up with all of you at the bbq.
a crazy time together.
i miss it already.


viv~!!!
wear your skirt the next time we go out k.
pretty pls.........love you.
hope you're working fine.
must get more sales k.

my other 2/3....making us a whole.

woke up early to have a breakfast.
caught an early movie.
and spent the rest of the day shopping.
it was tiring.
but i had wonderful day.
thanks.


the company was great.
and that's all that matters.

thanks for the handmade book
thanks for the cards.
had a wonderful meal at cartel with sera and lijie yesterday.
catching up on everything.
school. guys. army.
argh.
time was short.
hope to see you guys real soon


went to watch bball finals.
HC girls thrashed VJ 68-34
sadly,
HC guys lost to TJ by 5 points
no. 10 is cute.
haha...


yeah...he's coming back tmr...
but dun think i'll get to see him
gotta wait till monday. -pouts-

my "cuzzie" my darling and myself. love you

a big thanks to all who remembered my birthday. sera wei viv lijie wen sameema prisc jiehui ben. everybody
esp the guy who msg me from aust. THANK YOU~!
love ya all.
to my darling class.....for giving me a surprise celebration during econs. with almost 19 candles.
to my dear sailors....thanks for the gifts and yummy cake too.
to wanting...for the error filled birthday card.
and to yeanling for the wonderful pictures.... thanks.


it was a great day.....with a little downside... =)


lijie dear....is everything alright?
how's the application and all?
hope everything's fine.
been a long time since i last caught up with you


sera dear...
i dun like the army.
keep me company ok?
sigh.....


viv...happy working at video ez...
is it fun?
i'll call you when i can k... sorry
been busy.......acting guai.
hahah...


another week to last.
seven days.
three days without news.
hope you're fine.
get well soon.

stop buggin me to study.
i need a break too.
so sick of coming home and knowing that i have to study
just to satisfy you.
i'm so tired of studying.
i'm just studying for the sake of studying.
sian.


sigh. one more week....meet the hod.
think its the arts hod.
praying real hard she's nice.


got down to ordering the flowers for my mummy and his mummy for mothers day.
i think they are gorgeous.
ha...i'm so proud of myself.


i wanna go shopping...
been a long time since i last shopped.
ARGH.
so irrritating.


hehe
I MISS SERA TOO~!!!

heh...been almost a month since i last blogged
so many things happened
but i'm obviously too lazy and too cant be bothered to blog everything down liao
heh...
hhaha....my com crashed...and no one at home bothered to do anything about it.
so well...
i'm at andy's house now stoning.
so i might as well blog.
before pple like dear jh start scolding me again.
hey darling...rest well ok....how did u get appendicitis anyway -ouch-


lijie and wei....i miss you guys.~!!!!!
we'll meet up soon rite? *hint hint*
hahaha....
girl ar...dun be jealous larz...u still got him mah.... rite?


vivi....dun always be so sad ok....need anybody to talk to....i'll still be here... =)


sian....he's going back in again.
packing his bag now.
2 weeks....argh.
hahahha.... marathon time~!

Girls,
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forhead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you
and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."



GUYS...
Find a girl who calls you baby instead of hot or sexy
who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back,
who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,
who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most,
Who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,
Wants to be with you in public, even if you wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always,
Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy,
who makes you smiles just by knowing she loves you back.
Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends, While she gets off and you hear her go: "you're the one for me, for always"

i've found mine.

happy birthday noob~!! enjoy ya shaven head.


7 april. argh!
today is a bad day. right from the start.


firstly...andy enlisted at 830. 16 days to go.


secondly... i was late for school.. cause the buses din come as usual.
i bet there are almost 100 of us who were late. but no. they din bother asking why.
it really aint our fault. sigh.
one more and i'm in for detention class- to think i'm still on mc-


thirdly...i got back econs. fuck.
i screwed up essay one terribly. i dunno wad went wrong still.
wadeva it is...i got an O.
which means its finalised.
OOF
great. its time for tea with the bitch again.
i really need to study SMART and not HARD.
where's the old me....i need to find it. i wasnt like that in St nicks.


lastly... gp.
once again i'm stuck at C5. the same range. Always.
quote this" i have no worries about you failing at all, you're very CONSISTENT. but i know you can do better."
ms wong said i screwed it up.
i think so too.
she's expecting a B3 for bt2.
i'll try hard.
i want it badly too.


it had a been an awful day.
wish you were here.

ha...i'm on 3 days mc.
whee...that's nice.
din expect it though.
only wanted 1 day.
haha.... i'll take what i've got and enjoy it.


andy's going in tmr.
3 weeks.
sucks. *sob*
so i've got till the end of april to kill.
guess i'll just go mug and mug and mug
with bugs bunny *grinz*


oh. just heard that bing got enlisted into air force
congrats.
hmm...


got back my physical geog too.
i got like half more mark den human geog
*surprised*
oh well...that' s good...cause it means...i got AO pass for geog *jumps for joy*
sigh. if only i din screw up the major essays...big time.
*argh*

got back maths. fail. expected
got back human geog. fuck. hope i get 10 for physical too. at least get AO pass huh.
got back econs mcq. its alright. *cross my fingers* and hope to pass essays.
sigh.
something tells me i'm gonna sit in the principal's office again.
double f***


been seeing you for the last entire week.
nice.
thanks for being there.
esp today.


5 days more.
argh.
it really aint gonna be that bad rite?
it wont it wont.


i'm gonna sail tmr. YIPPEY.
FINALLY....

weekend had been spent outside
in the sea
got pretty burnt
race com isnt really that nice a job
esp finishing boat. really stressful.
but i guess i learnt alot.
never take things for granted for one.
sorry TJ. feel really bad for causing you so much shit.
its all the crappy wind's fault man.
if it has not shifted 180 degrees
we could have done a great job recording it.
still...sorry.


opti kids are so adorable at times.
bailing their "titanic"
scolding each other.
getting scolded by TJ.
ha...poor kids.

"its something unpredictable but in the end its right"


hehe....been 10 days since i last blog.
exams larz. block test.
been muggin like crazeeeee
thanks to my naggy dear.
haha...
make me study everyday.
*dead*


oh...dim sum buffet was fantastic.
viv was late. very late. and the 2 guys were STARVING.
andy and xf were like stuffing dimsum into their stomach.
hahaha... matchmaking session went pretty well.
haha... we caught hitch too...
nice show. very nice show.


block test was terrible.
econs was alright. but MCQ was a killer.
maths is GONE. simply cause lil miss noob here dunno a single shat about it and gave up studying for it. started panicking the night before. struggling to really CRAMP every formula in.
but it din really work out.
as for geog. FREAKING HELL.
mug like crazy..
spent the whole of wednesday studying like crazy.
forgo sleeping on thursday morning to make e extra effort to go to school at 8 to mug for a paper that starts at 1.
felt pretty confident about doing well.
but when the questions appeared.
*blank blank*
perfectly great.
i'm screwed once again.
i'm gonna fail BT one
*clap*


caught the eye 10 yesterday.
gosh.
its a horror show turned comedy.
catch it only if u're really bored.
waste money again.
sian. but it's better than BOOGEYMAN.
at least there's a little essence of cheap thrills.


played bball this morning.
one word.
fun.
next two words.
damn hot.
three words.
the air sucks.


helping out for a race tmr.
yesh.
i'm finally going for a race and not racing for it.
*jumps for joy*
i hope its gonna be fun.

been a long long time since i last blog.
got sick of the com.
first it crashed.
den i got tired of waiting for it be ok.
den i got pissed with it.. cause everything time i use it...
its for some project purpose...and seriously it turns me OFF.


anyway....congrats to those who did well for their A's
a big hug to those who aint happy with theirs.
to viv dear *hugs hugs*


its the school holidays.
but i just spent my entire day today doing econs mcq.
its terrible.
i just feel its so pointless.
have e same feeling as grace..-felt like we did alot...but learnt nothing-
grace questions alot. and we spent time arguing over answers.
ceteris paribus dear. econs is all about ASSUMPTIONS.


caught a portion of cheerobics on sunday.
it wasn't too bad.
but SN cheer team still rocks.
oh well....
took a trip to NTU open house too.
my future school. i hope.
let's see...
if i were to be really smart and get like...AAB or ABB....mass com here i come.
but if i were to get BBB and below....den i'll prob settle for NIE....and be a pe teacher.
sounds like great fun.
yeah. -i'm sure-
and if i really screw up...which isnt too low a possibility.
oh well.....prob art design and media.....
damn which means i gotta start working on a nice portfolio.
oh well.....we shall see.....right now...i just need to study the crap out of myself.
but man...that school is sure hell of an isolated larz.
i was literally lost in the other side of the world.
haah...it wasnt dat bad...i still know my way around...
but ha...if that's my school....hostel is for me man.
but i like my pretty big room better.
SOB.


ooo...had a fun time playing mahjong with andy leslie and jessica.
i have only one thing to say.
it was DAMN FUN.
and i like leslie's house.
I LIKE IT~!!!!!
wishlist.....earn big bucks...and buy a unit of that freaking nice condo.
haha....i'm a big time daydreamer.~!!


yeah...going for dim sum buffet tmr.
not as if i'm very for dim sum.
i rather have sushi buffet. -yum-
or chocolate buffet -yumyum-
oh well...it beats studying.


i'm finally not dat sick anymore..
and i can wear my contacts.!!
had enough of my nerd specs.
argh.


lastly...
happy birthday....
prisc. wei. viv. ven. chong and ben~!!!

A level's out tmr.
good luck dears.

funfair was a blast... i think
i guess i had a great time meeting up with all my frens.
hardly spent a shit coupon.
hahahaha...


to bingz...for hitting my balloon away and bullying me. thanks! *i had fun* enjoy ya backpacking trip. take care~!


alvyn for drumming so well and crapping with me. miss you.


buddy.. for getting me my slippers *a big huge thanks* and elmo balloon(which got hit away)


ben.. for making walk under the hot sun with you and your melted chocs from france~! =)


caleb for crapping with me. heh...enjoy ya trip at KL


and edgar dear for getting the huge ernie balloon and pretty orchids~!!


hahah....ven..mich...wanting..jos...yeanling...sera..lijie..angelo.
thanks everybody~!!!!


heh...i had like 100 bucks worth of coupons...
apparently no one bothered to spent in and chuck it all to me when e left.
haha....went last min "shopping" with them...
and just buy whatever shit that's left.
got poor grace a shirt~!!
hahaha....


to ven and bingz...
study harder for ya test ok.

funfair's tmr.
and i cant help but think that it's gonna be a flop~!
oops.
the bands are great though.

couldnt sail today cause my back hurts..
and wind was fabulously nice.
its always the case.
the nicest wind comes and i cant enjoy it.
fidelis got whacked by the freaking boom.
need stitches...but that silly girl begged the doc for glue instead.
her poor eye is bruised badly...ouch.


hasnt been a pleasant day.
grace's uncle passed away.
the big shot executive or something from sembcorp.
the only once out of twice i've seen this strong girl cry.
*hugs*

i enjoyed myself today.
chilling out was fun.

valentine's day this year was exceptionally wonderful.
*big big smile*
the day started being GOOD when my ever dear buddy
gave me the shock of my life when i walked out of the lift.
seeing him sitting at the lobby with a nice bouquet of blue roses in blue wrapping.
blue blue blue. just the way i like it.
ya. at 630 in the morning.
when i was heading for school.
talk about lack of sleep dear.
u dun exactly stay near me.
hmm....


felt really happy in school.
den met my eye-candy over lunch.
ooo....another point added to my day.
spent a couple of hours talking to him.
it turned out alot better than i expected it to be.


met my buddy for dinner.
had loads of fun.
thanks dear.


returned home to find someone sending me a bouquet of flowers.
sunflower in fact. nice.
but its just....weird and wrong.
mom flipped.
quarrels exchanged.
it's not like i wanted him to send me flowers.
dont understand why she gotta make it sound like its MY fault.


had a great V-day though.
thanks to all who made it so special.

met edgar grace and mich for a movie yesterday.
the machinist.
a pretty smart movie i must say.
its not easy to produce a movie which has it goes one round.
bumped into bing... he seemed a lil upset. cheer up ok!
and he dyed his hair....which looked a little...off.
Met edwin for a little while before he booked into camp. poor thing.
lounging that huge bag of his which prob weighs more than him.


i loved this week.
chinese new year.
spending time with my buddy.
with my cousins.
everybody.
nice.
din get to meet up with MY own frens though.
my darling bunch of crazy frens.
sigh. that's sad.
i wanna meet my darlings~!!!
aRGh.... i miss those days when i get to see sera and lijie every other day.
i miss those days where we would go to sera's place and go crazy.
sigh sigh sigh.


ben's back~! more company for me.
haha..


tomorrow's valentine's day.
i've got school.
i've got econs test.
hafta go mug.
sucks.
den again...not like it concerns me. haha.

chinese new year's been fantastic this year.
eating all e yummy goodies. gambling and winning big bucks.
playing with my lil niece.
ha...i love my niece... she's just so cute.
i'm so gonna bring her to the funfair.
let's just hope my cousin agrees to it.


i survived school today.
without falling asleep at all.
new year blues.
seriously...couldnt they just let us have one more day or no school.
argh.
one more day of no work. no school.
selfish.

just came back from my final theory.
whee....anybody wanna bet with me that i'll fail it?
i made so many careless mistakes...i could just go kill myself now.
yeah. *bangs head*
come to think of it...why do i even bother taking my license.
i dun wanna drive... i wanna be driven~!
someone to drive me around.
then i could sleep and slack in the car. yeah.
that's life.
that's the way it should be.


its chinese new year eve tmr~!!
i still need to go shopping.
hahah.....rooster year soon.
cock-a-doodle-doo.
rooster year just sounds.....weird.


someone made my day early this morning.
so today had been a pretty -all smile- day.
thank you~!

just remembered i'm taking my advanced theory tmr.
great.
i'm gonna flunk it.
i see it coming already.
hahah..... oh well..i'll just retake it after my A's

itz been one long and tiring week
everybody's falling sick.
edgar had dehydration.
mich had heatstroke.
yulin and jiayi fell sick too.
even my buddy is sick.
i'm not exactly strong either.
vomitted a few times.
suffered from dehydration too.
its a pretty awful feeling man.
get well soon~!


i need a huge dose of water.
buckets and buckets of it.


finally passed someone his gift yesterday.
awkward i must say.
you said you ran out looking for me.
what for dear...
sigh... i dunno what else to say.


stupid ben flew off to france..
for a week!
i'm jealous~!
some pple just get all the luck.
*sulks*
i'm stuck in singapore. under this freaking killer uv-rays

went shopping yesterday
i finally got myself a new skirt.. in baby green.
new shoes.. which looks really girly. very un-me.
hahah..
i love shopping with my buddy...*smiles*


ven's mom got her a $600 bucks diamond ring.
all because she was doing retail therapy.
ven u lucky ass...
$600...
i would buy lotsa clothes man.
not just a ring.
but still....ARGH~!

ahh....
the guy who is singing some i dunno what performance
should just QUIT singing.
out of tune.
out of pitchless.
hey mister...you're tone deaf~!!
and i wanna sleep.
stop it stop it stop it~!!
*bangs my head*

my stomach's hurt.
i feel like vomitting.
in fact i already did.
i'm tired.
dehydrated.
charred.
but it has been a rather nice weekend.
racing.
good and bad races.
fun and not fun times.
oh wellz.


seeing all the "black" faces in school today was really cute.
all the drained and tired bodies.
all the poor lil team mates of mine.
hope u guys recover soon~!!
oh wellz...
met viv and andy for dinner at chomp chomp.
miss them sooooooooo much.

just came back from school
yawns...i just wanna sleep now.
i've gotten darker and redder again.
training was tiring yesterday.
i think i'm tired from training because of the boat pulling and not the sailing.
gosh. all the freaking tyres are flat.
not a single one is in good condition.
seriously...flat tyres and steep soft sand is not a good combi.
where's the new seitechs?!!?


haha....found out something today.
*grinz*

woke up three hours ago.
and i'm feeling tired already.


but i need to start studying? man.


met edwin yesterday.
with the cap on...
so typical of every ns boy out from camp.


training was pretty fun yesterday.
thanks for draggin me into the sea.
ouch.

today seems like the only day so far this year dat i spent with a smile constantly.
i'm just feeling a little tired.
and cold.


first thing i heard this morning.
was the odds of us winning the championships.
as usual the power house VJ already have the champion place reserved for them.
but izzit really that hard to get 2nd?
MJ, TJ, RJ, TP.
we need a good coach. someone like tracey.
a miracle.
i wanna win.
i want it so badly.
do we really have to have weelee as a coach?
where's tracey.

Happy BirTHday bAby~!!


sailing. studying. sleeping.
its only 3 major things to do in my present life.
but i already find it mentally draining.
i wonder how am i gonna pull through the year.


i hate my geog teacher. squarepants.
cant teach for nuts. i'm not being evil or mean here.
but it's just a fact. ask any geog student
*roll eyes*


feel a sense of detachment from all my frens.
it just feels as though...
we are on a diff wavelength already.
i need to move out of my comfort zone.
but i dun wan to. i miss my darlings.


seems like most of my frens been pretty down lately.
not a good start for the year.


hey dear...
dun cry anymore ok?
hurts me to see you upset.
hurts all of us to see you so down.
i know its hard to let go...no one ever said it was easy.
but think it through hard....is it worth holding on to and waiting for?
you know it for yourself. and only you yourself is in control dear.
be strong girl....i'll always be here for you k.
*hugs*


lijie darling...
you too...
dun be so upset. dun be so angsty.
sorry for getting you such a screwed up job.
sorry for not being there for you.
smile more girl...
it'll make your day...i'll make other's day.
its not nice to go round with a sulky face.
no one likes seeing an unhappy you.
i know how it feels when it seems like the whole world is against you.
like every single thing just goes wrong.
but sweetie....dat's life...so dun let it bring you down.
try to face everything with a smile on ya face.
i would love to see a big big smile on ya face.
wadeva it is on ya mind....i hope you sort it out soon.
dun think so much. dun always think so much.
it makes one upset.
when u wanna do something...just get it over and done with.
thinking more and sorting things out more doesnt really help.
in fact it makes u feel worst.
i'll always be a phone call away or sms away.
love you dear....*big big hug*


viv....
sorry for not calling you...but you can always call me ok?
i noe you hate it at work too....
but bear with it larz... there's no such thing as a perfect job.
i'm so sorry i havent been there for you too...
anything. and i mean anything...you can call me.
anytime. beebee loves you.
*smuacks*


jiehui...
slacker~!!!
happy counting your kaching kaching.
hahaha....
i miss seeing you around in school~!!...
that cheeky grin on ya face everytime you see me.
oh yeah.....you've grew a teeny weeny bit chubbier.
but you're still so adorable.~!!!
lurve you~!


buddy~!!
help me take care of those two ok?
hard on you to always having to be the mediator.
dui bu qi.
miss you darling.
it really feels weird to not being able to see you every other day.
i guess i have really taken you for granted for the last 2 years.
sigh. i lurve you too silly boy.


alvyn.
i actually miss your crap and bullshit.
your angsty shit. your mat nonsense.
thanks for being there for me.
JC life would have been quite different without you.
thanks for being part of it.
no doubt you've made a huge impact in my life the last 2 years.
all the best in NS dear... =)

many have been telling me i've changed quite a bit over this few years.
from the compromising sweet girl..
to a short and hot tempered girl.
it seemed to be getting worst as the days goes by.
i just cant seem to be able to control my temper anymore.
is it influence?
or is it just me?
whatever it is.
sorry to all who have to bear with me.

i finally got down to cutting my hair.
after like.....3 years.
wow.
i feel so much at ease now.
but i miss my nice hair colour.
with the brown streaks that graudually ends with a nice tone of golden.
tataz hair.
but hey...i got to keep like the nice part.
hahahaha......
my bundle of hair.
itz looks ridiculous and scary though.
like i'm into voodoo or something. =)


it was a mistake to meet.
i'll just stick to seeing you in my dreams

thought i would be happy,
but it all turned out otherwise.
it was a terrible time.
but i'm still glad it happened.

school's just not right without all of you.
and this is just the beginning.

my time table actually looks kinda disgusting.
with 30 breaks out of 67 periods.
i end school pretty early too.
other then tues. i end before 3 everyday.
esp on a wed.
i end at 945?! and i got sailing at 2.
how nice.
but i actually hope it stays this way.
i kinda like it.

my uniform's ironed.
my shoes are out.
my bag's packed.
homework's not done.
school's tmr.
heading to bed after shower.
fuck i need to wake up at 530 tmr.
my average waking up time for the last two months is 9am.
damnit.


just came back from grace's house.
i had a whole load of great fun.
tons and tons of it.
thanks mr ng. thanks buddy. thanks sailors.
itz gonna be so awkward going to school tmr.
the familar faces wouldnt be around.
i will miss my buddy alot alot.

its raining heavily on new year day morning.
wonderful.
i'm heading back to my bed.

2005 is here. nothing much to feel about it.
its not like its a year to look forward to.
or is it?
2004 has been a rather great year.
there have been highs and low.
its just exhilarating.
i wouldnt change the past year though.
things happen for a reason.
made new friends. new relationships.
although somewhere along the 2004 track, i lost some too.
in fact. i kinda love 2004.
my sailing team mates. lijie. sera. viv. wei. wenz. prisc. jiehui. alv. ys. bing. and everybody else. thanks for being part of my life in 2004.
i've changed quite a bit over this year.
for good...and for bad.
sorry to those who have to tolerate my unreasonable mood swings.
sorry to those who always have to cheer me up.
i will miss those days i spent with my buddy at the sailing table.
i will miss the times i always get to see lijie and sera.
i will miss those familar faces around school.
2005 is gonna be real different for me.
gotta adapt myself to the new enviroment without my friends.
a whole new change, in my life.
to all my dears, greatest thanks for always been there for me, esp lijie, sera, viv and andy.
love ya all.


my only resolution for this year.
study freaking hard.
farewell 2004. hello 2005.

80 000 and still counting
this is one hell of a depressing way to end the year.
a moment of silence to those who have perished and lost their loved ones in this tragedy.
hope the coming new year would be kinder to them.


3 days to school.
fuck.

i feel like joining some volunteer group.
fly to thailand. help them.
and not come back.

jiehui wrote this on her blog "abby made us nice cookies.. as usual. although she was the only one among us who didnt take home econs, her sewing and cooking/ baking seems to be the best... "


geez. thanks dear. hahah...

Grace cut her hair~!!!! REAL SHORT~!
but she looks nice. heh.
it kinda resembles bing.
in fact quite a bit.
oh great. this is just Perfect with a big P. =p


you said you aint ready to talk to me.
why the sudden change of mind?
i'm just surprised.

i din get to meet ya today.
it was rather disappointing.
oh wellz.


i took a bus that went along joo seng road
i realized the community centre was there no more.
our trainings. our matches. our joy. our sorrow.
games after games.
i miss basketball. i miss my team.
i miss those days.

i just remembered~!
i meeting you later tonight
*big big smile*

just woke up with a bad headache.
argh. angst.
feel like going over to play with my niece again.
that cute little shat.
but i need to go meet andy and viv for lunch.
if i dun turn up today, i'm gonna get it so bad from them.
i've been warned.


its tues. that makes it wed thurs fri sat sun left?
5 days to school.
oh no.

scenes of the aftermath of the tsunamis flooded the papers and news.
its just so tragic.
a nice christmas gift. a nice holiday season.
one moment they are enjoying the blistering sun and cooling waters.
the next. searching for their loved ones and saving their own lives.
mother nature sure has her weird way of showing us her strength and dominance.


met up with jiehui and serena for dinner.
laughed till my stomach hurt. she's still the crazy girl i've always known.
hope you find a nice job girl. duck and hippo tour guide? ha
i miss my st nicks days.


met my buddy and viv too.
and they ganged up against me.
that's so sweet of them huh.
supposed to go for a movie but everything was sold out.
to think that i tot town would be less crowded on a monday night.
crowds sucks.
shopping actually seemed pretty fun afterall.
i got a nice pair of jeans. *yesh*


i had a great day, a great night.
but it was all short lived.
when someone ruined it all at the last moment.
why did you have to take the smile away from me?

christmas party at my aunt's place was great..
food was nice...but there was far too much food.
too much leftovers. sigh.
what a waste of food.
i dun like wasting food. argh.
my little niece is as adorable as ever.
she's just a bundle of joy.
love the way she smiles. the way she clings onto me.
the way she speaks. the way she sings.
just love her loads.
brought home bags of presents *big big smile*
heh...this is one great christmas.


all but my one last wish.

woke up with a great big smile this morning.
my last christmas wish was partially fulfilled.
in my dreams last nite. *santa did a half-job huh*
so dun wanna wake up.
wanna remain in dream land.
i hope it comes true.
i will sleep early tonight.
so i can meet u in my dreams again.


do dreams come true?
i wish it would.

boy am i glad to be at home.
chilling with my nice warm cup of hot chocolate.
town was packed. with people with cars.


2 hours to christmas.
one last thing on my wishing list.
i hope i would wake up tmr morning with what i really want.
wishing hard it would be fulfilled.
my last wish.
love you.
merry christmas to all~!

it christmas eve~!!
and i'm baking cookies...
whee....smells good.
yum~!

just came back from shopping with viv and lijie.
geez...wanted to check out the mango sale.
but boy... it was just bombarded with aunties digging and throwing the clothes around.
i cant believe they could actually queue up to try the clothes.
i dun think i have that patience.
its freaking long.
ended up at zara trying skirts and tops (without queuing)
found something nice. something dat doesnt seem very me.
hmm....still considering if i should get it.
ha.....finally got my bro and sis presents.
they love their presents.
thanks to me.


shopping with viv dear can be so torturous at times.
she makes you walk ALOT.
dat indecisive girl.
ha...me and lijie just couldnt help but laugh at her.
should have recorded her choosing her shoes for prom.
ha.....classic comedy.
thanks for bringing so much JOY and LAUGHTHER girl.
love ya.~!

i hate it when pple make assumptions.
congrats that u're seeing somebody.
wheee....*clap*
i'm NOT WAITING for you.
understood?
*smiles*
stop making me angsty.
thanks.


heh....my foot still look a little purplish.
hmmm...a little numb too.
haha...my poisoned foot.
i almost burst out laughing when i saw the doctor drew a pic of my left foot on my records.
and highlighting my toe where it was bitten.
his drawing sucks...
hahahha....and he drew the wrong foot at first.
noob.

breakfast was nice.
thanks grace, mich, ven and edgar.
the serangooners.
hahah.....


and as usual.
certain pple would ruin my day again.
wadeva it is.
gonna go shopping with viv soon.
gotta join the last min shopping crowds.
ARGH~!


tmr's christmas eve...
hohoho.~!

i hate this world.

i dun like it when my mom is upset.
i dun like it when i see my dad fussing over monetary matters.
i dun like it when pple abuses the kindness of another.
i detest pple like dat.
i hate reality
hard work never pays off.
its just that unfair.
always.


fuck the world.
i hate this world.
i just wish armaggedon would be tmr.
and the world would start from scratch.
back to the beginning of the big bang.

just woke up after taking medication.
after effects of the jab sure made me one drowsy shat.
i actually managed to be totally knocked out for one hour at NSC yesterday.
the freaking painkillers are not working much lor.
my feet still hurt.
STUPID dunno wad. prob catfish
sting me~!!
cost me my training. and having to make me go thru this pain.
hurts like F***
so far i've only seen the sailors getting stung by jellyfish.
think i'm like one of the few LUCKY ones to get it by the catfish.
ARGH....try hammering a thumbtack into your toe.
that's how freaking painful it is~!!!


thanks for the christmas present fishy.


managed to keep myself awake and drag myself to changi for my class chalet after
the training jab and sleep.
played truth or dare...but everybody had to choose dare.
wad was the forfeit?
walk around this freaking scary isolated, creepy house.
it was terrible.
it was just like a scene taken of a horror movie.
and we had to take photos with the windows as a background.
damn.

went for a shopping spree with my parents today.
my mom got me a top for AX.
another from zara.
and almost got me this skirt i like.
she wanted to get me shoes too
i told her i'll wait till after christmas den i'll think about it.
its crazy.
i hardly get anything for myself when i go out with my frens.
but when i'm out with my parents, the number of bags i had to carry is shit larz.
moral of the story: go out with ya parents.
they pay for everything. HA~!


enough of shopping.
christmas is coming.
presents time~! =)

a week left to christmas.
a couple of days left to shopping for presents.
i got my muvo slim MP3~!!
ha...another strike off of my wishing list.
ha....one more thing left.
my samsung E700
*cross my fingers*
hope my parents get that for me.
*grinz*

think i'm gonna think twice about studying photojournalism.
shutter is scary.


my mood swings are getting from bad to worse.
but seriously,
i dun give a damn.


so stop pissing me off.
fine. i won't talk to you~! satisfied??

my teddy bear's back~!!!
this is one rather good morning.

i got my nice white sweater.
lurve it.
ha..the sales guy was really adorable.
think he just started out working.
he seemed so panicky and worried.
constantly apologising to me and asking me to give him a little more time just so he could find the size i wanted.
take your time man. its ok.
when he finally got it.
this group of working ladies were staring at me.
apparently their fren wanted the size i was trying on.
but the sales guy told them i had priority~!
caused i asked him first. *thumbs up*
oh wellz...in the end decided to be nice and let the lady have the piece i was holding on to and went back to the other outlet at taka to try to get the size i want.
couldnt stand the stares anymore...and din really wanna fight for it.
phew..last piece there...and i got it.
*big big smile*


there's still so many things i wanna get though.
more shopping for me.

i'm unsure of how i feel towards you.
but i will sort it out soon.
give me a little more time.
and we'll be frens again.


yeah...sera just msg me to tell me she got my sneakers,
with a mixture of dark blue, light blue and white.
hope its e right one.
one more down from my wishing list.
cant wait for her to return from hong kong. ha~!
the weather's been soooo cold...
itz nice to sleep.
also tells me its the christmas season.
hohoho.....
i wanna get everything on my wish list.
can someone rich get me my wants.
pretty please.

151485..whee..dat's me and my nooblet boat. hah...i cant see myself. but its good enough. my sail..nice and big..~!

finally my major regattas have come to an end.
resting time. *yeah*
not bad...finished 28th in open category and 10 in ladies division.
quite satisfied. gotta work harder though.
screwed up here and there...
but 2nd and 3rd day races were rather good.
managed to finish in top 20.
*big smile*
won school team 2nd and club 2nd...
yippeeeeee.....great.....


met someone over the weekend.
it had been awkward
and seemed rather unpleasant.
but it was still nice to see you~!
miss ya loads man.
but its just seem weird.
sigh.
wad's wrong with me?
occasional thoughts of hoping to have you back seem unrealistic.


i will just wish and not hope.

it's been a disappointing day.
*sticks tongue out*
first day of laser open sucks.
screwed up big time.
thanks to a wun-der-ful full rig who decided to cover me for my start.
no wind....got covered.
=p dead.
its ok. tomorrow's a brand new day.
must sail really well tmr....
and pray hard they have 8 races by sunday.
den i can say bye bye and discard the two noob races today.
*cross my fingers*


i miss you. miss you. miss you. miss you~!!!!!!!!

feeling fucked up.
enough said.
*big smile*

it seems that i'm always the cause of everything.
its always my fault.
so if i i cease to exist, the world would definately be a better place.
maybe not the world, but just the life of pple i made a havoc on.
i'm sorry i existed.
blame me.

i just wished you could stop mentioning his name.
its really weird to keep hearing it.
i so dun wanna be reminded of him.
it gives me diz weird feeling inside.
a weird awful feeling dat i dun like.



the wind's still blowing strong.
one more day to last.
i'm tired.
and next week's gonna be worst.
hahah.....edgar's food regime of stuffing myself with loads of proteins and carbo is killer.
meat. rice. bread. burp.




i really need a brainwash.
like start my life from scratch.
there are so many things i wished i could like delete off from my brain memory.
trying so hard to fight thinking about it.
but it just doesnt wanna go away.
persistent memories.
good and bad.
memories kill you unknowingly.
the silent killer from the inside.



i'm missing my teddy bear.
wonder when it would be back.

the mat vs the ah beng.
the hip hop vs the rocker.
the better performer vs the popular one.
may the more talented one wins.


taufik won~!
i guess singaporeans are not blinded by that smile afterall.

finally got down to signing up for final theory.


regattas coming up. yeah.
gotta win the team division.


2 more weeks to the end of my shit job. *big smile*

the first time i talked to you.
i mistook you as a sailor from tj.
those eyes of yours really attracted my attention.
that was almost a year ago.


you said you wanted breakfast too.
and i got it for you.
you started cracking your lame jokes.
and the crappy video clip of the guy jumping off the cliff.
your classic boat. our chats out at sea.
sailing next to each other. yakking away before the race started.
we started trying to capsize each other.
playing pirates out at sea.
i sailed ur full rig back, you sailed my radial.
that was june this year.


you lent me your burgee.
coming down to nsc with ur green uniform and tie with it.
u were stranded in school and had to take a pink slip.
heh. you din noe how much i was depending on it.
alliance from tp with andy and jp.
last day of interschool.
you forgot about bringing change.
and i had to endure sitting next to dirty you.
thru the traffic jam at eunos.
and we started playing with your phone.


soon we started hanging out like crazy.
dinner at chomp chomp. chilling in town.
me you my buddy.
the first time u held my hand.
was to reassure me that everything would be all right.
it was really nice. i remember keeping it out of sight from somebody.
den three soon became two.


our killer spicy dinner at bugis.
our long 1 hr waiting for 70 at suntec.
the dinners at gardens.
the scary movie where we both kinda regretted watching.
the bus rides home, not letting me get down at my stop.
always ending up at jalan kayu.
you came down specially to pick me up after my test, just to accompany me home.
it was great to have your company.


bringing me lotsa food when i wasnt feeling well.
national day.
9th august.


memories kinda played back in my today.
constantly.
probably cause i was at bugis.
the place we always end up at.
somehow, i really miss u recently.


i wonder if i made a mistake one month ago.
but what done cant be undone.
or could it?
was i blinded by anger?

went for supper at jalan kayu.
burp.
it was yummy-licious.
ice tea was nice. prata was all right.
havent ate much the whole day. was starving~!!
supper just made my stomach real happy.

ur company was greatly appreciated today.
training has never been this fun since a long time.
a full pasta lunch, going down to bedok, rigging up, racing with each other, kicking my burgee into the sea, washing my seaweed attacked boat, pulling the lousy trolley back, walking out to the bus stop, stoning on the bus, a satisfiying dinner followed by a stroll in town.
thanks buddy.
those were the days.




somehow i really wished i could have you by my side tonight.
where's my teddy bear when i really want it.
guess i'll just stick to my comfy blanket.
zzz.

12 hours ago i was intoxicated.
12 hours later.
my mood turned upside down.
and it's all thanks to you.
i'm flustered. exasperated. disappointed. aghast.
right now. at this present moment.
i really hate you.
for ruining my day.
i saved it for you. i waited the entire day.
and you just spoilt it all.
you can be such a jerk at times.
argh.




i hate myself because of you.

Do not look back and ponder over what might have been,
Nor be troubled about the year ahead for it has yet to come.
Live today to the fullest and make it beautiful so that it will be worth remembering.



i wonder how you're doing.
how's things been for you since then.
get well soon dear.
miss that sparkling eyes of yours

yeah. finally changed my blogskin.
and i think its finally nice.
more like me.
blue blue blue.
and more blue.

i'm bruised.
i'm shagged.


420 was just great fun man.
the sun was scorching.
the wind was pretty strong.
the sea was not that choppy.
a perfect day for my two-men boat.
my crew rocks.
we had lotsa fun.
from laughing at our stupid mistakes to almost capsizing.
from leading the fleet to overtaking the last few boats.
the boat travelled faster den the powerboat.
ha. rox big time.
seeing my dear crew out of the boat.
sorta flying above the water.
wow.
enjoyed myself greatly man.
thanks jiayi~!
for being such a wonderful crew
sorry for screaming and shouting at you though.
sorry for making the both of us jump around the boat.
geez.

might be sailing in 420 permanently though.
dun really want it.
i do have a great partner
but i still like the laser.
be a lonesome sailor
just me and my darling nooblet boat.
ha.
let's hope i can sail both classes for interschool.
sounds crazy.
but i'll pray hard. ha


hope grace and mich will be fine.
dun be so affected sweeties.
it takes time to sail well.
cheer up.


i'm glad you found what you lost.
dun be so careless next time.
really got me worried for awhile.

i thought i wouldn't miss you
but i do
i really really do.
i was wrong.

my skin's burning.
my body's aching.
my eyes are puffy.
i'm dehydrated.

but 420 was great.
going at a really fast speed was
WON-DER-FUL.
*big smile*
i get to be crew tomorrow.
yeah....
i'm gonna trapzee and fly.

i had a wonderful dream last nite.
a dream of you and me.


if only i didn't have to wake up.



so sorry to throw my tantrum at you.
you were right.
you hardly get mad at me.
*shrugs*

a perfect day.

i'm freaking pissed today.
made my way to one end of east coast for training.
rushed down in a cab.
only to reach there and realized nobody's there yet.
you told me at 10 to be there by 11.
reached at 12.
received a call at 12.05.
"training's cancelled. we're still in school."
you had been in school the whole time and u only called to tell me that at 12~!!
how sweet can dat be.
how last freaking minute could dat be.
no one bothered to keep me up with any info i guess.
ya.so it's my fault that i dun take pw and din have to be in school.
so it's my fault dat nobody kind enough could let me noe wad's happening.
thanks alot.

walked out of nsc alone.
1.8km.
under the freaking hot afternoon sun
and i din get to sail.
damn.


silly girl misses her teddy bear.
loads.

don't regret what has happened.
things happen and people move on.


the times we spent and fond memories would always be with me.
love my teddy bear.


no regrets.

I never could've seen this far
I never could've seen this coming
Seems like my world's falling apart

Why is everything so hard
I don't think I can deal with the things you said
It just won't go away

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You would still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through

I pictured I could bring you back
I pictured I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way
Without you I just can't find my way

I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go

i had enough.
damn it.
enough is enough.

I'd like to think I'll be happy again, but I really need to stop & cry right now.
It feels like one of those days where I feel like crying, so I do.
But no tears fall from my eyes, my heart is crying & that is so much worse.

Cold, crying, wanting to get away..
screaming and bleeding..
need to breathe...
gotta get away. smashing, crashing..
throwing my self away.

I draw a pretty picture
I draw it with a twist
I draw it with a razorblade
I draw it on my wrist.

how you hurt yourself on the inside to try to kill the thing on the outside.
You asked me what's wrong and I said nothing.
But as I turned and walked away, a tear ran down my cheek.
I whispered everything.


there's only one word on my mind now.
sigh.
i dun even feel dat i can smile.
dun even feel good.
at all
think i have hit the lowest point of my mood.
sigh

to all my dearies and frens.
hang in there ok?
2 more weeks.

i HATE the way things are now.

i dislike my life at the present moment

Damn it. Screw it. F*** it.

nobody listens.
i'm on my own.

cant you see it.
i dun need anything more.



itz just you i want.

i only want things to be what it has always been.
that's all.
is it really that hard for you to understand?
why do u keep assuming.


damn


try to see it from my point of view will you.

sometimes you cant think about painful things
you cant make your mind focus on them
your brain just slips away


in physics, we learn that opposite attracts.
so that means two different individuals with two different thinkings and wants
should be together.
but that is not so.
life works in an odd way.
if you have too similar a character u argue.
if you have different characters, u argue too.
so what's up with this soulmate thing.
when and how do you know u found one?
soulmates should always just remain as soulmates.
dun try to go beyond that.
things wont work out.
chances of it working out is way low.
just forget it.


i hate to argue with you.